Pangea Cracks My Shit Up

So I just have to tell you all how much Pangea (The Vegan Store) cracked my shit up this morning. I ordered vegan condoms from them last week, and they showed up on my doorstep today in a box with the following label on it:



WHAAAAAAAAA-----?!?!

Whether it was intentional (which is MY guess) or just the universe amusing itself, it made me laugh out loud when I saw it.

So: props, Pangea. You guys rock!

Gnocchi of Guilt

So two posts in a week. AM I BLOWING YOUR MIND OR WHAT?!?

And it's actually a RECIPE POST!!!! *scraping chunks of your cerebrum off your blinds*

So yes: I am still getting a subscription to Vegetarian Times even though I make fun of it incessantly. And yes: I'm still cooking shit from it although I was a frequent complainer about the tepidness of their recipes. And yes: shock of shocks, I've been finding a string of good food in there as of late. So maybe they're not as hopeless as I'd thought (although again: you really COULD easily post vegan alternatives for many of your recipes, veg times, if you only took the time to add in an "or agave nectar" or "or vegan margarine" etc, but I WON'T GO THERE AGAIN because you've been doing good with the recipes so *deep cleansing breath*).

Anyways, last week I made the Gnocchi with Chickpeas and Seared Broccoli Raab on p. 36 of the Sept. 2010 issue, and DAMN was it good.

I DID end up having to sub in spinach for the broccoli raab though because a) I wasn't sure what broccoli raab even LOOKED like, so I spent like 20 minutes peering closely at various vegetables that looked SUSPICIOUSLY like they could be a raab but then were just, say, kale or something (still not sure what exactly it looks like), and because b) I had THIS conversation with the dude in the produce department:

ME: Excuse me. You don't happen to know if you guys carry broccoli raab, do you?

DUDE: [blank stare]

ME: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm not exactly sure what it looks like, so I can't tell if you have it and I'm just not seeing it or what.

DUDE: Broccoli, you say? We carry broccoli. [pointing at broccoli]

ME: Well, no. Broccoli RAAB. Apparently it's different?

DUDE: (looking puzzled and then getting excited and looking like he's had a sudden epiphany) Wait! Do you mean broccoli FLOR-ETS? [here he pronounces florets for me as though I am deeply mentally challenged and incapable of realizing that "raab" is actually pronounced "florets"--he points again at the broccoli]

ME: Um, nevermind.

So needless to say: substitution. That being said, it was a goddamn good substitution and I recommend it in case you are unable to locate broccoli raab (pronounced "florets"). Granted, you can't so much "sear" it, but it's still tasty.

And the recipe's super easy.

And it's got a lovely kind of flowery aromatic lushness to it that will make your tastebuds happy, namely due to the inclusion of reserved sundried tomato oil (so don't skimp and use olive oil or something).

Unfortunately, I did not take a picture of the dish, so instead, I give you a picture of my guilt:



INGREDIENTS:

• 8 oz. (1/2 package) gnocchi, such as Gia Russa)


• 8 oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and quartered, 2 T. oil reserved


• 1/2 c. reserved cooking water


• 1/2 onion thinly sliced


• 1 small bunch broccoli raab, stems trimmed, cut into 2-inch pieces (4 cups) OR 4 cups baby spinach, rinsed and destemmed


• 1 15-oz can chickpeas, rinsed and drained

DIRECTIONS

• Cook gnocchi according to package directions and drain, reserving 1/2 cup of cooking water.


• Heat reserved sun-dried tomato oil in large pot over medium-high heat. Add onion and cook 5 to 7 minutes or until beginning to brown. If using broccoli raab: increase heat to high and stir in broccoli raab. Cook 2 to 3 mins until it begins to wilt. If using spinach, well, actually: pretty much the same damn thing, so nevermind.


• Add sun-dried tomatoes, cooked gnocchi, and chickpeas and cook 2 to 3 mins more or until gnocchi begins to brown. Stir in reserved cooking water and season with salt and pepper, if desired.

(Recipe from Vegetarian Times, Sept. 2010, p. 36)

I Love Meeting Vegans...

It's like hanging with a best friend that you haven't seen in ten years.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of hanging with Kevin Miller. Dude is awesome. And has an inexplicable fetish for uneven sidewalks that thankfully Cleveland was able to please. Granted he's never seen (or even HEARD of) The Deer Hunter (I mean look at how pissed De Niro is that you've never heard of Deer Hunter, dude):


Fuck you and your pastries, Kevin Miller

so I couldn't make him squeal like a girl when we walked past the building where they shot the wedding ceremony, but he DID do some girly-squealing but only while mimicking ME destroying him at both pool and bar-bowling (WHAT WHAT POOL MASTER! *karate chopping the air*).

For those of you don't remember (or don't know), Kevin is the dude who won the coveted whisk "best in show" trophy at Cosmo's Vegan Shoppe Bake-Off a few years back.

And now he's opening his own bakery in Atlanta.

Check 'em out on Twitter and their up-and-coming web page.

Here he inexplicably eats a 13 in Cleveland:



Really, there's no better way to spend a night in Cleveland than eating a 13. (Well, and maybe also going to Tremont Scoops for vegan ice cream and then getting your ass kicked by a girl in pool at Prosperity Social Club.)

So anyways, go check him out. And if you're in Atlanta, go eat his grub.

Just look for the cool dude with the giant beard and the donuts.

(Hit me up again next time you're in CLE, KM!)