Toothy Bajingos and Snobby Joes

So I saw a movie about vagina dentata yesterday, and seriously: it was like the best horror flick I've seen in quite some time. It was so vag-clenchingly disturbing and horrible and yet wonderfully horrifically funny, that I can't stop talking about it today. Which is why I ramble on here as well. (What's even MORE disturbing is that at one point during the movie, which was fairly heavy with sex-scenes, I actually thought to myself, Man, I really needs to get me some action 'cause it's been a few months. And then immediately after thinking THAT, I thought to myself, Seriously, woman... If a movie about bajingos chomping on penii is making you want to get some action, that is really kind of disturbing and a good indicator that you really really DO need to get laid. Ha ha ha.)

Anyways, you can watch the trailer here--the trailer itself is its own little whimsical gem. It had people laughing out loud in the theater.



The movie itself had people shouting, moaning, laughing, and shifting uncomfortably in their seats as well.

It was a weirdly communal experience.

What any of this has to do with snobby joes I'm not really sure.

I could probably make some sort of connection, but it would entail talking about gory man-parts, so I'll just let it go.

Snobby Joes: I was skeptical. Lots of chili powder. And they didn't taste quite so sloppy-joe-ish when I nibbled straight from the pot. But slathered on a bun: delish. They are sloppy. They are snobby. They are 100% yum. And they are complaint-free.


(As you can see, even Zooey liked them)

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. uncooked lentils


• 4 c. water


• 1 T. olive oil


• 1 medium yellow onion, diced small


• 1 green pepper, diced small


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 3 T. chili powder


• 2 t. oregano


• salt, to taste


• 8-oz can tomato sauce


• 1/4 c. tomato paste


• 3 T. maple syrup


• 1 T. yellow mustard (wet mustard)


• 4 to 6 kaiser rolls or sesame buns (I used vegan potato rolls)

DIRECTIONS

Put the lentils in a small sauce pot and pour in 4 cups water. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, lower heat and simmer for about 20 minutes, until lentils are soft. Drain and set aside.

About 10 minutes before the lentils are done boiling, preheat a medium soup pot over medium heat. Saute the onion and pepper in the oil for about 7 minutes, until softened. Add the garlic and saute a minute more.

Add the cooked lentils, the chili powder, oregano and salt and mix. Add the tomato sauce and tomato paste. Cook for about 10 minutes. Add the maple syrup and mustard and heat through.

Turn the heat off and let sit for about 10 minutes, so that the flavors can meld, or go ahead and eat immediately if you can't wait. I like to serve these open faced, with a scoop of snobby joe on each slice of the bun.

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted at the ppk)