The Newest Edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

Or,

"Let's Make Fun of Stupid People for Being Stupid and Also Gross!"

With brilliant commentary by the brilliant Lindy Loo who is also awesome and apparently brilliant.

• girls shits in cake mixture



• asses shitting free movie tube [In today's faltering economy, these really ARE the kinds of asses you want to know.]



• why are vegetarians such assholes [because we have to deal with fucktards like you asking fucktarded questions like this one, fucktard]



• Teen ass tube



• rose ass tube



• Moms ass tube



• hot mama



• how to lick your lips seductively [You have surely come to the wrong place for answers to that. *Drooling profusely from my fat drool-mouth*]



• eat my ass tube [No thank you. I just had a big lunch.]



• Heart Attack Balls



• When the shit hit the pan



• 3 cups and shit



• Where does the name lindy loo come



• Lentils make my shit green [Congrats, dude!]



• Vegetable facking [clearly not getting laid because (s)he can't spell]



• Nippules pic [probably has never seen a nipple in real life. Or excuse me: "nippule"]



• Pleasantly plump pussy [aww yeah to alliteration]



• Freddie prinze [Freddie Prinze: Rocking the vegan ass tube circuit.]



• Vegan jumbo mac n cheese [hell, *I* now want to see the jumboiest mac n cheese too, dammit! I hope it's like 6'5" and manly!]



• Eating shit directly from ass [Fuck utensils! Just dig in!]

(For past editions, click HERE)

Also...

Someone just stumbled across my blog by googling "you are very nice", which I just had to mention since it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and kind of counteracts the overabundance of "ass tubes."

March Edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

(For past editions, click HERE)

• Jamie lee Curtis hairy pits


• Theres shit in our meat


• pictures of teens loosing her veganity showing blood


• licking secret parts


• the mother fuck


• shitty ass lick


• best interesting ass tubes


• bizarre tube


• ass liking tube


• ass licking tube


• big ass tube


• erotic ass tube


• eating ass tube


• Licking ass tube


• Ass fuck tube


• Mom ass tube


• Free ass tube


• Ass tube


• ASS TUBE


• Small ass tube


• Shit tubes


• Girls doing shit from their ass in loo


• fuucking in vegetable


• Easy mac is shit


• Shit on My Face


• Shepherds pie is some shit


• Pussy numblies


• Lesbian shit cup


• Shit vegetarian recipes real shit


• Funcking vegetables


• Shit swirl


• Bored as shit


• Wine lick body


• Freddie prinze

Bizzare Ass Tube: The Newest Edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

Why oh why I stayed up to watch the entirety of the Oscars when I knew Slumdog Millionaire was gonna sweep 'em all I'm not quite sure, but now that I'm riding on only 4-ish hours of sleep and fluctuating between wanting to giggle at everything and wanting to punch some lady in the face who, after I said good morning to her, inexplicably stared at my shoes with a disgusted-looking face, I'm thinking it probably wasn't the best idea.

Even more amusing is that I went over my mom's to watch it because she was all excited that one of our favorite actors--Philip Seymour Hoffman--was up for best actor again. So it's like 11:30, and my brother and I are bitching about how EVERY YEAR the stupid Oscars go ridiculously long, (sidenote rant: WTF was with them NOT SHOWING THE MOVIE CLIPS for all the big categories?!? Seriously: probably like 50% of the population hasn't seen some of the films that the actors/actresses are up for, and that's when we rely on the clips to understand whether they did a decent job or not, f-ing morons), and they finally bust out the best actor category, and Philip SEYMOUR HOFFMAN ISN'T EVEN NOMINATED. My brother and I laughed our asses off.


Winner of Best Actor in the Oscar of Confused Moms

Anyways, the point of all that was that I really don't have a point but am tired.

So no food today. No wit. No recipes.

Instead, google searches. As always, they speak for themselves.

Enjoy.

(For past editions, click HERE)

PS. Apparently lovers of bizarre sexual fetishes really need to learn to spell better.

• cat bed from days of yore


• vegan fuck vegetarians assholes


• how to seductively lick your lips


• bizzare ass tube


• make it by the book because that's the way you make it get down bitch


• mexican trumpets fanfare


• baked beans toot


• bored as shit


• fucking pizza


• shit on the pussy


• mole ten porn


• yeah that vegan hsit


• ass shit licking bizar moves


• pain in the goozy


• fucking with vegitable


• shitt licking


• recipe for greatness


• vegan ass licking


• cauliflower penis


• beautiful orgasmy


• erotic third nipple


• shit omelette


• raspberry stomach ache


• shitpeas


• eating candles


• vegan shit chowder


• blue potatoes feces


• authentic Italian my ass you've got thirty mexicans in the kitchen

Oh, I *did* make a spinach-artichoke dip for the Oscars, so stay tuned this week for the recipe. 'Cause it was fricking YUM.

This Edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog" Is Attacked By Confusing Grammar

Today's edition--mainly due to unclear grammar--has left us with many unanswered questions. Join us in answering them, won't you?


Two cooks in one pussy

Questions:

1. How big is this pussy that it can hold not one but TWO cooks?


2. What are they DOING there?

Man hairy ass eating sleuths

Questions:

1. Are the sleuths hairy and ass-eating?


2. Or is the ass hairy and enjoying a nice meal of sleuths?

The world... pretty shit

Questions:

1. Is this a glass-half-full statement? (The world=full of pretty things)


2. Or is this a glass-half-empty statement? (The world=shit)

Shit balls recipe

Questions:

1. Is this asking for a recipe that will CAUSE you to shit balls?


2. Or is this asking for a recipe FOR shit balls?


3. If #2, are shit balls like meat balls but, well, clearly using things other than meat as the main ingredients?

Girls get bummed and then shit

Questions:

1. Does bummed mean screwed?


2. Or does bummed mean depressed?


3. If the latter of the two, does the shitting help with the depression?

Shit finger tube

Questions:

1. Is this an attempt to find a tube in which to store one's shit finger?


2. Or is this person curious about why they shat a finger-tube?


3. If #1, what exactly IS a shit-finger?


4. If #2, what exactly IS a finger-tube?

Swedish Mole Porn

Questions:

1. Are the moles Swedish?


2. Or is it the porn that's Swedish?


3. Are they referring to animal moles?


4. Or are they referring to skin moles?


5. How does one make either pornographic?


6. If #1: Do they speak with a Swedish accent?


7. If #2: What makes a porn characteristically Swedish?

(For past editions, click HERE)

"The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog": Resuscitated!

(For past editions, click HERE)

So just the other day, I was bemoaning the fact that the wild and fascinating plethora of strange google searches that bring people to this blog has dropped off drastically. And it was starting to bum me out a wee bit. I mean, how could you NOT get bummed out when you haven't seen a good "orange oily feces" search in months??

But then: this morning, I log onto the computer, and suddenly, it's like X-mas all over again! Not one ridiculous search, but handfuls!

So enjoy!

And God bless us, every one!

• shit licking sex


• insides of a butt


• vegan shitting my brains out


• shits New Year resolution


• This is my favorite shit


• vomit on her basil says

And these two are contenders for my all-time favorites, as they were both googled WITHIN THE SAME HOUR and BY TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE (who apparently abide by the misguided belief that they are, indeed, the shit and that the internet can verify this for them):

• yeah im the shit yeah am shit up in this bitch


• cause i'm the shit yeah i'm the shit

"The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog" Has Clubfoot

I haven't posted a new edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog" in quite some time, nearly two months to be exact. Sadly, this is because all you readers are apparently stumbling across my blog through NORMAL, non-pervy, non-oily-feced means. And although that's probably a GOOD thing... a JOYOUS thing... Etc., I've kind of been jonesing for some really tawdry google searches. I mean, the most interesting search I've seen in the past couple months was "seitan is bad." Boo. And that's not even FUNNY. Or INTERESTING. Clearly the fact that I actually took the time to write that one down is just an indication of how hard-up I am.

Then--thankfully--today, I stumbled across this little google-search, and although it isn't scatological, it DID cute me up for a second. Mostly 'cause I have no clue wtf this would've brought up on my blog:

• "Volcanoes--how you make them start"

Let us hope it is a sign that the google-times, they are a-changing.

"The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog", Edition 272.343

So I dug VeganMofo, and although I wasn't able to post 5 days a week, I *DID* post 25 times for the month, so TAKE THAT.

However, although VeganMofo DID bump my readership up by like 250+ or so, it also effectively managed to kill all entertaining google searches for the month.

Lucky for you all, I have some leftovers from the last time I posted my google-searches.

So enjoy.

• you fucken vegetable


• my brownies didn't cook all the way


• fucking cool vegetarian recipes


• fucking pizza


• Franny and Zooey Liz Phair fuck and run


• refried shit


• yeah that vegan crap


• loo shit eating sex


• mark twain bourbon


• sexy man licking lips


• bean curd bizarre


• vegan leatherface


• homemade topless


• feasting ass


• shit on head porn


• Mexican chocolate is sweet


• shit cake pan


• sentences using benign


• image of testicle licking

(For past editions, click HERE)

Yeah That Vegan Crap

Firstly, I'm trying this VeganMoFo thing out this year, but I hate staring at the banner on each entry, so first things first: It's over yonder in the sidebar, bitches. Deal.

Secondly, what's most exciting to me about VeganMoFo is that I'm guaranteed to have more blogs to read throughout the day when I'm feeling so bored that I have the urge to stab myself in the eye with the office scissors. Which happens more frequently than most of us would like to think.

Thirdly, I will post every day I'm able (though I can't guarantee 20 posts this month, simply because some of us don't have computer access more than 4 days a week, so unless you want to buy me a computer--which I will gladly accept and lay nekkid with in my bed and pet like a little toy poodle--you'll have to deal with 4 days a week). ((Somewhere my parenthesis went horribly awry, and now I don't) know where ) to begin( or end them *sob)bing*).)) If I can bring myself to do it though, I will try to post 5 times in 4 days, just to keep the powers that be happy.

Fourthly, your mom.

Fifthly, I just happened across THIS BLOG and I think I wanna rip off all her clothes. Not in a pervy way, but because HER CLOTHES ARE THE CUTEST. Though I guess if an accidental clotheless makeout session took place, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Sixthly, it seems fitting to begin VeganMoFo with a tawdry, randy new list of The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog (click HERE for previous installments). Especially since the list has accumulated dramatically (and disturbingly) in a very short time.

This month, I offer you google searches in the form of a Q&A session between three stoned people, one of whom has Tourette's. We'll see if you can pick out which one that is.

DUDE #1: Why are vegans so thin?

DUDE #2: SPREADABLE MEAT. Chocolate covered banana shit. Chocolate turns your shit green. Tuna casserole tastes like shit. Picking peanuts out of shit. Expired tofu vomit.

TOURETTES DUDE: Motherfuck.

DUDE #1: Sexy parts of the body to lick?

DUDE #2: Hot dress ass.

TOURETTES DUDE: Mother fuck!

DUDE #1: Carol J. Adams will speak about her forthcoming book How to Eat Like a Vegetarian Even If You Never Want to Be One?

DUDE #2: Pussy licious!

TOURETTES DUDE: Vegetable fucking! Vegetable fucking ass!

DUDE #1: Cool vegans?

DUDE #2: Women eating shit porns. Women eating shit then having sex.

TOURETTES DUDE: Veganism is shit!

DUDE #1: Yeah i sometimes think things like that.

DUDE #2: I'm banging a vegan.

DUDE #1: Made little sister eat my shit.

TOURETTES DUDE: Motherfuck!

More "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

(For past editions, click HERE)

First off: I must briefly note that it is one of the more seemingly benign google searches below that made me laugh quite a bit this past week. The google search being "yes, that vegan shit". Why, you ask? Because each time I see it, I totally picture one of my grammar-nerd friends trying to track down my blog despite the fact that they are COMPLETELY embittered by my slanginess and uneloquent use of the english language, and thus, making a statement by correcting the Yeah and making GODDAMN SURE they put that motherf-ing comma in there. Tee hee.

Secondly: Learn to spell, motherfuckers. Perhaps you wouldn't keep ending up at some creepy lady's oily-feces-laden vegan page if you figured out how to spell, say, VEGAN. (Ok, probably not the best example, 'cause you STILL might end up here. But nonetheless: VEGEN and VAGAN: incorrect!)

Thirdly: Seriously, I do NOT get what exactly is going through people's heads when they run google searches.

Case in point: someone found this blog googling "i'm not taking anyone's shit." Now. Please tell me. What does a person hope to find when they type that into the google search engine? Or were they not expecting to find anything but just SO angry at the end of their day (having gotten their lunch money stolen, then tripping down the stairs while their 9th grade crush laugh at them, farting in class, and then having the class bully give them a super-wedgie) that when they sat down to google what every high school boy googles (aka. porn), they instead found themselves, to their own horror, subconsciously typing the above google search? Please. I need to know.

I mean, I understand "male vegetarian no sex drive zinc." Weird search perhaps, but logical.

But then again: "I took a shit in your kitchen." Well, thank you for telling me? I've been wondering what that stink was for the past 8 days? I thought maybe one of my neighbors had gotten stuck in the chimney and died? Again: what makes a person, sitting leisurely in front of their computer, decide to google this. And WHAT IS IT THEY EXPECT TO FIND IN THE RESULTS??!? I think this is even moreso what I want--nay NEED--to know.

Again: "Hungarian ass." Gotcha.

"Bitches eating shit." We're on the same page, buddy. Not my cup of tea, perhaps, but I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

"Cauliflower penis." Well, I've gotta admit. Back in the days of yore, when our Phys Ed teacher with the obligatory short feathered hair used to do the whole "condom over the banana" deal, I used to be both horrified and yet HYPNOTIZED by the horror story of the "cauliflower penis." So yeah, you had me at cauli.

"The buggets clits." Ummmmm, starting to lose me a little. But I'm ok with assuming that you were just overly excited about seeing pictures of really big clits and typoed a U instead of an I and switched up the T and S.

But "that a shit on her"? What does that even mean? I'll even give you the benefit of the doubt, dude, and assume you mean "that I shit on her"? But even then, I'm at a loss. Not even a complete sentence, much less a complete thought.

AND YET, even MORE crazily, somehow each one of these individuals yielded search results with their google searches, and somehow MY vegan food blog was among the results, and somehow each of these individual's curiosity was piqued by SOMETHING amidst the vegan rambling here, and somehow, for some reason, god bless 'em, every one, they decided to actually CLICK on the link and check this page out.

And for that, I say, Rock on, Nonsensical Google Searchers. All criticisms aside, I hope, in my heart of hearts, that after you took the time to stop by this blog, you DID stop taking other people's shit, found the buggets clits, and figured out what are quinoas.

• hungarian ass


• shit into her


• quinia shit


• peanut libido


• male vegetarian no sex drive zinc


• CUP TEA WOMAN EAT SHIT


• the buggets clits


• BITCHES EATING SHIT


• I took a shit in your kitchen


• it is my prerogative vegan


• vegan assholes


• yes, that vegan shit


• skinny bitches with long dicks


• porno shit and vomit


• what bowels to expect as a vegen


• what does a dirty hippy bring to a barbeque


• what are quinoas


• soy milk cause baby to vomit


• cauliflower penis


• shit on my head porn


• that a shit on her


• i'm not taking anyone's shit

This Week in "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

What can we learn from this week's searches? That there is something to be said about being able to actually spell.

• at least i'm not a vegetarian


• USING VAGAN FINGER


• vegetarian resturans cleavland


• vegan bbq recipes suck


• mole porn [TWICE this search has popped up]


• vegan shit smells


• red pepper makes me shit


• shit shorts


• shit international


• corn shit


• pouring water on your pussy


• kidney treatment apple moot


• onions make me shit


• sexy strawberry and whip cream pics

(For past editions, click HERE)

The Latest in "The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

(For previous editions: click HERE.)

I think this first one may be my all-time favorite, mostly just because I picture some dude awkwardly clunking away at his keyboard with hands the size of small Buicks, desperately trying to figure out why, god why...

• what is in cheap hotdogs that would make your hands swell


• why did my banana bread cook up like foam to the touch and not brown


• history of the angel hair with cherry tomatoes and basil was invented


• what is a vegan dessert that tastes like real food


• vegetarian commercial shit cow


• eating the testicles of man


• pumpkin libido


• is oily feces bad


• husband eats shit


• vegans get higher off weed


• oily feces and sushi


• fuck vegans


• no testicles

Lick Me, I'm Vegan

I didn't cook much this past week, so to distract you from that fact, I bring you the latest edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog."

*Also flashing my boobies as further distraction--Celine, if you fail to compliment them, I will kick your ass*

PS. Somebody SOOOOOOOOO needs to start a blog that's titled after the first search. HOP TO IT.

*Drum roll*

• lick me i'm vegan


• how to enhance bloodflow to all parts of the body
  [rub a Lindy Loo all over it--just FYI]


• badass vegan
  [hells yes]


• hummus makes me shit


• chocolate ice cream shit sex


• which type of coffee induces the biggest shit?


• foods that make your shit stink tomato


• crispy treats


• ocd and fainting and a vegan


• shit dumpling


• extracting shit of sexy girls before anal sex


• can milk bring your shroom high down


• cayenne pepper eyelid twitch


• cookie masturbation


• baby shit in french

It's Poetry--Knock It Back

For this edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog," I've turned the searches into a poem. A crass poem that doesn't flow quite so wonderfully as my other poems usually flow. But something akin to the poem that Lisa wrote for Moe in that one episode of the Simpsons.

Each line represents its own google search-phrase...


    vegan food tastes like

sexy bitches cook vegan
        1 pussy 3 cups

vegetarian pussy tastes
hot like your ass in that dress

vegan sex drive
        [men eating shit cream pie]
        [vegans suck ass
        stretch clit]

vegan is shit
that was shit
shit in a cup sex
i could shit
this shit is no my shit
homemade topless pictures
licking body all over
body licking sex
shit licking
shit licking
shit licking

        foods make pussy taste good

what happened to nectar nuggets?

porangey

More of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog" and Lindy Loo Presses Her Luck with Expiration Dates

A list of new gems for your reading pleasure. (For older gems, click HERE)

• shit in water p0rn


• pulses lentile beans and libido


• can tomato skins show up in feces


• cheap vegan blog [oh hell YES i'm cheap, babies--*flashing my garter at you while twirling my fake-feather boa*]


• vegans are nasty [see "cheap vegan blog"]


• pesto problems


• shit on my shoe p0rn


• p0rn shit in cup


• why is boston cream pie called pie instead of cake


• garlic jims vegetarian ingredients


• shit creampie


• whores in platform shoe [ha ha ha--how this brought someone to my page, I'll never quite know]


• pussy taste like avocado [if THAT was true, then I'd TOTALLY be lesbianing it up]

So last week, after reading about The Vegan Ronin's General Tso's Tofu, I decided to splurge and use some of my Giant Eagle gift card on the Iron Chef brand General Tso's sauce (and, of course, beer). I then went home and whipped up a stirfry using the vegan "lamb" that's been sitting in my freezer for months.



Upon busting out the vegan "lamb," I noticed that it had expired about a month prior. But since I like to live dangerously (*whipping out my nipple clamps and bright blue 1970s roller skates*), I decided that I'd eat it anyways. (Granted, this probably explains why I felt like I was going to die that weekend, which I mostly attribute to the "hamburger" casserole I made, though I'm sure the chinese toxins in my expired bean curd didn't help.) And although I don't really have a recipe to share--it was basically just broccoli, onions, and vegan "lamb" stirfried in sesame oil and General Tso's sauce, over some angel hair--I've got to tell you this: If you have access to vegan "lamb," holy crap buy it. Because it was like the BEST stuff I've ever had from the Asian market. I love their gong bao "chicken", but this was LEAPS AND BOUNDS better: delicate layers of bean curd that just absolutely melt in your mouth when you bite into them. And the fact that I loved it so much despite it being a month over the expiration should encourage you to seriously consider the gravity of my recommendation. So good.

I'm not sure where I was going with all that.

But yes:

Vegan "lamb"--rocks.

Iron Chef's brand General Tso's sauce--also quite good.

The Vegan Ronin's new fricking Vegan Chocolate Shoppe through etsy's--abrupt change in subject, but also TOTALLY kick=ass!

How cute are these tuxedo pretzels?!? I mean, SERIOUSLY!



Go buy stuff from her. NOW!

37th Edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

Due to the fact that I forgot to bring pics for my recipes today, I instead bring you the most recent edition of The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog. Enjoy that meat loaf penis!

• meat loaf penis


• vegan vaginas smell better


• the original shit cup girls


• red wine red shit


• salads and stinking shit


• my brother eat my shit


• cyborg monocle [I really need to track this person down, seeing as they are clearly my soulmate]


• shit chocolate sex


• rice krispie jesus


• quinoa pussy


• vegan erotic


• shit shite pics


• shits feel so good


• cool love shits


• fat ass in a dress

Back from the Dead

Like zombies back from the grave, stinking like feces and maggots (mmmmm, yum), fingernails all dirty from climbing through dirt to bring themselves back into the world, with a hunger for human flesh (or, in our case, VEGAN human flesh), so comes the return of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog." May we embrace it with excitement, in all its shit-related glory.

• does my hair stink like feces


• babies and syrup


• kielbasa deep throat champion


• blender cerberus


• how to make your shit smell better


• shit cake


• 2 cups shit


• DADDY MAC'LL MAKE YOU JUMP


• what does squirrel shit look like [twice--I sense urgency here]


• vegan versus normal cookies calories [because vegan is clearly abnormal]


• shit belly


• woman shits into cup


• thai shit


• black feces from olives


• recipe for bitches and hoes

This is the End...

(Such a hottie he was--*sigh*
I need to write me up a dead-people harem or something)

Though I am very pleased to have the increased traffic, I am sad to say that getting a spot on Blog of Note has effectively killed off future editions of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog."

*TEAR*

Let us hope that a few months from now, site-traffic will calm down some, and Google Searches will rise back up from the dead, kinda crusty and stank, lurching around with some fresh new "orange oily feces" searches, or maybe, just maybe, one for "onion taste nipple."

Until then, I bring to you...

THE FINAL EDITION OF

***THE MOST BIZARRE GOOGLE SEARCHES BY WHICH PEOPLE STUMBLE ACROSS THIS BLOG!***

*cuing soldiers in uniform playing taps*

• laurens shit


• veggie burger recipe sunflower seeds where money
  [I like this one because it seems like the google search is being all nice and whistling and friendly and then suddenly whips out a gun and demands that I hand over all my cash]


• orange looking greasy feces from taking alli


• shit cake picture


• vegetarian poo weird


• sweet potato queens cat shit cookies


• quinoa poo


• blue shit


• onion taste nipple
  [YUM! *blorf*]


• half assed vegan


• shit pads paper


• lovers of shit


• vegan freaks annoying


• nipple pinching pics


• potatoes sex


• what does bat feces smell like
  [Lindy Loo's answer: like feces]


• eat poo shit pics


• vegans smell
  [except if we have anosmia, my friend--case in point, my buddy PTB--shout out to the PTB!]


• olives in feces


• peppers shit yeah
  [I appreciate your enthusiasm--I sure do like me some peppers too]


• sexy black bean


• shit lovers


• picture of bear feces


• numblies


• bizarre eat shit


• carrots orange poop


• shit pasta


• shite an onions recepe


• gnocchi is sticky


• orange poo blog
  [hee hee--be still my heart]

The Mini-6th edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog"

Random introductory sidenote of random introductoriness unrelated to anything google-ish:

Fritos are like the seed of the devil. I am so addicted to them. I eat them, and then I loathe myself for doing so, as they are the greasy, slippery-shit-inducing, corn-lubed chips of Satan himself.

Damn you, Fritos.

/Random introductory sidenote of random introductoriness unrelated to anything google-ish

Anyways, I haven't tossed out a google-search update lately, in all it's feces-related glory, but that's mostly just because I haven't been paying much attention to them as of late, due to lack of time and energy. But I *have* hung on to a few poo-loving gems to share with you today nonetheless. I don't know exactly why, but I feel very flattered that someone apparently couldn't remember my blog's name, and so they googled this first search in order to track it down.

Oily orange feces--you do me proud!

Anyways, enjoy them, in all their stinkalicious glory.

(MAKING UP WORDS IS FUN!)

• oily orange poo blog


• brown red blue shit


• shit lovers


• what is the gassiest bean


• bat poo in mascara


• gassy vegan recipes


• gross shit


• candle flame to nipple pics


• eating uncooked yeast sick

(Check out earlier editions HERE)

!!!!!The 5th edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog"!!!!!

Since yesterday Leslie left a comment on my blog that said "I had to tell you what someone googled to get to my page: "how to eat lady ass"... totally reminded me of you," and since I have already accumulated a fantastically juicy medley of google searches in the short period of time since we last met to do this thang, I figured it'd be appropriate to bring to you today...

!!!!!The 5th edition of "The Most Bizarre Google Searches By Which People Stumble Across This Blog"!!!!!

(As always, you can check out earlier editions HERE.)

In topical categories...

The Poo-Lovers

• shit yeah


• vegetarian cut the shit


• gross shit pics


• i am looking for a recipe i can use to look like bear feces


• oily feces


• bat feces in mascara {{is this really a problem? i've seen this google search come up twice already}}


• tasting shitting


• tasting feces


• can your body smell like shit {{I am the #1 site if you look this up on yahoo. Hee hee.}}


• feces recipe


• orange feces


• do carrots and almonds make you shit


• birthday cake of shit


• give a shit birthday cake recipe


• pete are you shit egg


• lip shit


• sweet shit cleveland


• baby shit instead of mustard

The Nipple-Lovers

• oily taste from nipple


• nipple pinching

The Beautifully Orgasmic

• beautiful orgasmy


• orgasimic food

The Just Plain Weird

• pumpkin seeds raw cat how to make worms


• oozy bread


• least gassiest beans


• stomach ache fresh bread oven


• vegan crazy {{Rolling eyes back in head and speaking in tongues}}


• corn bread recipe very corny


• animal hair


• vegeance in our, it's not god


• picture vegan peanut butter chocolate {{Don't mind if i do}}


• veganism frozen shoulder


• breakdancing cupcake recipe

Of course, the final google search (breakdancing cupcake recipe) *MUST* be added to baking to-do list, which, yes, DOES still include no-bake bear shit cookies.

Gimme time. Gimme time.