Thursday, May 29, 2008

Modular Pakistani Kima

                                    from The Urban Vegan

Curries are totally the Chewbaccas of the food photography world, let me tell you.



They're not real attractive. They don't photograph well. They have a tendency to blurt out weird noises for no good reason. They're a strange strange thing, curries.

Despite all that, this is a nice solid curry recipe, even more brilliant because it lets you build your own. Got a taste for peas? Toss them in. Hate peas but dig carrots? Hook yourself up. It's cool like that.

And damn does it make a LOT of curry. I'm going to be eating it for at least a week.

The only changes I made to the recipe were a) I had to double the cooking time (because my damn potatoes just REFUSED to cook), and b) before serving, I tossed about 1/2 of the curry into my food processor and processed it--I'm a fan of the type of curry where you kind of peer at it, wondering WTF exactly is in it, but then throw all caution to the wind and dig in. I've noted both adjustments in the recipe below.

  • 1 large onion chopped

  • 3 cloves garlic, minced

  • 3 T. olive oil

  • Pick one: 1 box LightLife grounds, 1 16-oz. can beans of your choice or 1 c. texturized vegetable protein (I used 1 can of chickpeas, drained)

  • Pick one: 2 c. chopped kale, spinach, or mustard greens (I used spinach)

  • Pick one: 1 c. peas or chopped carrots (I used peas)

  • 1 c. water or vegetable stock

  • 1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes

  • 2 potatoes, diced small

  • 2 to 4 T curry powder (I think I used 3)

  • 1 dash each of cinnamon, ginger and turmeric

  • Salt, to taste


In a large pot over medium-low heat, saute the onion and garlic in oil until soft. Add your green of choice (eg, kale) and saute about 5 minutes.

Add remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil and then lower heat and simmer, covered, 25-35 minutes until all vegetables (especially potatoes) are soft. (My cooking time actually took about 60 minutes+. I had a hard time getting the potatoes to soften. So basically, just cook it until you've got the potatoes at the consistency you'd like.) Curry should not be too soupy. If it's too watery, remove lid and cook another 5 minutes. (Optional: toss half of your curry into a food processor--or use on of those hand-held processor thingies--and process it. Add back to the pot.)

(Recipe from The Urban Vegan)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Cleveland VeganZ Unite! And Booze!

So a brilliant vegan co-worker of mine stumbled across this Vegan Drinks website, and came up with the brilliant idea of starting our OWN vegan drinking group for the Cleveland area! (Did I mention that she's brilliant??)

Click on the pic to visit our Cleveland VeganZ blog...

It's going to be one Friday night every month, and the location will vary each month (sometimes eastside, sometimes westside, but always some place plentiful with booze).

Anyways, though we haven't settled on a definite date for the inaugaral drinking event, it will probably be the last Friday in June. And I do have the blog up and running, so I encourage you all to check it out (and/or sign up for the mailing list).

If you're a vegan in the Cleveland area, we hope (nay, DEMAND) to see you there. This means you, Kevin, Suz, Veggie Girl, and Kim (and other people that I know I am leaving out and will probably add later, while feeling bad for being senile)!

And if you're a vegan Clevelander who would like to have a link to your blog posted on our page, please email us and let us know. It's all about the social-networking, babies!

Oh, and finally, if you'd like to support our social-networking *COUveganboozingGH* idea, feel free to post this image on your page and link to Cleveland VeganZ! Or you can also just mail us avocados. (Yes, I'll exploit pretty much ANYTHING to get free avocados!)

And please spread the word, of course! If you know someone in Cleveland who is vegan or interested in veganism, send them a link or, even better, chain them to the roof of your car and drag them along!

Lazy, Like Your Mom, In the Sack, This Weekend, Comma



Not only am I lazy, I am also incompetent (inCOMPETent, not inCONTINent) and forgot to bring in anything related to anything recipe-ish today (and I had a bunch of stuff too!). *sigh*

And I'm not even feeling witty today either!


Mea culpa.

Instead I will share a picture of an awesome peanut butter pie that my friend P made for us a couple weekends ago for dessert:

Unfortunately the leftovers weren't taken home, so I ended up gorging on pie all week.

*Tears of bloated fatness*

I also share a pic of a souped-up version of the Veganomicon banana bread I made last week. It was layered with a mix of walnuts, brown sugar, and semi-sweet chocolate chips to the point of not even resembling banana bread anymore. It was the kind of banana bread you were always hoping for when you were little, but instead you'd just get shitty boring banana bread with those inexplicable brown squiggle-like brown things strewn throughout that you just had a hard time bringing yourself to eat. Who needs that shit when you can have pure unadulterated sugar? Topped with chocolate? Topped with sugar? Yeah.

PS. I swear I will post something useful tomorrow. Unless I don't.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Maple Mustard-Glazed Potatoes and String Beans

                                    from Vegan with a Vengeance

I made these maple mustard-glazed potatoes and string beans (from VwaV) this weekend when one of my friends came over for dinner (I subbed in red potatoes for the yukon golds). And MAN were they fricking good. I post them today because they'd actually make a really fantastic side for a barbecue, especially since they really DO taste best at room temperature. They are sweet, sticky, mustardy, and just super f-ing yum.

The only thing that weirded me out about them was the green beans. By the time the potatoes were totally done cooking, the green beans looked kind of like crusty sidewalk worms--you know, the kind that get somehow get themselves stuck in the middle of the pavement right before the hot midday sun appears. They tasted really good, but attractive they were not. So... I'd recommend maybe waiting until you remove your foil and lower your oven temperature to throw them in with your potatoes. But that's just me. If you're into shriveled sidewalk worms, by all means, ignore me. (I have altered the recipe directions to reflect the change though. Just FYI.)

And now, a related question:

I know that Dijon mustard and red wine vinegar are both frequently used in vegan recipes, but I've always been a bit flummoxed about which brands to buy for each, because both contain wine, and most wines are not vegan. I usually just end up using balsamic vinegar instead. So my question is: How do you all go about selecting your dijon mustards and red wine vinegars? Do you KNOW of specific vegan brands? Or do you just say, fuck it, and buy whatever's available? (The dijon mustard is actually not as much of an issue for me anymore since I did finally find one that contains neither honey nor white wine. But I figured I'd toss that it out there anyways.)

  • 2 lbs. small Yukon gold potatoes (halved, about 1 inch pieces)

  • 1/2 lb. string beans, halved, ends cut off and discarded

  • 1 yellow onion, thickly sliced

  • 2 cloves garlic, minced

  • 3 T. tamari or soy sauce

  • 1/4 c. pure maple syrup

  • 3 T. Dijon mustard

  • 2 T. olive oil


Preheat oven to 400. Put the potatoes in a 9x13 inch casserole dish (or rimmed pan). Stir together the remaining ingredients until the mustard is dissolved. Pour over the potatoes and mix well. Cover with foil and put in oven. Bake for 25 minutes. Removed from oven, add the green beans, and toss. Turn oven down to 350 and cook for 25 minutes uncovered. Remove from oven and toss again, cook for 25 minutes more uncovered. Let them cool down a bit after they are cooked so that the sauce becomes more sticky. Best served at room temperature.

(Recipe as posted at Stivers' Family Update, originally from Vegan with a Vengeance)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Corn and Edamame-Sesame Salad

                                    from Veganomicon

For some reason, eating shelled edamame reminds me of eating many tiny Kermits.


Which would be vegan, I believe, seeing as Kermit (close your ears, kiddies) is just a puppet. And unless you took a nice big chunk out of the hand underneath, all you'd really be feasting on is felt.

So yeah: many tiny Kermits.

All in all, I liked this salad. It's nice, crisp, spring-like, and simple. I served it over some greens, and it's made for a tasty (though unfortunately not super-filling) lunch.

I must take pause though to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart, and that is the topic of lettuce salads. I hate them. Lettuce salads are, to me, akin to fingernails on a blackboard. As soon as you toss lettuce into any salad I'm eating, I am promptly bored with it.

Things that I find strange about lettuce salads:
  1. Why would ANYONE ever order a lettuce-salad at a restaurant FOR THEIR MEAL? This blows my mind. No matter HOW much shit you soup that thing up with--fancy rims, spoilers, bass, etc.--it STILL JUST TASTES LIKE A BORING LETTUCE SALAD. So why would you go out to eat AND ORDER ONE? Seriously. Especially when they're typically RETARDEDLY overpriced. $9 for a lettuce salad? F-ing bite me, dude. When I see people actually ORDER these at restaurants, I always suspect that perhaps their bodies have actually been taken over by pod-people. Go wander into someone's garden and just start gnawing, for god's sake. Save yourself 9 excruciating bucks.

  2. Why would you ever MAKE one of these as a meal at home? I mean, unless all your limbs have been chopped off while you are simultaneously (and inexplicably) filled with an excruciating and insatiable hunger, and the only thing that you can possibly do (after FINALLY getting that damn refrigerator door open with your stumps) is rip open a bag of loose-greens with your teeth and then start a-gnawing, why would you EVER make this choice? There's SO much more interesting stuff to make. Other than flaccid boring unoriginal lettuce. OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY. I have never once thought, in my whole life, man, I really think I'd just like me a nice bowl of lettuce with some shit thrown on top of it.

  3. I feel like I had a third thing to ramble about, but I've gotten all flustered and overly-excited in shouting about the first two that I forget what it is. So: on to the recipe.


  • 2 T. toasted sesame oil

  • 1 T. rice vinegar (or any vinegar works fine)

  • 2 t. tamari or soy sauce

  • 2 c. frozen, shelled edamame

  • 1 c. fresh corn (1 or 2 ear, depending on the size) or partially frozen corn

  • 2 T. toasted sesame seeds

  • Generous pinch of salt


Bring a a big pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, whisk all the dressing ingredients in a medium-size mixing bowl.

Boil the edamame for 3 minutes. Add the corn and boil for another 2 minutes. Drain into a colander and run under cold water until cool enough to touch. Add the edamame and corn to the dressing and toss to combine. Add the sesame seeds and toss again. Salt to taste. Cover and chill at least 15 minutes. Yum!

(As posted on Splendid Sustenance)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

This Week's Random Lindy Loo Tidbit in Lieu of a Recipe (Which I Actually DO Have, But, Well, Steve Brown)

In cheerier news, I went to the prom this weekend and am now in love with a yo-yo player.


I loved my hair so let me introduce you.

Reader, hair. Hair, reader.

My dress was terrible, sea-foam green, and caused a friend to uncontrollably blurt, "Wow, you look like a president's wife." So, alas, it did not get me laid.

It did, however, call up memories of that one urban legend where the girl goes to prom, and suddenly begins sweating and bending over at the waist and is having problems breathing, and her friend rushes her home, and the girl dies, and they autopsy the body only to find out that the girl had embalming fluid in her system, which, when she began to sweat, had seeped into her from her motherf-ing dress (!!) because the dress-shoppe owner had apparently bought the dress off an undertaker's assistant WHO HAD STOLEN IT OFF A DEAD GIRL! OH HELL NO! Except my problems breathing and bending over were mainly just because I bought my dress at a thrift shop and it was, I later realized, a bit too tight in the middle. So if I sat for too long, my breathing basically stopped. But I prefer to wax nostalgic about better embalming-laced prom-dress days of yore. *wistful sigh*


My favorite part of the prom was actually Steve Brown (who, coincidentally, I think is vegetarian, based on a brief conversation I stepped in on during a quick smoke, but that is just a sidenote, but an actually kind of COOL sidenote and a long sidenote that I keep making longer just because it's fun).

Steve Brown? Who's Steve Brown? you ask.

Well, Steve Brown is my Yo-Yo-ing Husband-to-Be. (Duh, I mean--have I not mentioned that fact like three times already? Get with it!) Steve Brown was ALSO the awesomest and dreamiest part of the prom. He bolted out in between bands and fucking HYPNOTIZED the audience with his mad yo-yo skillz. I mean, seriously, I have never been smitten with anyone sheerly for their yo-yo capabilities, but I wanted to marry him after seeing him rock out on the stage. (Sorry, Steve's wife!)

Hopefully someone will post his two performances on youtube at some point, but until then, check out these gems. None of them fully exhibits how extremely bad-ass he was on Saturday. But you can clearly see why he will one day soon be my husband. (Not like I'd ever REALLY do that, Steve's wife. Because I'm not that kind of woman. But you know what I mean. *COUcallmesteveGH*)

Monday, May 19, 2008

To the Preachy Vegan Assholes Who Left a Post-It on My Vegan Bumper-Sticker That Said 'Nice Leather Seats':

When I parked behind your car for the Hessler Street Fair and saw your vegan bumper stickers, my face lit up with that "Yay, a vegan" joyfulness we all feel when we happen to bump into another vegan. When I returned a short while later to see a post-it on my bumper sticker, I thought to myself, "Yay! I bet the vegan put a cute 'Yay, a vegan'-type note on my bumper!" But my geekiness immediately deflated when I saw that it was, of all things, a snarky bullshit note that you had left instead.

First off, my seats are not leather. And if you weren't the kind of judgmental, holier-than-thou prick that gives us vegans a bad name, you might've actually paused for a second to consider that before spewing forth your Hello-Kitty post-it preachiness. I don't wear leather. I don't buy leather. Unfortunately the seats are (apparently) a very convincing faux leather. Which was of course not my goal in BUYING the car. But sometimes, when a used car is in your price range, you try to make the best of the situation. So fuck you.

Secondly, you need a serious vegan posse to round you up and kick your motherf-ing ass. As a vegan, it's hard enough putting up with some meat-eaters' bullshit need to jam their two cents down our throats. We don't need it coming from people who are SUPPOSEDLY ON OUR SIDE. I mean, wtf. The #1 misconception us vegans have to deal with is that we're all preachy. And most of us AREN'T. So it pisses me off to have someone like you reinforcing this bullshit stereotype. And not even by proselytizing to meat-eaters, but by getting all holier-than-thou WITH ANOTHER VEGAN.

I truly hope you happen to be a reader of this blog, because you should be ashamed of yourself, and I am furious at the fact that you didn't leave me the opportunity tell you that to your face. Yes, it bothers me to occasionally see a vegan being inconsistent with their beliefs, mostly because they (unfortunately) stand in as representatives of something I believe in, so when they're NOT being consistent, then it gives ALL us vegans a bad name. BUT 1) I give people the benefit of the doubt. Change does not come through always assuming the worst in people. Change comes from hope. And hope is not rooted in cynicism. And 2) that's where open dialogue comes in. If you see something that you have issues with, you open a dialogue about it. This is how change is brought about--from both parties listening to what each one has to say, from the old 'back-and-forth' exchange of ideas. This is how people educate, change, cause a revolution. The exact opposite, the wrench in the machine, the bullshit rhetoric that turns people's faces to unresponsive stone, is one-sided preachiness.

Do you really think that leaving a snarky note on, say, a meat-eater's car about eating vegan would have even the REMOTEST chance in hell of convincing them to do so? Do you really think they'd read a bitchy note criticizing them and say, "Man, this assholey sarcastic vegan rhetoric sure has got ME convinced, yessirree!" No. All that this bullshit rhetoric does is piss them off and leave them crumpling up the note in their fist and moving on with their day. And rightfully so.

Criticism needs to be constructive. Criticism needs to come in the form of a dialogue. As soon as you get up on the pulpit and start pounding your fists and hollering, you've lost everyone. You really need to rethink your way of addressing the topic of veganism and of how you choose to represent the rest of us vegans.

And even more bothersome to me is that you're standing on your pulpit, banging your fists AT SOMEONE WHO'S ALREADY ON YOUR SIDE. In-fighting only helps make a cause crumble. What the fuck is the point? Vegans get enough crap from everyone else, so why add to it by picking at other vegans just so you can feel like you're one rung higher than everyone else? Hopefully you're not vegan just to make yourself feel more righteous than everyone else, so why use your veganism as a weapon against your own? The only way we can make a change as a community is through unity, not division. As soon as you start sitting around judging people, measuring out whether you're better than someone else just because you eat less cheese, you've missed the point. Fuck yeah, veganism is a good thing. Fuck yeah, meat-eating sucks. But you know what? Most of us were meat-eaters at some point. We're all human. We all err. We all have the capacity to learn and grow. And it surely wasn't a snarky assholey vegan that brought us over to the other side. And it's surely not snarky assholey vegans that will keep us there.

Perhaps this letter sounds preachy as well. I don't mean it to. But you gave me no option of opening a dialogue with you. And my ranting and raving is borne out of a genuine concern, not just some snarky desire to show that I'm better than someone else. And it's borne out of anger, a non-constructive anger that consumed most of my evening yesterday, thanks to you, and which I'm trying to now transform into something useful. I'm not perfect. So I would never DEIGN to snarkily call someone out on their imperfections when I don't know thing one about them. We're all human. We're all imperfect. And none of us likes to be preached at and told that we're wrong and that we're bad people. Because, regardless of who we are and our occasional bad errors in judgment, most of us AREN'T bad people. So seriously: if you want to be useful as a vegan, if you want to actually help MAKE a change, ditch that bullshit rhetoric, dude, and grow up.

Lindy Loo

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Mole Porn

from Veganomicon

(Ok. Not really mole porn. But that should definitely yield for some interesting new google-searches.)

"Since when is eating moles vegan?" Buddddummmm chiiiii.

That, my friends, was my friend QBL's response when I began to go on and on about what a good recipe this is.

She is about as funny as a turnip. YOU HEARD ME, QBL!

Anyways: alas, no one has yet posted the Veganomicon mole recipe, so you won't find it reposted here today. But let me just tell you: it's totally worth tracking down the cookbook just for this recipe. Holy motha.

And I didn't even use the GOOD shit when it came to the a) chocolate and b) chili powder. I used Trader Joe's semi-sweet chocolate chips and shitty 99-cent chili powder. And yet, AND YET, I wanted to fill my bathtub up with this and roll around in it buck-nekkid except for maybe a small hat made out of tortillas. I can only imagine what would've happened if I had splurged and bought some fancy chocolate and some good chipotle chili powder. My nipples probably would've caught fire.

As you can see in the pic above, I served it over blobby, undiscernable items, namely seitan and zucchini, on a bed of quinoa. And man alive was it good.

It's nutty. It's rich. It's got kick. It's got weird texture but in a good way. It's chocolatey. And it's just sexy as fuck. Truly.

Make it. Douse your tacos with it. Douse your stirfried veggies with it. Douse your nekkid significant other with it. It's all good. Trust me.

UPDATE!!! Mole recipe now posted **HERE**!!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Lick Me, I'm Vegan

I didn't cook much this past week, so to distract you from that fact, I bring you the latest edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog."

*Also flashing my boobies as further distraction--Celine, if you fail to compliment them, I will kick your ass*

PS. Somebody SOOOOOOOOO needs to start a blog that's titled after the first search. HOP TO IT.

*Drum roll*

  • lick me i'm vegan

  • how to enhance bloodflow to all parts of the body
    [rub a Lindy Loo all over it--just FYI]

  • badass vegan
    [hells yes]

  • hummus makes me shit

  • chocolate ice cream shit sex

  • which type of coffee induces the biggest shit?

  • foods that make your shit stink tomato

  • crispy treats

  • ocd and fainting and a vegan

  • shit dumpling

  • extracting shit of sexy girls before anal sex

  • can milk bring your shroom high down

  • cayenne pepper eyelid twitch

  • cookie masturbation

  • baby shit in french

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Day the Grocery-Store Clerk Didn't Get Laid, or "A Tale of a Misguided Conversation, and Also Vincent Price Quesadillas"

Last weekend, I was at the grocery store, getting my groceries rung out. And of course I had a handful of garlic-stuffed olives in my basket (since they are my newest fetish, for those of you who haven't been keeping up). Anyways, the grocery-store clerk ringing me out was a skittish young boy who spent the time trying to flirtatiously chat me up, until he said the following words:

CLERK: Just 5 olives?

ME: Pardon?

CLERK: You're only getting 5 olives?

ME: Yep.

CLERK: Did you know that just ONE olive has all of your salt for the day?

ME: What?

CLERK: Olives. Just one of them provides 100% of your salt for the day.

*A slow tear rolls its way dramatically down my cheek as my love affair with the garlic-stuffed olives is basked in a not-so-forgiving light*

*The clerk awkwardly resumes his bagging*

*A tumbleweed rolls through the grocery-store clerk's sex life*

A moment of silence for the end of my love-affair with garlic-stuffed olives.

In other news, a half-assed, snackalicious recipe...

Cleary, quesadillas aren't real photogenic.

In fact, if I hadn't told you this was a quesadilla, you probably wouldn't know wtf it actually is. It conceivably could be pancakes with a smushy-inner-layer. It could be a really flat sandwich. It could be Vincent Price in hiding. It's really hard to say.

Nonethless, I whipped these up one day when I was studying my ass off and needed a break.

They're nothing particularly magical, mostly a quick-fix when you need something slightly greasy. But I thought they were yum.

  • 4 taco-sized tortillas

  • 1/2 of a 15-oz can of black beans, drained and mashed with a fork

  • 1 ripe avocado, peeled and diced

  • Diced fresh tomatoes, 1/3 to 1/2 c.

  • Salsa or hot sauce to dip

  • Vegetable oil


Smash your avocado into your bean mix until you have a sticky, gluey (but slightly chunky) mixture. Take a tortilla and slather your bean/avocado mix on it thickly, leaving room around the edges to seal it (or not--as you can see, mine aren't sealed real well... the bean/avocado mix is sticky enough to keep them togehter). Smoosh another tortilla over it and seal the edges as much as possible by dampening them with a tiny bit of water and smooshing them together.

Repeat with your second set of tortillas.

Heat up some veggie oil in a skillet until hot. (I used maybe 1 T. since I don't like stuff real greasy.) Toss your quesadilla on it and grill one side until starting to brown. Flip. Remove after second side browns up nicely. Slice into quarters or halves. Repeat.

Chow down with some salsa or hot sauce.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Spicy Peanut Noodles

                                     from The Vegetarian Times

This recipe ain't really nothing special, but it made for decent lunches all week.

Plus, it looks perty.

So here.

Oh, and I made substitutions. They're asterisked. If you want to see the originals, click on the VegTimes link at the end.

  • 8 oz. fettucine (b/c apparently I see no difference between fettucine and linguine--I'm noodle-blind)*

  • 1/3 c. low-fat (or non low-fat) creamy peanut butter

  • 2 T. low-sodium soy sauce

  • 1.5 Tbs. white vinegar*

  • 1 t. chile sauce with garlic*

  • 1/2 t. sugar

  • 1 medium-size red bell pepper, cut into thin strips

  • 3/4 cup chopped seeded cucumber

  • 3 green onions, sliced diagonally into 1/4-inch pieces (about 1/4 cup)

  • 2 T. chopped cilantro

  • 4 lime wedges, optional

  • Water (I didn't end up using any of this and only just noticed it in the recipe, but you may wanna use some to thin your sauce out)*


Cook linguine according to package directions.

Meanwhile, combine peanut butter, soy sauce, vinegar, chile paste and sugar in large bowl; whisk until blended. If sauce seems too thick, thin it with a little water; it should have the consistency of cream.

Add linguine, bell pepper, cucumber and green onions, and toss well. Sprinkle with cilantro. Serve with lime wedges, if desired.

(from The Vegetarian Times)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Penne with Beer-Stewed Artichoke Hearts

                                     from Christina Cooks

(This ain't the most thrilling of food pics,
but if you bust out your beer goggles to look at it
you'll definitely find it much more attractive.)

Ok. So what could possibly make for a better dinner than a nicely hopped mug o' dark beer accompanied by a nice hearty bowl of pasta? Hmmm. How about a nicely hopped mug o' dark beer IN your nice hearty bowl of pasta?!?


Seriously: how brilliant is this recipe? Artichokes and red onions stewed in your favorite dark beer and served over pasta.

Brilliant, I say. AND it's simple to boot.

The only change I would make with this recipe is to use a larger jar of artichokes (which I just realized is kind of funny because the on-line version of the recipe CALLS for a large jar of artichoke hearts--the cookbook calls for a 8-oz. one--so basically it looks like I'm saying to you, "A large jar of artichokes? NAY! You must use a HUMAN-SIZED JAR OF ARTICHOKES TO MAKE THIS DISH COMPLETE!!!!").

Anyways, I used the recommended size (which, like I said, was an 8-oz. jar in the book), and most of the time I found myself thinking, where the f- are the artichokes? Did the beer eat them? IS GREAT LAKES BEER ARTICHOKE-CANNIBALISTIC BEER? (I'm sure Great Lakes Brewery wouldn't appreciate such claims.) So yeah. Use a big ol' jar of 'em when you make this.

I also couldn't find arugula at the market, if you can believe it. So I used a "spring mix." Worked well. If you can find just straight arugula (instead of the flaming kind--buddummm chiii), then I'd just stick with that.

All in all, this is a fun dish to whip up. It won't blow your mind or give you multiple orgasms or anything. But it's definitely tasty. And, seriously peeps, you get to cook with beer. So even if it tastes like poop covered in poop dipped in poop and then rolled in finely-chopped poop, you get to cook with beer (and you'll be too drunk to notice anyways), so stop complaining.


  • extra virgin olive oil

  • 2-3 cloves fresh garlic, thinly sliced

  • 1 red onion, thin half moon slices

  • generous pinch red pepper flakes

  • sea salt

  • 1 large jar artichoke hearts (in oil), drained well, oil reserved--think 12-16 oz.

  • 1 bottle dark beer

  • 10 ounces penne

  • 1 small bunch arugula, rinsed well

  • balsamic vinegar

  • 1/2 ripe tomato, diced, do not peel or seed


Place a small amount of oil, garlic and onion in a deep skillet and turn heat to medium. When the onions begin to sizzle, add red pepper flakes and a pinch of salt and saute until onions are quite soft and beginning to brown, 5-6 minutes.

Stir in artichoke hearts, a pinch of salt and the beer. Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, season lightly with salt and cook for 15 minutes.

While the artichokes cook, bring a pot of water to a boil and cook penne al dente. Drain well, but do not rinse. Toss the penne with a small amount of the reserved artichoke oil.

When the artichokes are ready, finely shred the arugula and add to the skillet. Remove from heat and stir gently to incorporate the arugula into the artichokes. Fold in the penne, with a light sprinkle of balsamic vinegar and transfer to a serving platter.

Serve garnished with diced tomato.

Makes 4-6 servings.

(from the Christina Cooks cookbook, and posted on-line at Christina

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

A Trinity of Mundanenesses

The Story

I have this friend C at school. I refer to her as my girl-crush because I absolutely dig the shit out of her in such a way that I alternately want to be her and want to makeout with her. She is wicked cute, has a terrible potty-mouth, and has a wonderfully ridiculous but gruff sense of humor. Whenever we happen to eat lunch together, she's always apologizing for eating meat/fish-stuff around me, which I think is sweet (though unnecessary). I think she finds my veganism kooky but intriguing.

Anyways, a couple weeks ago, we're coming in from a smoke-break together, and there's this fat black ant inside the doorway. C promptly squishes it with her shoe. I reflexively blurt "Awww! What'd you do that for??" Immediately, C apologizes to me. "Oh man. I'm sorry. I just thought it probably shouldn't be inside..." I know she feels bad, so in return, I jokingly say, "Way to be mean."

A few weeks go by. I've completely forgotten about the incident. On Monday, we're outside smoking again. She says to me, "Oh hey. I thought of you the other day. I went outside and my son was smooshing ants. So I said, Hey, what're you doing? And he was like, What, mommy? And I told him, Don't smash those ants. They're just trying to get home to their mommies. And he said, They're lost? And I said, Yeah, honey. They're lost. So you should be nice to them." How fricking boss is that?

*Girl-crush ho!*

The Picture

Sometimes I'm not in the mood to ramble wittily/sexily/droolingly/evilly/awesomely/suspiciously about food. So I've decided that, for shits and giggles (and to keep people reading, even when I'm not so much in the mood to write), I'm going to occasionally post a picture of a certain aspect of my life and/or living space.

Today is one such day, so I post the first installment.

This is my wall of camp:

(You can click on the pic
to get a better look at the postcards)

It is located in my kitchen.

It began with the metal poster you see in the middle which I bought about five years ago. Then people began to send me campy postcards when they'd stumble across them. My sister got me the Flying Eyes one. The Lantzer got me Satan was a Lesbian. (Which is, of course, biographical nonfiction.) I nabbed a few myself. And the crowning glory was courtesy of my friend P: Naked on Roller Skates. One day, I was sitting in my kitchen, and I thought to myself, Damn. My wall of camp needs ONE more postcard to fill up that stupid empty space and make it symmetrical. I'll have to look around for one this weekend. Next day: Naked on Roller Skates showed up in my mailbox. Talk about cosmic/psychic powers.

The Shitty Sandwich

This was a delicious amazing sandwich in theory (nayo, roasted garlic, winter pesto, fresh basil, and tomatoes), but somehow ended up tasting just really kind of boring. It was nonetheless photogenic, so I share that at least.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Quinoa Salad with Black Beans and Sweet Potatoes

                                     from the PPK Forum

Sometimes I think that the limes I buy at the WSM have secretly been pumped with sulfuric acid. Now, I know I know: limes are highly acidic. A lot of people's mouths reactly strongly to them. Blah blah blah. But nonetheless, I still believe that the ones I bought this weekend were highly sulfuric. Reason being, I used them on this (extremely delish, springy, and simple) salad dish, and EVERY time I ate it all week, it felt like the insides of my mouth were rotting out. Kind of like the inside of my mouth were one of the nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark:

You say: That's the norm for limes.

I say: Sulfuric acid.

You say: Not sulfuric acid.

I say: The melting of inner mouth-Nazis.

You say: Fine. Sulfuric acid.

I say: Booyah. I win.

Nonetheless, I really did dig this dish. It was delightful, tangy, sunshiney, sweet, and chock full of protein (hurray for quinoa). And it's a simple dish to whip up. I made a double-batch and it's lasted me all week.

The inside of my cheeks are not pleased.

But the rest of me sure is.

  • 1 c. quinoa

  • 1-2 T. olive oil

  • 1 large sweet potato, peeled and diced

  • 2 scallions, thinly sliced

  • 1/2 t. dried red chile flakes

  • 2 c. water

  • Salt, to taste

  • 1 sm. can black beans, drained and thoroughly rinsed

  • Juice of 2 limes

  • 1/4 c. chopped fresh cilantro


Rinse quinoa. Heat oil over medium-high heat in a medium skillet (be sure you have a tight-fitting lid for the skillet). Add sweet potato, scallion, and chile and saute until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add quinoa; toast for 2 minutes. Add water and salt.

Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium low, and cover. Simmer until quinoa and sweet potato are tender, about 10 to 12 minutes. If liquid remains unabsorbed in the pan, raise heat to high and cook for 2 minutes until it boils off. (Mine was more moist than I would've liked, so I would probably use a tad bit less water next time. But it still was damn good regardless.)

Stir in black beans and lime juice and cilantro.

Serve warm or chilled.

(original recipe posted on the PPK Forums)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Question of the Month!

New question of the month, since Bazu went and ruined this past question with her lameness. OH SMACK!

Check it in the sidebar. Word to your mother's father's brothah.

Lower-Fat Banana Bread

                         from Veganomicon

Let's just say that I think I ate FOUR slices of this on Tuesday. Not one. Not two. Not three. But four. (Technically, I lost count after two, but I think that might've just been because I was so horrified with myself that I suppressed any and all information relevant to the disgusting quantity of banana bread I'd just consumed.)

Needless to say, I really really liked this recipe. I ended up only using 2 smaller bananas, but it was WONDERFULLY moist and flavorful. And I added in semi-sweet chocolate chips (which of course de-lower-fattened it, but I'm sorry--chocolate and bananas rock the hell OUT).

I have to say, despite past Veganomicon failures, as a cookbook, it is an undeniable score in the way of dessert recipes. The ones I've made thus far have been definite favs.

And banana bread? Well, I always associate it with old ladies and saggy granny-panties and powdery-smelling wigs and slightly moth-bally aprons. (Which, yes, is probably slightly judgmental on my part. But SUCK IT.) But THIS banana bread, well, it was all shiny motorcycles and bouncing through the air on a trampoline and skinny-dipping and tattoos. (Yes, I am ALSO puzzled by what my brain just came up with as the antithesis of old-ladyishness. But again: SUCK IT.) So yeah: try it. You'll like it.

Oh, and a random shout out to What the Hell Does a Pinkhaired Girl Eat? I dig how she labels her pics, SO I'M PLAGIARIZING IT! All in love, babies. All in love. (Now go check out her blog.)

  • 2 large or 3 small very ripe bananas (I used only 2 small and it still came out fine)

  • 1/4 c. applesauce

  • 1/4 c. canola oil

  • 1/2 c. sugar

  • 2 T. molasses

  • 2 c. all-purpose flour

  • 3/4 t. baking soda

  • 1 t. ground cinnamon

  • 1/4 t. ground nutmeg

  • 1/2 t. salt

  • Semi-sweet chocolate chips (I probably used 1/2 c. maybe? I didn't measure it)


Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease a 9x5 loaf pan (or muffin tins)

In a large mixing bowl, mash the bananas really well. Add sugar, applesauce, oil, and molasses, and whisk briskly to incorporate.

Sift in the flour, baking soda, spices, salt. Use a wooden spoon to mix until the wet/dry ingredients are just combined. Fold in chocolate chips/nuts if using.

Transfer batter to prepared pan and bake for 45-50 min. The top should be lightly browned and a knife inserted should be clean.

Remove from oven and invert onto a cooling rack. Flip right side up and cool.

Note: If making muffins, cook for 18 minutes!

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted HERE)