What to Eat If You Never Want Anyone to Make Out With You Ever Again

On the weekend, my friend Peppermint came over for a LLP night, and we cooked. I've been wanting to try the Appetite for Reduction onion rings for a while, so she brought over some homemade veggie burgers to accompany them. To make matters worse for our breath, we added caramelized onions to the burgers as well, making it one hell of a stank dinner. However, both of us had to admit, the onion rings were really quite good. I used corn-flake "bread" crumbs instead of wheat, and the breading ended up kind of messy, but the one hand per bowl technique seems like a myth anyways since, as soon as you dip into the breadcrumbs, you end up clumping that shit up. Either which way though: oh man are they delish. And super easy. I'd definitely make them again. Even if that means not making out with anyone for a week as a result.


OMG Oven Baked Onion Rings

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 vidalia onions (about a pound), or other sweet onion like Walla Walla


• 1/2 c. plus 2 T. all purpose flour


• 2 T. corn starch


• 1 c. cold almond milk (I used soy milk)


• 1 t. apple cider vinegar


• 1 c. whole wheat bread crumbs (I used corn-flake "bread" crumbs)


• 1 t. kosher salt


• 2 t. olive oil


• Cooking spray

DIRECTIONS

Slice onions into 3/4 inch thick rings. Separate the rings and place in a bowl. Cover with a kitchen towel or something, to keep the onioniness out of your eyes.

Preheat oven to 450 F. Line a rimmed 12×18 baking sheet with parchment paper, spray with cooking spray and set aside.

Now you’ll need two bowls for batter and breading. If you’ve got large, wide cereal bowls that’ll do the trick. In one bowl, dump in the flour and cornstarch. Add about half of the almond milk and stir vigorously with a fork to dissolve. Add the rest of the almond milk and the apple cider vinegar, and stir to incorporate. Set aside.

In the other bowl, mix together the bread crumbs and salt. Drizzle in the oil and use your fingertips to mix it up well.

Assemble the onion rings:

Get a conveyor belt going. From left to right, have the onions, the flour mixture, the breadcrumbs mixture and lastly the baking sheet. Dip each onion slice into the the flour, letting the excess drip off. Transfer to the breadcrumbs bowl and use the other hand to sprinkle a handful of breadcrumbs over the onion, to coat completely. This may take a bit of practice. Carefully transfer each onion to a single layer on the baking sheet. Make sure you use one hand for the wet batter and the other for the dry batter, or you’ll end up with club hand.

Spray rings lightly with cooking spray and bake for 8 minutes. Flip, and bake another 6 minutes. Rings should be varying shades of brown and crisp. Taste one to check for doneness. Serve as soon as possible. With ketchup if you must.

Note from cookbook: Coupla things. You have to use sweet onions for this, like vidalia or walla walla. Otherwise the taste won’t be as special and the texture won’t be as juicy. Also, if things go as planned, you’re not going to use all of the onions or all of the coating. Just use the nice big rings and use the tiny inside rings for something else. For the batter and coating, you need a lot to get everything breaded, but there will be a bunch left over. Them’s the breaks.

(Recipe from Appetite for Reduction, reposted at Go Dairy Free)



WHAT YOU SHOULD SERVE IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET SOMEONE DRUNK ENOUGH THAT THEY WON'T NOTICE ALL THE ONION ON YOUR BREATH:

(Ginger beer, vodka, lime juice, muddled mint)

Way Better Than Avatar 3D, It's Charred Kale w/Sesame Seeds 3D!!!

This is my favorite side dish of the moment, and although there's not a specific recipe, I can at least give you a general idea of how to make it so you can try it out. 'Cause seriously: so damn simple and so damn good.

For one serving, heat a teaspoon or two of EVO on medium-high in a pan. (You can cook the kale without EVO too, but it definitely adds a bit more flavor.) Toss in several fistfuls of rinsed kale. Toss with the oil. Cover. Let cook for a few minutes and then toss in a tiny bit of water and replace the lid (this will just help steam it some). Don't stir too often because you actually WANT it to char a bit. Let it cook until the leaves brighten in color and have started to get tender. Shake some sea salt on top and cover again. Cook until it reaches your desired tenderness and the majority of leaves have some char on them. Shake a bountiful amount of sesame seeds on it and cook a minute more until seeds have browned a little. Pour into a bowl. Don 3D glasses. Eat it like a rockstar.

Sweet n' Salty Stuffing

Entirely random unsegue into a stuffing recipe: I have strange food-habits, which I've no doubt mentioned before. But this morning, while grabbing a utensil to take with me for lunch, I realized the following one takes the cake when it comes to irrationality...

I have this one fork in my collection of forks that I hate. As in, when I pull it out of the fork drawer, I get angry. And I usually try to avoid using it, unless absolutely nothing else is clean. Why? Because it has a wide base and short tines. Which for some reason fills me with intense hatred.

And now: the stuffing I raved about incessantly yesterday:

                                       from bakingsheet

I'm a big proponent of the salty-sweet combination in a dish. There's just something incredibly delicious about the way the two contrast on the tastebuds.

Case in point: For a long time, my mom used to make fun of me because when we'd hit up a movie and grab a late-night snack somewhere after, my order would usually consist of toast and ice cream. Or toast and pie. Or toast and cake. Get me? Salty-sweet: love it.

And that's what I dug so much about this dish: It's got the saltiness going on from all things vegetabley and bouillony, but the apples and cranberries counter it with a delightful and delicate sweetness. AND, not only does this stuffing represent when it comes to the sweet/salty combo, it also does so with the soft/crunchy. Smushy gushy bread and soft veggies blessed with an occasional crunch from the pecans. How stuffing is meant to be.

I doubled this recipe, but I'm just reposting the original. It doubles easily. I just baked it in a 9x13 glass baking dish (or something along that line of measurements), and I think I added on maybe 10 or 15 minutes to the baking time, but only because I added a little too much broth.

Anyways, there were only six of us, and even with double the quantity, there were very little leftovers. And it was the dish most raved about at T-day. So hopefully that's enough stuffing-flattery to get you try this recipe out.

(Ps. Allularpunk: If you try it, lemme know what you think!)

INGREDIENTS:

• 3/4 c. onion, diced


• 1/2 c. celery, diced


• 1/2 c. apple, peeled and diced


• 2 t. dried or 3 T. minced fresh parsley


• 1/2 t. dried sage


• 1/4 t. salt


• pinch cayenne pepper


• 4 c. bread cubes (white or whole grain)


• 1/2 c. dried cranberries


• 1/4 c. chopped pecans


• 10-12 T. strong vegetable broth* (up to 3/4 cup)

*Use strong veggie broth for the best flavor. (I used double the amount of bouillon that you'd usually use for 3/4 c. water. Also, as bakingsheet mentions, you can add a tbsp of soy sauce to boost the flavor if yours isn't particularly flavorful.

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 350F and lightly grease a 1.5-quart baking dish.

In a small frying pan, sautee the onion, celery and apple until tender with the parsley, sage, salt, cayenne (or regular pepper, if you prefer). This should take about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.

In a large bowl, combine the bread cubes with onion mixture, cranberries, pecans, vegetable broth, adding slightly more if the bread is very absorbant (some need more liquids), and mix well. Taste one of the cubes and, if necessary, add additional salt or pepper.

Pour into prepared casserole dish and cover with aluminum foil. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove foil and bake for an additional 20 minutes, until top is crisp and golden.

Serve immediately.

Serves 4.

(from bakingsheet)

Ma’s Potato Salad

So I forgot to take a picture of this potato salad. But you remember the part in E.T. where E.T. and Elliot get sick and they put E.T. in that breathing chamber and he's so skinny and greyish and sickly and you were like, E.T., No ! You can't die! and you were still trying not to be freaked out by all those government dudes that barged into their house and who were like the scariest things ever, and you were trying not to cry because it just isn't right that E.T. would EVER die because he is a GOOD alien??!! Anyways, sick E.T. is kind of what this potato salad looked like. Not real attractive, to be frank.

But in flavor, it was pretty damn good. Admittedly, it didn't make for the best of lunches for the week. But as a side to take to an omni bbq, it will DEFINITELY please.

I made a half-batch, but I include the original recipe, in case you wanna use it for a picnic or something.

Oh, and I omitted the onion finally, instead of spending all lunch picking it out.

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 large Russett potatoes, cleaned, cut into large chunks, and boiled until just soft


• 1/2 c. Bacuns or Bac-o's (meat-free bacon bits)


• 1 c. pitted, sliced black olives


• 2 c. diced celery


• 1/4 c. balsamic vinaigrette


• 3/4 c. Veganaise (or other nondairy mayo)


• 1/4 c. spicy brown mustard


• 1/2 t. sea salt


• 1 t. ground black pepper


• 1 cup diced red onion

DIRECTIONS

Clean, cut, and cook the potatoes (with skins on) until just soft.

Drain and chill.

When the potatoes are thoroughly chilled, mix with all other ingredients and enjoy

Serves about 6 large-portions, 8-12 sides.

(Recipe from VegCooking)

Barry White Boston Baked Beans

Motherhump.

I had something to say about beans yesterday. Typed it all out. It was UNDOUBTEDLY brilliant, as all my posts are. But then, somehow, it got deleted.

So today, instead of brilliance, I bring you a little jingle... A sing-a-long, one might say... An itty bitty titty ditty... Which I'm sure most of you have never heard before.

Enjoy:

Beans beans the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

SING WITH ME!

So yeah: I also made these beans for the 4th of July holiday. I of course bought all the ingredients BEFORE noticing that it was a slow-cooker recipe and was all like, 9 hours in the motherf-ing slow-cooker? For BAKED BEANS?

But holy mother holy. After four hours, I tasted them and was like: Boring. After 6: Dull. Somewhere between 6 and 9, they got all sorts of Barry White sex-you-up smooth and sexy. They kind of just slid on up to me in my kitchen, pulled my head back, and started doing all sorts of sexy shit with their mouth on my throat. NNNNNNGTTTTTT yeah. I mean, I didn't even use fake ham 'cause I couldn't find it, so I think I ended up using something resembling bologna. And yet, THEY WERE NOT DETERRED IN THEIR SEXINESS.

I recommend.

Clearly.

ONE MORE TIME--BARRY-WHITE-STYLE!

Beans beans the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 lb. dry Great Northern beans


• Water sufficient to cover the beans


• 1 T. baking soda


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1 c. molasses


• 1 t. dry mustard


• 1 t. vegan Worcestershire sauce


• 1 c. firmly packed brown sugar


• 1 T. vegetable broth powder


• 1/4 lb. faux ham, roughly chopped (try Yves brand)


• 1 large white onion, diced

DIRECTIONS

Place the beans in a large kettle. Cover with the water and sprinkle with the baking soda. Bring to a boil. Cover and cook for 45 minutes, or until just tender. Drain, reserving the liquid.

Combine the salt, molasses, dry mustard, vegan Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, and vegetable broth powder.

Place 1/3 of the beans in a slow cooker and add a small amount of the reserved liquid. Layer with 1/3 of the molasses mixture, 1/3 of the faux ham, and 1/3 of the onion.

Repeat in the same order until the remaining beans, molasses mixture, faux ham, and onion have been used, adding a small amount of the reserved liquid with each layer.

Cover with the remaining reserved liquid, adding water if needed.

Cook on low heat for 9 to 11 hours, or until the beans are tender.

(Recipe from VegCooking.com)

BBQing with the P-A-R

I remembered pics today.

IN YOUR FACE!

And I am posting not one but TWO recipes. *Making you lick my asscheek as penance*

So yeah. I did lots of grilling out this weekend. My ex-bf's grill got left with me when he moved, and I've been making really good use of it, if I may say so myself. Which I will. Right now: "I've been making really good use of it."

I cooked out on Sunday with my family. And Friday night, we had a bit of an impromptu last-minute small-scale bbq as well, after initial plans of seeing a brilliant musician-acquaintance play-out fell through (he is fantastic, go check it out).

I called P.

P called A.

A punched a baby.

I called R.

R punched A.

And it was a PARTY (minus the TY). GET IT. P-A-R TY. BUDDUMMMM CHIIIII. Fucking shit--why are you not PAYING me for this???

Anyways, we grubbed it up with ribz. I got to watch P attempt to cut an onion without actually touching the onion with her hands which was truly the funniest thing ever. We boozed. And we dragged ass to the end of my street to catch fireworks.

When I suddenly realized mid-dinner that I had forgotten to take pics of food, P said, "You should take pictures of us EATING the food. I mean, you never really post pictures of people actually ENJOYING the food you make." And so it came to be that I took pics of P, A, and R stuffing face. And so it came to be that I realized part of the reason that I don't usually take pics of people eating food is that they somehow look kind of angry doing so. Nonetheless, I post. Pics have been altered to maintain anonymity.





As for the food: THE FOOD! The BBQ seitan ribz rocked out. They were everything everyone had said they would be. I actually had better luck with them on Sunday when I cooked them on foil though, I must admit. They came out crunchy but delectably tender in the middle. My bro (stouthearted meat-eater) said, Man, it's amazing that you can make this shit taste so good. He also coveted (COVETED) the homemade bbq sauce. He stole all the leftovers, threatening to eat it with a spoon later.

Friday P also whipped up the chickpea quinoa pilaf from Veganomicon, and I was surprised and pleased by how yummy it was. I actually liked it enough that I whipped up another batch last night for lunches for the week. I recommend.

So here you go. Finally some recipes.

You may now tell me how awesome I am.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd go!

BBQ SEITAN RIBZ


                                    from FatFree Vegan


INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. vital wheat gluten


• 2 t. smoked Spanish paprika


• 2 T. nutritional yeast


• 2 t. onion powder


• 1 t. garlic powder


• 3/4 c. water


• 2 T. tahini or other nut butter


• 1 t. Liquid Smoke


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 c. (give or take) of your favorite barbecue sauce (I used the Backyard BBQ Sauce from Veganomicon)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly spray an 8x8 baking dish with canola oil. Mix the first 5 ingredients together in a large bowl. Mix the water with the nut butter, Liquid Smoke, and soy sauce and add it to the dry ingredients. Stir to mix well and then knead lightly in the bowl for a couple of minutes.

Put the dough into the baking dish and flatten it so that it evenly fills the pan. Take a sharp knife and cut it into 8 strips; then turn the pan and cut those strips in half to form 16 pieces

Put it in the oven and bake for 25 minutes. While it's cooking prepare your grill.

Remove it from the oven and carefully re-cut each strip, going over each cut to make sure that the ribz will pull apart easily later. Generously brush the top with barbecue sauce. Take it to the grill and invert the whole baking dish onto the grill (or use a large spatula to lift the seitan out, placing it sauce-side down on the grill). Brush the top of the seitan with more sauce:

Watch it closely to make sure that it doesn't burn. When it's sufficiently brown on one side, turn over and cook the other side, adding more sauce, if necessary. When done, remove to a platter and cut or pull apart the individual ribs to serve.

(from FatFree Vegan)






CHICKPEA-QUINOA PILAF

                                    from Veganomicon

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. olive oil


• 1 small yellow onion, chopped


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/2 t. cumin


• 1 T. coriander seeds


• Several pinches of freshly ground pepper


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1 T. tomato paste


• 1 c. quinoa


• 15-oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed


• 2 c. vegetable broth or reconstituted bouillon

In a small stock-pot over medium heat, saute the onions in olive oil for about 7 minutes. Add the garlic and saute for 2 more minutes.

Add the tomato paste, coriander, cumin, black pepper, and salt. Saute for another minute.

Add the quinoa and saute for 2 minutes

Add the chickpeas and broth, cover and bring to a boil. Once the mixture is boiling, lower the heat to very low, cover, and cook for about 18 minutes, or until the quinoa mixture has completely absorbed the liquid. Stir occasionally. Fluff with fork and serve.

(from Veganomicon, as posted at Decoupage and Demitasse)

Cookouts and Flavor Flav

So yes: like most of you, I cooked out on Memorial Day Weekend. Actually more than once. I forgot to take pictures at the first cookout though, which is a shame because there was some good stuff there, like my mom's vegan taco pizza, for example. But oh well.

My second cookout was at my friend P's and was very laid back and feminist-ic. We sat out on her huge voluptuous porch. I cooked burgers on my ex's little grill. We talked about books we were reading, bands, some really bad movies that we're fond of. One of P's friends quietly knitted while we sat and bullshit. It was a nice nice day.

I whipped up some peanut burgers with satay sauce for everyone and dragged along some of Veganomicon's blinding potato salad. P made a delicious chickpea salad with basil and mint (recipe hopefully forthcoming). And we battled it out upon realizing we'd both baked VwaV chocolate chip cookies.

The peanut burgers were decent--nothing special. Though I must say, coupled with the peanut satay sauce, they were quite scrumptious. (The sauce isn't exactly the epitome of healthiness though.) The potato salad, on the other hand, I found sorely disappointing. My mom's boyfriend liked it a lot when I brought it to my brother's cookout, but I just thought it was bland bland bland. Then again, I'm kind of a traditionalist when it comes to potato salad, so maybe THAT'S why I didn't like it? Who knows. But honest to god, I found it really super-boring on the flavor front.



Nonetheless, I post both recipes here. If you DO go the bean-burger route, definitely try it with the satay sauce. It adds a much-need oomph.




Peanut Burgers with Satay Sauce



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. TVP granules


• 1 scant c. boiling water


• 1 T. tomato paste or ketchup


• 1 16-oz can pinto, kidney, or other beans, drained (I used kidney)


• 1/4 c. whole wheat bread crumbs (I used panko)


• 2 cloves garlic, finely minced


• 1/2 t. ginger powder


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 t. sugar


• 1/4 c. chopped peanuts


• salt and pepper to taste


• whole wheat flour for dusting

DIRECTIONS

Pour boiling water over TVP and tomato paste in a bowl. Stir and let rest for 10 minutes.

In food processor, combine TVP mixture and remaining ingredients except for flour and peanuts. Pulse until mixture is almost a puree. During the last pulse, add peanuts. Pulse just enough to mix.

Dust hands with flour and shape mixture into 6 burgers. Dust them lightly in flour. Layer the burgers with sheets of waxed paper and refrigerate for at least one hour.

Cook on a grill covered with foil for about 10 minutes on each side.



Satay Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 small onion, minced


• 1 clove garlic, minced


• 1 small chili pepper, chopped (or alternately, red pepper flakes to taste


• 1 t. sesame oil


• 1 c. natural chunky peanut butter (make sure it's natural--I made the mistake of not doing so, and it coagulated very strangely)


• 1/4 c. teriyaki sauce


• 2 t. brown sugar (or regular sugar works too)


• 1/4 c. water


• 1 t. tomato paste


• 1 t. sesame tahini


• salt & pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

In a heavy saucepan saute the onion, garlic, and chili pepper in the sesame oil.

When translucent, add the peanut butter and stir until melted.

Add the rest of the ingredients. Simmer over medium heat for 10 minutes.

Serve over grilled peanut burgers.
(Posted at Award-Winning Veggie Burger Recipes)




Prospect Park Potato Salad


                                    from Veganomicon

INGREDIENTS:

• 5 lbs. potato, washed and peeled (I used red, I think the original recipe calls for yukon gold maybe?)


• 1 seedless cucumber, sliced thinly


• 1 large carrot, peeled and grated


• 1 c. vegan mayonnaise


• 1/4 c. Dijon mustard (whole grain)


• 1/4 c. olive oil


• 1/3 c. white vinegar


• 2 T. sugar


• 1 T. dried dill


• 1 t. turmeric


• 1.5 t. salt (to taste)


• 1 t. fresh ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Slice the potatoes between 1/2 and 1/4 inch thick. (If potatoes are large they can be cut into halves or thirds before slicing.)

Place potatoes into large stockpot, and fill with cold water about 4 inches above the top of potatoes.

Bring to a boil for about 15 minutes or until potato can be pierced easily with a fork. (With red potatoes, this took only about 5 minutes.)

While the potatoes boil, prepare the dressing.

If making the whole recipe, you will need the larges mixing bowl you have in order to add the potatoes later on.

Mix the vegan mayo, mustard, olive oil, sugar, vinegar, dill, turmeric, sal and pepper. Wisk together briskly. Add sliced cucumbers and place in the fridge until potatoes are ready.

When potatoes are done, drain and rise them quickly under cold water. Be sure to shake off any excess water. Add potatoes to the dressing and mix well.

Top with grated carrots and mix. Check seasoning and adjust as needed.

Refrigerate until ready to serve.

(from Veganomicon, posted at Recipezaar)

Maple Mustard-Glazed Potatoes and String Beans

                                    from Vegan with a Vengeance

I made these maple mustard-glazed potatoes and string beans (from VwaV) this weekend when one of my friends came over for dinner (I subbed in red potatoes for the yukon golds). And MAN were they fricking good. I post them today because they'd actually make a really fantastic side for a barbecue, especially since they really DO taste best at room temperature. They are sweet, sticky, mustardy, and just super f-ing yum.

The only thing that weirded me out about them was the green beans. By the time the potatoes were totally done cooking, the green beans looked kind of like crusty sidewalk worms--you know, the kind that get somehow get themselves stuck in the middle of the pavement right before the hot midday sun appears. They tasted really good, but attractive they were not. So... I'd recommend maybe waiting until you remove your foil and lower your oven temperature to throw them in with your potatoes. But that's just me. If you're into shriveled sidewalk worms, by all means, ignore me. (I have altered the recipe directions to reflect the change though. Just FYI.)

And now, a related question:

I know that Dijon mustard and red wine vinegar are both frequently used in vegan recipes, but I've always been a bit flummoxed about which brands to buy for each, because both contain wine, and most wines are not vegan. I usually just end up using balsamic vinegar instead. So my question is: How do you all go about selecting your dijon mustards and red wine vinegars? Do you KNOW of specific vegan brands? Or do you just say, fuck it, and buy whatever's available? (The dijon mustard is actually not as much of an issue for me anymore since I did finally find one that contains neither honey nor white wine. But I figured I'd toss that it out there anyways.)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 lbs. small Yukon gold potatoes (halved, about 1 inch pieces)


• 1/2 lb. string beans, halved, ends cut off and discarded


• 1 yellow onion, thickly sliced


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 3 T. tamari or soy sauce


• 1/4 c. pure maple syrup


• 3 T. Dijon mustard


• 2 T. olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 400. Put the potatoes in a 9x13 inch casserole dish (or rimmed pan). Stir together the remaining ingredients until the mustard is dissolved. Pour over the potatoes and mix well. Cover with foil and put in oven. Bake for 25 minutes. Removed from oven, add the green beans, and toss. Turn oven down to 350 and cook for 25 minutes uncovered. Remove from oven and toss again, cook for 25 minutes more uncovered. Let them cool down a bit after they are cooked so that the sauce becomes more sticky. Best served at room temperature.

(Recipe as posted at Stivers' Family Update, originally from Vegan with a Vengeance)

Mom-a-Licious

As I've mentioned many a time before, my mom is awesome in the way of vegan food, despite claiming that she can't cook worth a shit.

Though it's long past, I'm finally posting a couple recipes that she whipped up for us for Easter. (We don't really celebrate Easter--we just use it as an excuse to get available sibs together and eat lots of food.)

Both of these were simple and delish.


VEGAN PEANUT NOODLES



INGREDIENTS:

• 8 oz. linguine


• 1/3 c. lowat creamy peanut butter


• 2 T. soy sauce


• 1.5 T. rice wine vinegar


• 1 to 2 t. chile paste w/garlic


• 1/2 t. sugar


• 1 medium red bell pepper, cut in strips


• 3/4 c. seeded cucumber


• 3 scallions, diagonally sliced in 1/4" pieces to make 1/4 c.


• 2 t. chopped cilantro (or favorite seasoning)


• lime juice

DIRECTIONS

Cook linguine & drain.

Combine peanut butter with 1/4 cup water, soy sauce, vinegar & chile paste in blender & blend to consistency of cream.

Add linguine and vegetables.

Sprinkle with cilantro and lime.

(serves 6)




APRICOT COUSCOUS



INGREDIENTS:

• 12 oz couscous, dried


• 2.5 c. vegetable stock


• 1 T. vegan margarine


• 1 T. chopped fresh parsley (or basil or herb of choice)


• 1 T. lemon zest


• 1 T. vegan parmesan cheese


• 1/4 c. diced, dried apricots


• sea salt & freshly ground pepper, to taste

DIRECTIONS

Steam the couscouse: Bring stock & vegan margarine to a boil, then remove from heat. Add couscous to liquid, stir and cover for 5 minutes.
Fold in parsley, lemon zest, parmesan & apricots. Season, then finish with sea salt.

(makes 4 servings)

(recipe from Rocco Whalen of Fahrenheit restaurant)

Hushpuppies

As I mentioned the other day, Saturday night was Unfried Fried Foods Night. I made the Hot Wingz de Katie. And I also decided to whip up these hushpuppies on the side.

It's been a long time since I've had a hushpuppy.

My grandma used to be a fan of Long John Silver's when I was a little one, and she used to take us there for dinner once in a while. The only thing I ever really adored eating there was hushpuppies. Nice round greasy hushpuppies.

Well, I'm a grease-wuss now apparently, and when I read directions to a recipe that entail heating a deep layer of oil for 15 minutes so you can fry the shit out of said recipe, my stomach turns.

So I baked these instead.

And granted, they're probably not TRUE hushpuppies if they're baked.

And they probably didn't taste as DELICIOUSLY Long-John-Silvery as they would've had I fried them.

BUT THAT'S MY PREROGATIVE!



I still thought they were tasty (I mixed up some ketchup and nayonnaise and dipped them in that). They were extremely dry however, but I think that is The Nature of the Hushpuppy, truth be told. (Really, the only thing that lends a bit of moisture to a hushpuppy is the thick thick greasy outside sheen anyways.) So if you want hushpuppies that are a bit more moist, fry them. If you don't mind some drier, but healthier, hushpuppies, then oven-toss them. Or maybe just tinker with your moisture-ratios in the initial recipe. Whatever floats your boat.

That's YOUR prerogative.



INGREDIENTS:

• Egg Replacer equivalent of 1 egg


• 2/3 c. plain soy milk


• 1 1/4 c. yellow corn meal


• 1/2 c. unbleached flour


• 3 t. baking powder


• 1 t. sugar


• 1 t. black pepper


• 1/2 c. minced yellow onion


• 1/2 c. whole kernel sweet corn


• 1/4 c. chopped green onion


• 1 jalapeño, seeded and diced (optional)


• 1/2 cup soy cheddar cheese (optional)


• Vegetable oil, for frying

DIRECTIONS

If baking, preheat oven to 400F.

Mix the egg replacer with the soy milk in a large bowl.

Add the yellow corn meal, flour, baking powder, sugar, and pepper to the egg replacer-soy milk mixture. Stir in the onion, corn, green onion, jalapeño, and soy cheese until combined. Form into balls.

If frying:

In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat for about 15 minutes, or until it is 375°F.

Add 4 to 6 hushpuppies to the hot oil (you will need to cook them in several small batches). Cook until golden brown and firm.

Cool on a paper towel. Serve warm.

If baking:

Line a baking sheet with foil and grease it with some olive oil. Toss your hushpuppies onto it and roll them around a little bit so they have some oil all over.

Bake for 10 minutes. Flip. Bake for another 5-10 minutes, until cooked through.
Makes 6-8 servings

(Recipe from VegCooking)

When They Were Bad They Were Very Very Bad, But When They Were Good They Were Awesome

So I feel a TEENY bit bad giving Veganomicon such a hard time yesterday. I don't hate the cookbook, and I don't want it to come across as such. Granted, I've had a couple major flops. And they flopped hard. But I've also had some damn good experiences as well. And I don't want the bad to eclipse the good here (speaking of eclipse: you catch the lunar one last night? fricking bad-ass awesome).

So today, I'm lacing up my boxing gloves, putting in one of them mouthguard thingies, and hopping around in the ring ready to take on the chickpea-cutlet dissers because, good god, peeps, I loves these things.

Yesterday, my mom had an appointment for a colonoscopy and endoscopy, which I took her to. (I'm sure she'll be EVER so pleased that I'm talking about her asshole for everyone around the globe to read.) Anyways, she was starving since she had to fast all day. So I decided to cook her dinner. And I decided that I'd whip up the chickpea cutlets again, this time in nugget form.

And seriously peeps: I know that tastes vary. So I'ma chalk up the haters to that fact. (I hate brussel sprouts, but I know many of you who would happily use them as anal beads, you love them that much. All a matter of taste, you brussel sprout pervs...) But *tightening the lacing on my boxing gloves* I'll totally rope-a-dope those of you who argue that the recipe itself stinks, because even after forming them into nuggets, I still had absolutely no problem with it, and they came out delightful (albeit, looking a little bit like poo-logs; but once you get around that, they're damn tasty, and I recommend the nugget form for those of you trying to feed kids). In nugget form, these would make an AWESOME finger-food for parties (with a few sides of dipping sauces) or an easy way to please an omnivore.


Seriously: poo or chickpea nugget?
Hard to tell...

For those of you interested in trying them out this way, you'll just want to form them into about 12-15 nuggety shapes (see pics) evenly spaced on your pan and flip them over every once in a while until they are firm enough that you can pick them up (I think I only ended up reducing the cooking time on the original recipe by about 5 minutes to make them in nugget form).

I also made the lemony roasted potatoes for dinner as well, and mother of god, these things were good. They left my house smelling wonderfully aromatic, like Thanksgiving day had made an unexpected layover in Cleveland. Despite the fact that I am the worst cutter-upper of potatoes, they turned out delicious, the perfect hint of delicate lemon flavoring.

So yeah: Veganomicon has disappointed me a couple times. But I'm hoping that the two incidents I mentioned yesterday were just isolated events and that the good moments (like the chickpea cutlets and lemony roasted potatoes) will engulf the bad moments, chew them up, and spit them out, as I try out more and more recipes from this book. *Fingers crossed* since I intend to whip up that eggplanty curry recipe this weekend along with the tomatoey-rice soup recipe.

Those are the technical names, obviously.

LEMONY ROASTED POTATOES



INGREDIENTS:

• 2.5 pounds Russet potatoes (medium to small potatoes work best)


• 1/3 c. olive oil


• 6 cloves garlic, chopped finely


• 1/2 c. freshly squeezed lemon juice


• 1 c. vegetable broth


• 2 t. dried oregano


• salt to taste


• 1 t. tomato paste (or I used steak sauce)


• Freshly ground black pepper


• Chopped fresh parsley or dried oregano (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Peel the potatoes, slice in half lengthwise, and slice each half into wedges no more then 3/4″ thick.

In a large, deep baking pan or casserole dish (at least 10 17-inches or bigger), combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, vegetable broth, oregano, salt, and tomato paste. Add the peeled, sliced potatoes. Sprinkle with freshly ground pepper and toss the potatoes to cover with the sauce. Cover the pan tightly with foil (or use lid of casserole dish), place in the oven, and bake for 30-35 minutes until the potatoes are almost done. Several times during the baking process, remove the pan from the oven, uncover, stir the potatoes, place the cover back, and return the pan to the oven.

Uncover the pan one last time, stir the potatoes again, and bake, uncovered, for an additional 15-20 minutes, until most of the sauce has evaporated and some of the potatoes have just started to brown on their edges. Sprinkle with chopped fresh parsley and/or more dried oregano before serving.

serves 4-6

(Posted at The PepperTree, originally from Veganomicon)

Walnut-and-Apple Stuffing

Admittedly not the most flattering of pics--
it mostly just looks like I'm forcing a photo
of unattractive moist bread upon you...

I am in such slacker-mode lately that I keep having to force myself to post.

I think I need to hire some dude with a large whip (*hrm--that sounds dirtier than I'd meant it to, for once*) to stand behind me at work and crack it at me over and over so that I throw some recipes up here more often. (Not throw up as in "vomit" but as in "post.") Good god, my words are just stumbling into their own fiendish misunderstandings today!

I don't think my workplace would be up for the guy with the large whip and assless chaps (I added the last part on just because guys in assless chaps are funny), but still. IT SHALL BE DONE, so if you are interested in the job, let me know. I pay in cookies.

On to the stuffing: I was lazy and didn't feel like roasting chestnuts. In fact, I was so lazy that I didn't even look around hard enough in the produce section of my grocery store to figure OUT whether they have chestnuts TO roast. I just kind of half-squinted and then was like, Alas--no chestnuts. So instead I used walnuts.

I must admit retrospectively that I suspect the chestnuts would be much better. I think they're probably a bit more moist than walnuts, which would've probably allowed the recipe to cling together like a real stuffing should a little bit more. Mine was a bit more crumbly than I would've liked. *BUT* I think you could probably still use the walnuts if you just maybe add a wee bit more "chicken" soup to the mix. Also, I would've liked more apple as well. But maybe that's just me.

Nonetheless: recipe:

INGREDIENTS:

• 10 slices whole-wheat bread, cubed


• 10 slices white bread, cubed


• 1 14-oz. tube soy "sausage" crumbled


• 1 T. olive oil


• 1 large white onion, chopped (about 1/5 c.)


• 5 ribs celery, sliced (about 1.5 c.)


• 4 cloves garlic, minced


• 2 tart apples, peeled and diced


• 1 c. walnuts (or if you wanna stick to the original recipe, 1 c. peeled and ready-to-eat roasted chestnuts, halved)


• 1/4 c. chopped fresh sage


• 1.5 c. no chicken broth

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 325F. Spread bread cubes in roasting pan and bake 10-15 minutes or until toasted.

Coat nonstick skillet with cooking spray and heat over medium-high heat. Add soy sausage, and cook 5 minutes or until browned. Toss sausage with bread cubes in a bowl.

Heat oil in same skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, celery, and garlic, and saute 1 minute. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook 7 minutes more. Stir in apples, walnuts or chestnuts, and sage. Cover, and cook 5 minutes, or until apples are crisp-tender. Add to bread mixture. (Stuffing can be prepped up to this point, sealed in a food storage bag, and refrigerated up to 2 days.)

Increase oven heat to 350F. Coat 13x9-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Toss stuffing mixture with broth, and season with salt and pepper. Spoon into prepared baking dish. Cover with foil and bake 20 minutes. Removed foil and bake 15 minutes more, or until top is browned and crisp.

Serves 12.

(Modified from the Vegetarian Times, Nov./Dec. Issue, p. 86)

Why My Mom Rocks Harder Than Your Mom (Unless Your Mom Is, Say, Joan Jett, or Some Other Rocker-By-Title, But Even Then Maybe Still)

Oh, look at that. One blog-entry ago, you thought I was a liar. You thought to yourself, That bitch, Lindy Loo. She tells us on Monday to stay tuned for vegan T-day recipes later in the week AND THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY POSTS THEM. That's exactly why I hate her and want to rub orange oily feces all over her and her cats.

Well, touché, friends. Touché.

Because my mom TYPED UP AND EMAILED ME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER VEGANIZED THANKSGIVING RECIPES TODAY, so rather than spread them out over four days, I am just gonna blow your mind with them ALL IN THE SAME POST.

In yo' face, 4-times over!!!!!

(And seriously--isn't she a goddess??)

VEGAN GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE




INGREDIENTS:

• 16 oz green beans cooked or steamed then drained


instead of one can cream of mushroom soup:


• 8 0z container of tofutti, and


• 1/2-3/4 c. soy milk




• 1 T. of hummus (or more to your taste )


• (if mix is too runny you can add a tsp of flour to thicken slightly)


• Salt/pepper to taste


• Large can of Durkees french fried onions

DIRECTIONS:

Scoop cream cheez into a bowl and add 1/2 to 3/4 cup soy milk to it gradually, stirring each time to avoid it lumping.

Combine all ingredients but 1/2 can of the onions in a 2-quart baking dish.

Bake uncovered at 350 degrees..25-30 minutes..

Add rest of the onions as topping & continue baking 5 more minutes.

Bon appetit!





VEGAN STUFFED SHROOMS



INGREDIENTS:

• 16 large mushrooms


• 1 T. olive oil


• 3 T. dry sherry or white wine


• 1/4 c. finely chopped parsley if desired


• 1 T. vegan parmesan


• 1 T. unseasoned bread crumbs


• 1 clove finely minced garlic


• 1/4 t. dried thyme


• 1/4 t. oregano


• salt & pepper (or my mom used equivalent of Mrs Dash & seasoned to taste)

DIRECTIONS:

375 degrees..15-20 minutes.. 13 x 9 pan..cooking spray

Finely chop stems. Set caps aside.

Combine oil with wine. Reserve 2 T. of oil/wine mixture. Pour 2 T. of oil/wine mixture into 8" skillet & warm over low-medium heat. Saute stems six minutes until mix is dry. Add finely chopped parsley, cheese, crumbs & seasonings. Remove from heat. Stir in wine.

Spoon mix into caps using teaspoon.

Spray a 13x9 baking pan, and place a single layer of mushrooms inside.

Bake 15-20 minutes.

Halfway thru baking, brush caps w/remaining oil/wine mixture.

Serve hot.




VEGAN APPLE CRISP



INGREDIENTS:

• 4 apples cored/pared cut into cubes


• 3/4 t. lemon juice


• 1/2 c. granulated or 1/4 c. brown sugar


• dash cinnamon


• 1/4 c. water


dry ingredients:


• 1/4 c. + 2 T. flour


• 1/4 t. cinnamon


• 3 T. butter (Earth Balance)

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350F.

Mix apple cubes with lemon juice.

Add half of the sugar, dash of cinnamon and water.

Place in lightly greased 1 quart baking dish.

Mix dry ingredients cutting in butter with whisk or fork.

Sprinkle over top of apples.

Bake 30 minutes.





VEGAN SWEET POTATO CAKE



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. butter (Earth Balance)


• 2 c. granulated sugar


• substitute for 4 large eggs (for each egg, my mom used 1/4 cup well mashed tofu + 1/4-1/2 tsp baking powder--so I guess that would be 1 c. well-mashed tofu and 1-2 t. baking powder)


• 2-1/2 c. cooked mashed sweet potatoes


dry ingredients:


• 3 c. all-purpose flour


• 2 t. baking powder


• 1 t. baking soda


• 1 t. ground cinnamon


• 1/4 t. ground nutmeg


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1 T. vanilla extract



• 1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream vegan margarine and sugars in a large bowl. Add tofu and baking powder gradually, mixing well to minimize lumps. Add cooked well mashed lump-free sweet potatoes.

In a medium bowl, mix dry ingredients.

Combine dry ingredients with sweet potato mixture, stirring into a stiff batter.

You may add pecans at this point.

Pour into a well-greased baking pan (13 x 9 or loaf pan).

Bake for one hour if 13 x9.

If using loaf pan check after one hour using toothpick to make sure center done.

Sprinkle top w/chopped nuts if desired during the last 5-10 mins baking.

Cooking times may vary slightly.

Let cool. Sprinkle with powdered sugar or top with a vegan cream cheez frosting if desired. (I used leftover vegan cream cheez frosting with some of the leftovers, and it was DELISH!)

Strawberry Asparagus Salad

I cooked for my friend Mo this weekend, a fierce feast of asparagus and pasta.

This asparagus dish is based off of a recipe from this vegetarian fusiony cookbook I have at home (whose name is eluding me right now), and it's one that I've always drooled over (since it sounds so unusual) but never got around to making. However, since I have a fiendish hatred of buying ingredients that I'll never use again, which just seems so wasteful (in this case, strawberry vinegar), I made a few alterations to the original recipe.

The end result was surprisingly scrumptious. I suppose I shouldn't be shocked that strawberries and asparagus taste so good together, but I am. I AM!

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 lb. fresh asparagus


• 1 pint fresh strawberries


• 1 T. vegetable oil


• 6 T. apple cider vinegar


• 2 T. water


• Sugar

DIRECTIONS

Fill a smaller-size sauce pan with cold water, a pinch or two of sugar, and 5 T. apple cider vinegar. Bring to a boil. Add asparagus and cook until just tender.

Drain asparagus and place in a bowl. Drizzle 1 T. veggie oil, 1 T. apple cider vinegar, and 2 T. water over the asparagus and mix it up a bit. Let it sit in this marinade while you fiddle with your strawberries.

Take 7 of your not-quite-so-attractive strawberries and set them aside. Slice up your remaining strawberries into quarters. Place them in a bowl, and sprinkle a t. or so of sugar on them to draw out the juices.

Cut off the tops of your 7 strawberries and toss into a food processer. Blend until smooth.

After your asparagus has marinated for about 30 minutes or so, add your strawberries and mix around. Serve topped with some of your strawberry dressing.

Makes about 2 salads.

You Will Eat Your Veggies, and You Will Like Them!

Along with the peanut butter stuffed peppers and the peanut butter-chocolate cheesecake this past weekend, I was tempted to pimp out my asparagus by adapting the peanut-buttery green-bean recipe from the April 2007 VegNews as well, but then I had a moment of clarity and thought to myself, Seriously, Lindy Loo, there *IS* such a thing as overkill. (Plus, I didn't wanna be held responsible for blocking my fella's arteries.) So instead I whipped these up.

As always, I'll take broiled asparagus over steamed ANY day. And this weekend was no different. Except this time I decided to toss in a few added flavorings to the mix.

End result: intriguing. The soy sauce and sesame flavoring worked well with the asparagus. Perhaps not the best side for a meal filled with peanut butter. But then really, what is? Other than a giant peanut? Mmmmm. Giant peanuts. ARGHLGHLGHLGHL.

SIMPLE SESAME ASPARAGUS

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 T. sesame oil


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1/2 to 1 T. sesame seeds


• 1 bunch of asparagus

DIRECTIONS
Prep your asparagus by rinsing and snapping off the bottoms. Place them in a large bowl and drizzle the sesame oil and soy sauce on top. Let marinate for about 30 minutes at least, stirring it around every once in a while. Turn on your broiler. Spread the asparagus across a baking sheet. Place in the broiler until it's starting to darken and it's almost cooked all the way through (about 5 minutes or so). Remove and sprinkle the sesame seeds on top. Return to the broiler for just a minute or two (keep your eye on it because the sesame seeds will darken and burn very quickly). Remove and chow down.

Down-Home Vegan Green Bean Casserole

So what can I say--like almost every other American on the face of this planet, I'm a sucker for the uber-simple, uber-traditional green bean casserole that someone in my family whips up every single Thanksgiving or Christmas. When I went vegan, however, I figured that would be the end of the matter. But then I stumbled across someone or another discussing the existence of Imagine brand Creamy Portobello Mushroom Soup which is, if you haven't figured it out at this point, vegan! Not to mention the fact that I couldn't believe that French's French Fried Onions are actually vegan as well. I about pooped with excitement.

Now granted, it's not like there's not about 1500 really damn tasty-sounding vegan green bean casserole recipes floating around out theere on the internet. I mean, Fat-Free Vegan has one that sounds absolutely delish, and VegWeb does as well.

But there's just something about a recipe that comes on a can of fried onions, that only has four real ingredients, and that doesn't require much more than a can-opener and a casserole dish to whip up. So obviously, I was very nerded up when I stumbled across Imagine's cream of mushroom soup at Wild Oats. This wonderful vegan mushroom soup made veganizing this traditional dish work bee-oo-tifully.

INGREDIENTS:

• One 16-oz. carton of Imagine brand Creamy Portobello Mushroom Soup


• 1/8 tsp. black pepper


• A tiny bit of flour if it becomes necessary to thicken up the soup


• 2 pkgs. (9 oz. each) frozen cut green beans, thawed (Or 2 cans (14 1/2 oz. each) cut green beans, drained)


• 1 1/3 cups French's® Original French Fried Onions

DIRECTIONS
1. Combine soup and pepper in a 1 1/2 qt. baking dish; stir until blended. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup French's French Fried Onions.

2. Cover and bake at 350ºF for 30 minutes or until hot. (Make sure you've thawed the frozen green beans out sufficiently if you're using them--otherwise expect a longer baking time.) Check the casserole and see if the soup's thickened up enough--if not, add a couple teaspoons of flour and mix in. Stir.

3. Sprinkle with remaining 2/3 cup French Fried Onions. Bake 5 minutes or until onions are golden.

Fluffy Sweet Potatoes from the Magical Banana Forest!

As mentioned yesterday, the other dish I made for my mom's Thanksgiving gathering was a sweet potato dish. It was inspired by a recipe I saw in the Vegetarian Times Complete Cookbook, but I varied it so much that it isn't even worth crediting, to be honest.

I was a bit concerned initially because once I'd mixed all the ingredients, the mixture was actually quite soupy. When you're trying to get a mashed-potato consistency and it ends up watery, it's hard not to be a little bit worried that things just aren't gonna turn out right. But thankfully, after the 50 minute baking time, they were firmed right up. Quite honestly, they firmed up so nicely that next time I make them, I actually think I probably would tinker with them a bit more by adding some more liquids, now that I know it all gets absorbed in the oven.

All in all, they were pretty damn tasty. My brother kept saying that they actually tasted like pumpkin pie, and I do agree. In fact, I suspect that these would make a good filling for a sweet potato pie. I've never actually *HAD* sweet potato pie though, so I can't be certain. But they taste like what I'd *IMAGINE* sweet potato pie to taste like, in the land of magical fairies and giant lollipops, where I've actually *TRIED* sweet potato pie. =)

INGREDIENTS

• 4 lbs. sweet potatoes


• 4 ripe bananas, mashed


• 1 c. soymilk


• 1/2 c. apple cider


• 3 T. agave nectar


• 1 t. allspice


• 1/2 t. cinnamon


• 1/4 t. ground cloves


• 3 T. or so of candied ginger, minced


• Toasted pine nuts

DIRECTIONS
Cook the sweet potatoes in boiling water until soft--about 40 minutes or so. Transfer to a colander and then remove the skins while running the potatoes under cold water. Transfer skinless potatoes to a large metal bowl. Mash with a fork or masher. Add the bananas. Mix well. Add the soymilk and apple cider. Whip with a whisk until fairly smooth. Add everything else but the candied ginger and pinenuts.

Preheat oven to 375. Transfer the sweet potatoes to an 8x8 casserole dish that has been sprayed with nonstick spray. Bake in the oven, uncovered, for about 50 minutes or so. Remove from oven and sprinkle the candied ginger and pinenuts on top.

Serves a whole buttload.

Vegan Mac n' "Cheese" with a Side of Balsamic Apples and 'Bellas

Last night I decided to whip up a big mound of my vegan mac n' "cheese" (but with penne this time 'round) so that I could be lazy for the rest of this week (and perhaps some of next week) and not have to worry about lunch and/or dinner quite so much. The nice thing about vegan mac n' "cheese" is that it's such a basic (but yummy) recipe that you can just toss in a couple different things each time you eat it, and it makes it taste like a whole new dish. For example, last night I tossed in some baby peas and toasted pinenuts. Tonight, I packed some of it with pine nuts and the very last dollop of pesto I made this weekend. Each dish yumbly but with a slightly different spin so that you can't quite get sick of it. And you can heat it up or eat it cold as well.


Ah, macaroni n' "cheese," you are so very versatile. How can we not heart you so?

Because I was feeling a bit ambitious (and inspired) after having flipped through a copy of The Modern Vegetarian Kitchen that just came in at the library, and because I have some baby portabellas and some left-over Washington apples (that I smuggled out from work on fruit day) that still need using up, I decided to toy around with a variation of the balsamic portabella recipe in the cookbook. And voila--a very flavorful, very woodsy and autumnal side-dish that hit the spot.


INGREDIENTS:

• 1 apple (I used a Washington, but you can use whatever you want)


• One of the large containers of baby 'bellas (this would probably taste really damn good with a mix of various woodsy wild mushrooms as well)


• A fistful of walnuts, toasted


• 1 clove garlic, minced


• 1 T. olive oil


• 2.5 T. balsamic vinegar

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 400. Dice the apple up into really small chunks. Rinse your 'bellas free from dirt (and pop off any yucky-looking stems). Spray a small casserole-dish with some non-stick spray and toss in both the apples and 'bellas. Place in the oven for 25 minutes or so. (I forgot about the walnuts and just ended up adding them in after everything was already cooked, but if I make this again, I'll probably toss the walnuts into the oven for the last 10 minutes or so.) Drain out any excess juice/water. In a small saucepan, heat up the olive oil and toss in your garlic. Cook for a minute or so and then add your balsamic vinegar. According to the book, you wanna boil the balsamic vinegar for about 2-3 minutes until it's thickened and reduced. Mine didn't thicken quite so much, though it did reduce. Remove from heat and drizzle on your mushroom/apple mix. If you haven't already added your walnutters, you can add them now as well. Toss around and serve. Makes enough for about 2 side dishes.

Mango Asparagus (and Mango Sorbet)

Today's recipe is kind of a multi-tasker--really, it's two recipes in one, so hold onto your horses, o faithful readers.

Despite all my autumnal cooking this weekend (or perhaps BECAUSE of it), I did manage to sneak in a lighter, more end-of-summery dish (or two?) as well (despite the fact that I coupled it with the braised seitan dinner I mentioned yesterday, which in all truth, it didn't fit in with really--but ah well).

My friend D has been trying to coerce me into making him mango sorbet ever since I brought in some of my avocado sorbet for him to taste. So this weekend I decided to tackle the task, all in the name of asparagus.

Yes, asparagus.

I wanted to add a vegetable other than mashed taters on with my braised seitan dinner, and asparagus is always my go-to guy. But since the temperature actually *was* in the 80s this weekend, I didn't wanna go my usual route of broiling it because it would've heated up my kitchen unbearably.

So instead, I decided that steaming the asparagus would not contribute too much to the stuffiness of my apartment, *AND* I could also top it with some mango sorbet for a bit of pizazz (which gave me a reason to actually *make* the sorbet finally).

The end results were mixed. Strangely, I really liked the asparagus topped with the mango sorbet--it was nice and light and the flavors were a lovely, crisp contrast to one another, but the sorbet on its own didn't do a whole heckuva lot for me. My avocado sorbet was luxuriant and creamy--the mango sorbet was moreso just icy and overly-sweet. It kinda had the came consistency as a lemon-ice. And the recipe seemed to call for way more sugar than necessary, seeing as mangos are naturally sweet. So really, I could take it or leave it. And next time around, I'll probably just leave it and try out a different recipe on the mango-sorbet front instead.

But here it be anyways.

MANGO ASPARAGUS
INGREDIENTS:

• 1 bunch of asparagus


• Mango sorbet (recipe follows)

DIRECTIONS:
Steam asparagus until tender but not too soft. Drain. Serve topped with mango sorbet. Way too damn simple.



MANGO SORBET

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. vegan sugar


• 3/4 c. water


• Juice from one lime


• 2 mangos, peeled and chunked

DIRECTIONS:
Put the sugar and water in a small pot on the stove. Bring them to a boil while stirring frequently. Once sugar is dissolved, remove from heat. Place mango chunks and lime juice in a food processor. Once sugar-water mixture has cooled, add this to the food processor as well. Pulse until well-blended and smooth. Place in a metal pan of some sort (I used a cake pan) and put in freezer. After an hour or so, remove and whip a bit. Return to freezer, this time covered in plastic wrap. Let freeze until frozen completely.

Braised and Coffeed Seitan with Pine Nuts & Punky Mashed Taters

Oh glorious anger when my blog entry somehow doesn't get saved.

*Pitiful sniffle*

Anyways, as I mentioned yesterday, I was in the mood to do a bit of fall-cooking this weekend. So, inspired by the coffee-marinated tofu and seitan that What the Hell Does a Vegan Eat Anyways blogged about recently (yet one more reason I love you, Coffee!), I decided to track down some sort of coffee marinade of my own and do a bit of experimentation.

And there are a BUTTLOAD of coffee marinades on the internet, folks--who'da thunk it!

But after much roaming around, I decided to fiddle with THIS RECIPE. I had most of the ingredients, and it sounded like the kind of recipe that would make you feel all warm and cozy from the inside out.

I was not far off. If there's only one thing you take away from reading this little ramble about the seitan recipe I made this weekend, it's this:

IT TASTES LIKE CHRISTMAS!

I kid you not.

As I'm sure you can figure out, it's totally all about the cinnamon and cloves--they make you wanna sing carols and string popcorn around a Christmas tree.

I cannot wait 'til the holidays roll around, because I am *so* whipping this recipe out and wowing my friends and family with it. It is damn fricking good, ladies and gents. Damn fricking good. *AND* it's damn simple, to boot.

I was a bit leery at first, because it's a strange variety of ingredients. And after it marinated overnight, there was a weird film of scum along the top of the marinade (kinda like when Lake Erie is not looking so clean), and it had a strange kinda boogery slimey consistency (I can tell I'm *REALLY* getting your tastebuds going with *this* description). But lo and behold, this stuff knocked our socks off.

The seitan holds the marinade wonderfully, and it cooks up really delicately and tenderly. The final result is a rich and roasty, ridiculously tender seitan that will melt on your tongue with a wonderful Christmasy bouquet of flavors and put any fatty, gristly hunk of animal flesh to shame. Good stuff.

BRAISED AND COFFEED
SEITAN WITH PINENUTS



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup strong coffee


• 1/2 medium onion, diced


• 1/4 c. balsamic vinegar


• 3 T. packed brown sugar (I used light)


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 T. teriyaki sauce


• 2 cloves peeled garlic


• 1/2 t. ground cinnamon


• 1/2 t. ground ginger


• 1/4 t. ground cloves


• 1/4 t. crushed red pepper flakes or to taste


• Two 8/12 oz. packs of seitan (or you can make your own)


• 1/4-1/2 C. toasted pine nuts

DIRECTIONS:
Toss all the ingredients except for the seitan and pine nuts into a food processor. Process until pretty well-blended. Remove marinade and place in large, sealable container. Drain seitan. Place seitan in marinade. Refrigerate overnight (or at least a few hours).
To prepare: Heat up a large pan. Scoop out the chunks of seitan and toss into pan. Add enough marinade to the pan that it covers the bottom and the seitan is sitting a tiny bit deep in it. Cover and heat at medium heat for about 15 minutes or so, stirring occasionally. (This is considered stovetop braising, apparently--alternately, you could braise the seitan similarly in the oven.) Serve topped with the toasted pine nuts.

Serves 2-4 (depending on how hungry you are)

PUNKY MASHED TATERS



INGREDIENTS:

• About 4-5 blue potatoes


• About 4-6 little white potatoes


• Soy milk


• 1-2 T. vegan margarine


• 1 clove garlic, diced real tiny or pressed


• Dried rosemary


• Pine nuts

DIRECTIONS: Cube all your potatoes (but don't peel the skins off!). Toss into a pot of water. Boil potatoes until tender (about 15 minutes or so). Drain potatoes. Mash them up with a fork (but not completely--chunky mashed taters are da best!). Toss in about 1-2 T. of vegan margarine and your soy milk (how much you add of the latter will depend on how whippy you like your mashed potatoes, so I've not included measurements). Add garlic and dried rosemary. Top with toasted pine nuts.

I don't really know that the blue potatoes taste any differently or better than normal potatoes, but they SURE IS PRETTY!

(I didn't originally intend this dish to have pine nuts since the seitan already did, but since there were leftovers of the pine nuts, I just thought I'd toss some on top when I went back for seconds. Holy mother of god--I never would've guessed that some simple pine nuts could add so much to a potato recipe!)

(Blue taters are the COOLEST--even if
they DO look more purple than blue!)
Serves 2-4 (also depending on how hungry you are)

Really and truly, this is a damn good cold-weather meal. So store it away in the back of your brain (or in the back of your recipe box), and when you get in the mood to get yourself excited about winter and Christmas, pull this baby out.

Merry seitan to all, and to all a good night!