Veganomicon Pound Cake

                                       from Veganomicon

So for N/A's b-day, I baked him (by request) a pound cake.

Now, I'm not a fan of pound cake. Reason being, pound cake qualifies as "vanilla" flavored dessert. And as I've mentioned on prior occasions, when something is just "vanilla" I think of it in terms of being "plain"-flavored. So pound cake: boring. Especially since it isn't served with frosting. And that is essentially a crime within the cake community. Cake = frosting. So whatever, pound cake. Way to be a cake-wannabe.

Nonetheless: I dig the boy, so I baked one, using the recipe from Veganomicon.

And although it was good (both N/A and I liked it, and he alleges that one of his friends now has a crush on me after slamming like 3 pieces), it wasn't POUND cake. Granted, my knowledge of pound cake was always the shitty Entenmanns that my dad used to buy when we were little and that was both dense as fuck and dry as fuck. But isn't that the way that pound cake's SUPPOSED to be?

So to me, the Veganomicon recipe wasn't so much a pound cake recipe as it was a sweet-bread recipe. It has the same consistency and flavor-realm of, say, banana bread or something: squishy, sweet, and moist. So yeah: it was good. Though boring (but that's just my vanilla prejudice talking). But it wasn't pound cake.

All that aside though, what REALLY got my goat when making this recipe was this:

O'Soy soy yogurt is NOT VEGAN.

I don't know if any of you are consumers of their yogurt, but I've been on occasion for the last couple years. And from what I gather, at some point it WAS vegan (hence my confusion), but it isn't any longer. And apparently I missed that memo.

So imagine how super-pissed I was to find out, midway through a lunch snack with my excess yogurt this weekend, that it has milk-derived cultures in it.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF MAKING A SOY YOGURT IF IT'S GOT MILK-DERIVATIVES IN IT?!?! Seriously. That is THE dumbest motherf-ing thing I've ever heard.

It's like making a veggie burger that has beef broth as an ingredient. Idiotic.

O'Soy: please do suck my anus.

New Year's Resolutions & Spicy Vodka Lasagna

Wow.

So it's been like 3 weeks, give or take, since I last posted. Twenty-four whole days to be exact.

Madness.

But I must admit, during the time I was off from work, I didn't use the internet at all. Not even once. And *looking around to make sure no one's listening too closely* I LOVED IT. I know, I know. As a blogger, such a comment is like treason. But I've got to admit, it really was kind of great. NOT to get you scared. I *will* still be faithfully blogging here. But man oh man, is it nice once in a while to not be beholden to the interwebs. *sigh*

So yes: it's the New Year finally.

And I know a lot of hipsters think New Year's Resolutions to be uncool, but I'm not one of them.

So here's my list of New Year's Resolutions for 2009:

• Write more poetry/fiction--get a rhythm down so I'm not all rusty and clunking along anymore like a 5-legged robot.


• Stop drinking alcohol on weeknights, except on special occasions--this is a variation on the "lose weight" resolution that usually makes it on folks' lists. I could use a little bit of deflabbing, but I think indulging in alcohol only on the weekends is a good start.


• Keep up this winning-streak with N/A.


• More frequently place myself in situations that I would normally avoid due to uncomfortability.


• Get it on with your mom more often.


• Wow--I know I had some more when I was talking to N/A about them, but now I can't remember. *sigh*

Now onto the food!

Since the reason I haven't posted in so long is because of the holidays, let's start off with that for today.

I'm not religious. But I do like X-mas. There's just something warm & squishy about it--the hustle and bustle (as long as it doesn't include people getting trampled to death by crazed shoppers), the snow, snuggling under blankets with loved ones, X-mas lights, friends in town, my cat Zooey trying her damnedest to figure out how to reach my little X-mas tree. Good stuff.

This X-mas, I spent X-mas eve with N/A. And it was a wonderful and lovely night, one whose details I refuse to indulge 'cause they're what made it special. So MEH!!!!

X-mas day I spent dinner with (most of) the family. We accumulated at my mom's, and we chowed on delicious grub, boozed, and bullshit.

My mom made mushroom paprikash (w/the world's most perfect dumplings), black bean & corn salsa, and pumpkin oatmeal cookies. My brother whipped up some rice with peppers. And I scrounged together a lasagna and some VwaV chocolate chip cookies.

It was a DELICIOUS delicious night.

Most of the recipes have already been posted here, but the lasagna recipe was my own creation, so I'll post that at least today. It makes for a pretty hefty and spicy lasagna, one that even my brother (the constant vegan-skeptic) really liked. So enjoy!

Oh, and that there's a pic of what I think may be my favorite X-mas ornament, which my bff got me one year for X-mas. Doesn't it rock?

And now: Time to play catch-up on all the vegan blogs I've not read over the past three weeks. Wish me luck!

SPICY VODKA LASAGNA



INGREDIENTS:

• One batch vodka sauce--recipe below (I omitted the almonds, but I'm sure it'd taste just as good with them)


• One box of lasagna noodles, cooked


• One 1 lb. bag of veggie "ground-beef" crumbles


• One tube Gimme Lean "sausage"


• 3-5 cloves of garlic, minced


• 1-2 T. olive oil


• 2 t. Italian seasonings


• One batch of tofu-ricotta recipe below


• Vegan parmesan, to taste

DIRECTIONS

Whip up both the vodka sauce and tofu-ricotta according to the directions below. Follow the directions on the box of lasagna noodles and cook accordingly.

Heat up your olive oil in a large pan. Add garlic and cook until fragrant. Add your "sausage" and smoosh it up with a fork as it cooks. (It'll be mushy and clumpy at first, but as it begins to brown you can crumble it apart with a fork.) You'll want it to be the consistency of crumbles. Cook until browned. Add your "ground-beef" crumbles. Cook until browned and heated through. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400F. Spoon a thin layer of vodka sauce over the bottom of a lasagna pan. Cover with a layer of lasagna noodles. Cover with 1/2 the "meat" mix. Spoon out some vodka sauce over the meat and smooth. Cover with another layer of noodles. Smooth the tofu-ricotta across them. Add some more vodka sauce. Add another layer of noodles. Top with the rest of the "meat" and a little more sauce. Add a final layer of noodles and spoon out the rest of your vodka sauce over the top until noodles are totally covered. Sprinkle a generous amount of vegan parm over the top.

Cover with foil and cook for about 20 minutes. Remove foil and cook about 30-40 more minutes or until heated through.

Let cool for 10-15 minutes, slice, and serve.

Serves 7-10.




VODKA SAUCE

• 4 t. olive oil


• 8 cloves minced garlic


• 1/2 t. crushed red pepper


• Two 28-oz. cans crushed tomatoes


• 1/2 c. vodka


• 1/2 t. dried thyme


• 1/2 t. dried oregano


• Salt, to taste


• A few dashes fresh black pepper


• 1 c. sliced or slivered almonds


• 1/4 c. finely chopped fresh basil, plus a little extra for garnish

DIRECTIONS

Preheat a saucepan over medium/low heat. Add the oil, garlic and crushed red pepper to the saucepan and saute for about a minute, until fragrant, being careful not to burn. Add the crushed red tomatoes, vodka, thyme, oregano, salt and black pepper. Cover, and turn the heat up a bit to bring to a simmer for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Once the sauce has simmered for 20 minutes, add the almonds. Use an immersion blender to blend the almonds into the sauce until creamy and only slightly grainy. Add the basil to the sauce.

(Recipe from VwaV, Posted at Answers.yahoo.com)




TOFU-BASIL RICOTTA

• 1 lb. firm tofu, pressed


• 2 t. lemon juice


• 2 t. olive oil


• 1 clove garlic, minced


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1/4 c. nutritional yeast flakes


• handful fresh basil leaves, chopped fine (ten leaves or so) -I just used some dried basil


• dash fresh black pepper

DIRECTIONS

In a large bowl, mush the tofu up with your hands, till it's crumbly.

Add lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper and basil. Mush with hands again, this time you want it to get very mushy so squeeze through your fingers and mush until it reaches the consistency of ricotta cheese. May take 2-5 minutes.

Add olive oil, stir with fork. Add nutritional yeast and combine all ingredients well. Use a fork now, because the oil will make it sticky.

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted at Recipe Exchange)

PS. Anyone know what happened to the PPK website??

Mole Skillet Pie with Greens

                                    from Veganomicon

I'm pretty damn certain that the chile-chocolate mole sauce from Veganomicon is my absolute favorite recipe from the book. I had pondered this after first making it. But this second time around, I realized that I am 100% smitten.

There is just something goddamn sexy about that mole recipe. No matter WHAT you put it on, it turns the dish from Bugs Bunny to Jessica Rabbit, it's THAT kind of sauce. (I just realized that Jessica Rabbit isn't ACTUALLY a rabbit. God, I clearly haven't seen that movie in forever. But you get my point.)

Needless to say, I was also very found of this skillet pie as well, given that it's pretty much just a vehicle for eating mole sauce. Granted, the veggies and stuff are a nice touch, and the biscuit-topping was unusual but damn tasty. But it's kind of like when I order French fries and then load up on the ketchup so much so that I can barely taste the fries--essentially, the veggies and biscuits are just an excuse to eat mole.

Any which way though: this recipe isn't too terribly complicated, and it's a nice warming recipe for these upcoming blustery winter months.

INGREDIENTS:

The Mole Sauce:*

• 1/3 c. sliced almonds


• 1/3 c. tortilla chips


• 2 T. sesame seeds


• 1 t. anise


• 2 t. chili powder


• 1 1/4 t. cinnamon


• 1 t. marjoram


• 1/2 t. cumin


• 1/4 t. allspice


• 3 T. peanut oil (or other mild oil)


• 4 cloves garlic


• 1 small onion


• 2 c. veg broth


• 2 T. peanut butter


• 15 oz. tomatoes


• 3 oz. semisweet chocolate

(*Note: This makes a quantity in excess of the amount called for in the Mole Skillet Pie recipe. Just so you're aware. You'll have leftover sauce.)


The Skillet Pie:

• 3 T. peanut oil (or other mild oil)


• 1 yellow onion


• 1 small carrot


• 1/2 lb. kale


• 2 c. black beans


• 1 c. almond or soy milk


• 1 t. apple cider vinegar


• 3 T. peanut oil (or other mild oil)


• 1 c. whole wheat pastry flour (or whole wheat flour works as well)


• 1/2 c. cornmeal


• 1 T. sugar


• 1-1/4 t. baking powder


• 1/4 t. baking soda


• 1/4 t. salt

DIRECTIONS

For the Mole Sauce:

Prepare spice mixture. Place almonds, aniseeds, tortilla chips, and sesame seeds in a pot and stir to toast for 2 min. Remove from heat. Place in food processor with spices and pulse until finely ground.

Saute garlic in oil. Once it's sizzling, add onions and cook - 5 min. Combine PB and a few T of hot veg broth, stirring until PB is emulsified and easy to pour.

Pour remaining veg broth, PB mixture, spice mixture, and diced tomatoes into a pot. Boil. Lower heat and simmer 8-10 min, until reduced. Remove from heat, puree, and return to stove. Add chocolate until melted and incorporated. (Lindy Loo Note: I think the "returning mole to stove" step is kind of unnecessary myself, unless you're not planning on eating it for hours. You can just as easily simmer until reduced, toss in your chocolate until it's melted, remove from the heat and puree, and then serve.)

For the Skillet Pie:

Filling: Heat peanut oil. Add onion and saute 5 minutes. Add carrot and cook until onion is tender and golden - 5-6 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl and combine with steamed greans, beans, and 1 cup mole. Stir to coat everything with sauce. Place mixture back in skillet (or a casserole dish) and smooth out over top.

Crust: Combine milk and vinegar in measuring cup. Place oil in a large bowl, beat in milk mixture and sift in flour, cornmeal sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix until moistened. Pour over vegetables and smooth to cover. Bake 30-35 minutes.

(Posted at Calorie Count--the mole recipe as well, originally from Veganomicon)

I’ll Have the Slightly Sweaty Dark-Haired Boy with a Side of Olives Please

                                    from Veganomicon


So back in May, I was wholly lustful after garlic-stuffed olives from the olive bar at my local grocer's. I was obsessed. Thankfully the obsession petered out quickly. But not my love of olives as a species. Nowadays, I'll do them in pretty much any way, shape, or form.

Enter Veganomicon's Seitan Piccata with Olives and Greenbeans. This dish, oh this dish.

Now, I will tell you that N-A didn't like this dish very much at all. Then again, he's not a fan of a) seitan, b) olives, or c) onions/shallots. So. I suppose it only makes sense.

But oh oh oh did this dish enflame my passions! Veganmofo! Just the thought of it is making me a tad bit moist on the upper lip.

Granted, my seitan did not come out as firm as I would've liked, but regardless: Biting into the pungent kiss of kalamata olives and capers tempered by the suave smoothness of white wine and slightly sweet shallots was like falling into the warm lips of a slightly sweaty and salty-lipped dark-haired boy who's been sipping on wine all night and whose warm fingers keep absent-mindedly smoothing out the hem of your skirt while he speaks to you in husky whispers that make all your wine glasses hum with appreciation.

*Spilling water all over my dress just thinking about it*

And leftovers… Leftovers! They're like rolling over in bed the next morning to find the very same boy curled up next to you, his warm, slightly pungent breath spilling out onto your bare shoulder as he sleeps.

Uh huh.

*Fanning self*

And the unfortunate thing is that, after all that, this recipe isn't posted on-line for me to repost here.

So hopefully this entry will get you scurrying to the store asap, that way you can have some breathy dinner fun of your own.

BBQing with the P-A-R

I remembered pics today.

IN YOUR FACE!

And I am posting not one but TWO recipes. *Making you lick my asscheek as penance*

So yeah. I did lots of grilling out this weekend. My ex-bf's grill got left with me when he moved, and I've been making really good use of it, if I may say so myself. Which I will. Right now: "I've been making really good use of it."

I cooked out on Sunday with my family. And Friday night, we had a bit of an impromptu last-minute small-scale bbq as well, after initial plans of seeing a brilliant musician-acquaintance play-out fell through (he is fantastic, go check it out).

I called P.

P called A.

A punched a baby.

I called R.

R punched A.

And it was a PARTY (minus the TY). GET IT. P-A-R TY. BUDDUMMMM CHIIIII. Fucking shit--why are you not PAYING me for this???

Anyways, we grubbed it up with ribz. I got to watch P attempt to cut an onion without actually touching the onion with her hands which was truly the funniest thing ever. We boozed. And we dragged ass to the end of my street to catch fireworks.

When I suddenly realized mid-dinner that I had forgotten to take pics of food, P said, "You should take pictures of us EATING the food. I mean, you never really post pictures of people actually ENJOYING the food you make." And so it came to be that I took pics of P, A, and R stuffing face. And so it came to be that I realized part of the reason that I don't usually take pics of people eating food is that they somehow look kind of angry doing so. Nonetheless, I post. Pics have been altered to maintain anonymity.





As for the food: THE FOOD! The BBQ seitan ribz rocked out. They were everything everyone had said they would be. I actually had better luck with them on Sunday when I cooked them on foil though, I must admit. They came out crunchy but delectably tender in the middle. My bro (stouthearted meat-eater) said, Man, it's amazing that you can make this shit taste so good. He also coveted (COVETED) the homemade bbq sauce. He stole all the leftovers, threatening to eat it with a spoon later.

Friday P also whipped up the chickpea quinoa pilaf from Veganomicon, and I was surprised and pleased by how yummy it was. I actually liked it enough that I whipped up another batch last night for lunches for the week. I recommend.

So here you go. Finally some recipes.

You may now tell me how awesome I am.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd go!

BBQ SEITAN RIBZ


                                    from FatFree Vegan


INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. vital wheat gluten


• 2 t. smoked Spanish paprika


• 2 T. nutritional yeast


• 2 t. onion powder


• 1 t. garlic powder


• 3/4 c. water


• 2 T. tahini or other nut butter


• 1 t. Liquid Smoke


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 c. (give or take) of your favorite barbecue sauce (I used the Backyard BBQ Sauce from Veganomicon)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly spray an 8x8 baking dish with canola oil. Mix the first 5 ingredients together in a large bowl. Mix the water with the nut butter, Liquid Smoke, and soy sauce and add it to the dry ingredients. Stir to mix well and then knead lightly in the bowl for a couple of minutes.

Put the dough into the baking dish and flatten it so that it evenly fills the pan. Take a sharp knife and cut it into 8 strips; then turn the pan and cut those strips in half to form 16 pieces

Put it in the oven and bake for 25 minutes. While it's cooking prepare your grill.

Remove it from the oven and carefully re-cut each strip, going over each cut to make sure that the ribz will pull apart easily later. Generously brush the top with barbecue sauce. Take it to the grill and invert the whole baking dish onto the grill (or use a large spatula to lift the seitan out, placing it sauce-side down on the grill). Brush the top of the seitan with more sauce:

Watch it closely to make sure that it doesn't burn. When it's sufficiently brown on one side, turn over and cook the other side, adding more sauce, if necessary. When done, remove to a platter and cut or pull apart the individual ribs to serve.

(from FatFree Vegan)






CHICKPEA-QUINOA PILAF

                                    from Veganomicon

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. olive oil


• 1 small yellow onion, chopped


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/2 t. cumin


• 1 T. coriander seeds


• Several pinches of freshly ground pepper


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1 T. tomato paste


• 1 c. quinoa


• 15-oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed


• 2 c. vegetable broth or reconstituted bouillon

In a small stock-pot over medium heat, saute the onions in olive oil for about 7 minutes. Add the garlic and saute for 2 more minutes.

Add the tomato paste, coriander, cumin, black pepper, and salt. Saute for another minute.

Add the quinoa and saute for 2 minutes

Add the chickpeas and broth, cover and bring to a boil. Once the mixture is boiling, lower the heat to very low, cover, and cook for about 18 minutes, or until the quinoa mixture has completely absorbed the liquid. Stir occasionally. Fluff with fork and serve.

(from Veganomicon, as posted at Decoupage and Demitasse)

BBQ Black-Eyed Pea Collard Rolls

                                    from Veganomicon

I've been digging on collards lately, so I felt compelled to whip these up last week for lunches.

This is one of those relaxing recipes--lots of methodical rolling. And the results are wonderfully bright and summery-looking. Oh, and they also taste good. I ate them as leftovers all week, but I'm guessing they would probably be much better to serve immediately, instead of having them sit around in the fridge (which sogs them up a bit).



The Rolls

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 bunch of collard greens, 12 of the leaves set aside for rolling (pick out the biggest, nicest leaves of the bunch)


• 1 t. oil


• 8 oz. cremini mushrooms, sliced thinly (I could not track 8 oz. of these down, so I used a 4-oz. mix of cremini, oyster, and portabellas)


• 4 c. chopped collards


• 1 15-oz. can black-eyed peas, drained and rinsed


• 3 c. Backyard BBQ Sauce, recipe to follow

DIRECTIONS

Slice off the stems of 12 nice collard leaves (run a knife alongside either side of the stem and then cut it out of the leaf). Boil a large pot of water. Submerge the 12 collard leaves into the boiling water and cook for 6 minutes. When done, use tongs to transfer them to a strainer and let cool. Handle with care!

Preheat a large skillet over medium, and cook the mushrooms in the oil for 5 minutes. Add the chopped collards. Cook for 7-10 minutes until the moisture has cooked off. Add the peas and cook through. Pour on 2 cups of the BBQ sauce and cook until the wateriness is gone. (5-10 minutes). Let cool.

Place a collard on a flat work surface with the side that has not been sliced facing you. Place some of the black-eyed peas mixture in the lower third of the collard. (The recipe says to put 2 T. in each roll, but I was able to generously use 1/4 c. in each, with some of the black-eyed pea mix still left over. It'll all depend on the size of your leaves though.) Fold the bottom up over the mixture, then fold in the sides. Roll the collard up, gently but firmly.

Roll all the collards. When ready to serve, spoon extra BBQ sauce over the rolls.




Easy-Peasy Backyard BBQ Sauce

(makes 4 cups)

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 T. canola oil


• 1 medium yellow onion, chopped very finely


• 4 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1 tsp red pepper flakes


• 1 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes


• 1/3 c. molasses


• 1/3 c. white vinegar


• 1 T. sugar


• 1 T. yellow mustard


• 2 t. liquid smoke (find in the condiments section)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat a saucepan over medium heat. Cook the onions in the oil until browned, about 7 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add all ingredients from salt through sugar, and cook from 30 minutes to an hour, uncovered, stirring occasionally. Lower the heat if the sauce begins to splatter.

Add the mustard and liquid smoke, and taste. Adjust the flavours if you prefer it sweeter or more sour, and cook for another 5 minutes. If you like your BBQ sauce smooth, grab your blender and puree, but it’s still yummy as a chunky sauce.

(from Veganomicon, recipe posted at Fresh Cracked Pepper)

Cookouts and Flavor Flav

So yes: like most of you, I cooked out on Memorial Day Weekend. Actually more than once. I forgot to take pictures at the first cookout though, which is a shame because there was some good stuff there, like my mom's vegan taco pizza, for example. But oh well.

My second cookout was at my friend P's and was very laid back and feminist-ic. We sat out on her huge voluptuous porch. I cooked burgers on my ex's little grill. We talked about books we were reading, bands, some really bad movies that we're fond of. One of P's friends quietly knitted while we sat and bullshit. It was a nice nice day.

I whipped up some peanut burgers with satay sauce for everyone and dragged along some of Veganomicon's blinding potato salad. P made a delicious chickpea salad with basil and mint (recipe hopefully forthcoming). And we battled it out upon realizing we'd both baked VwaV chocolate chip cookies.

The peanut burgers were decent--nothing special. Though I must say, coupled with the peanut satay sauce, they were quite scrumptious. (The sauce isn't exactly the epitome of healthiness though.) The potato salad, on the other hand, I found sorely disappointing. My mom's boyfriend liked it a lot when I brought it to my brother's cookout, but I just thought it was bland bland bland. Then again, I'm kind of a traditionalist when it comes to potato salad, so maybe THAT'S why I didn't like it? Who knows. But honest to god, I found it really super-boring on the flavor front.



Nonetheless, I post both recipes here. If you DO go the bean-burger route, definitely try it with the satay sauce. It adds a much-need oomph.




Peanut Burgers with Satay Sauce



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. TVP granules


• 1 scant c. boiling water


• 1 T. tomato paste or ketchup


• 1 16-oz can pinto, kidney, or other beans, drained (I used kidney)


• 1/4 c. whole wheat bread crumbs (I used panko)


• 2 cloves garlic, finely minced


• 1/2 t. ginger powder


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 t. sugar


• 1/4 c. chopped peanuts


• salt and pepper to taste


• whole wheat flour for dusting

DIRECTIONS

Pour boiling water over TVP and tomato paste in a bowl. Stir and let rest for 10 minutes.

In food processor, combine TVP mixture and remaining ingredients except for flour and peanuts. Pulse until mixture is almost a puree. During the last pulse, add peanuts. Pulse just enough to mix.

Dust hands with flour and shape mixture into 6 burgers. Dust them lightly in flour. Layer the burgers with sheets of waxed paper and refrigerate for at least one hour.

Cook on a grill covered with foil for about 10 minutes on each side.



Satay Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 small onion, minced


• 1 clove garlic, minced


• 1 small chili pepper, chopped (or alternately, red pepper flakes to taste


• 1 t. sesame oil


• 1 c. natural chunky peanut butter (make sure it's natural--I made the mistake of not doing so, and it coagulated very strangely)


• 1/4 c. teriyaki sauce


• 2 t. brown sugar (or regular sugar works too)


• 1/4 c. water


• 1 t. tomato paste


• 1 t. sesame tahini


• salt & pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

In a heavy saucepan saute the onion, garlic, and chili pepper in the sesame oil.

When translucent, add the peanut butter and stir until melted.

Add the rest of the ingredients. Simmer over medium heat for 10 minutes.

Serve over grilled peanut burgers.
(Posted at Award-Winning Veggie Burger Recipes)




Prospect Park Potato Salad


                                    from Veganomicon

INGREDIENTS:

• 5 lbs. potato, washed and peeled (I used red, I think the original recipe calls for yukon gold maybe?)


• 1 seedless cucumber, sliced thinly


• 1 large carrot, peeled and grated


• 1 c. vegan mayonnaise


• 1/4 c. Dijon mustard (whole grain)


• 1/4 c. olive oil


• 1/3 c. white vinegar


• 2 T. sugar


• 1 T. dried dill


• 1 t. turmeric


• 1.5 t. salt (to taste)


• 1 t. fresh ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Slice the potatoes between 1/2 and 1/4 inch thick. (If potatoes are large they can be cut into halves or thirds before slicing.)

Place potatoes into large stockpot, and fill with cold water about 4 inches above the top of potatoes.

Bring to a boil for about 15 minutes or until potato can be pierced easily with a fork. (With red potatoes, this took only about 5 minutes.)

While the potatoes boil, prepare the dressing.

If making the whole recipe, you will need the larges mixing bowl you have in order to add the potatoes later on.

Mix the vegan mayo, mustard, olive oil, sugar, vinegar, dill, turmeric, sal and pepper. Wisk together briskly. Add sliced cucumbers and place in the fridge until potatoes are ready.

When potatoes are done, drain and rise them quickly under cold water. Be sure to shake off any excess water. Add potatoes to the dressing and mix well.

Top with grated carrots and mix. Check seasoning and adjust as needed.

Refrigerate until ready to serve.

(from Veganomicon, posted at Recipezaar)

Maple Mustard-Glazed Potatoes and String Beans

                                    from Vegan with a Vengeance

I made these maple mustard-glazed potatoes and string beans (from VwaV) this weekend when one of my friends came over for dinner (I subbed in red potatoes for the yukon golds). And MAN were they fricking good. I post them today because they'd actually make a really fantastic side for a barbecue, especially since they really DO taste best at room temperature. They are sweet, sticky, mustardy, and just super f-ing yum.

The only thing that weirded me out about them was the green beans. By the time the potatoes were totally done cooking, the green beans looked kind of like crusty sidewalk worms--you know, the kind that get somehow get themselves stuck in the middle of the pavement right before the hot midday sun appears. They tasted really good, but attractive they were not. So... I'd recommend maybe waiting until you remove your foil and lower your oven temperature to throw them in with your potatoes. But that's just me. If you're into shriveled sidewalk worms, by all means, ignore me. (I have altered the recipe directions to reflect the change though. Just FYI.)

And now, a related question:

I know that Dijon mustard and red wine vinegar are both frequently used in vegan recipes, but I've always been a bit flummoxed about which brands to buy for each, because both contain wine, and most wines are not vegan. I usually just end up using balsamic vinegar instead. So my question is: How do you all go about selecting your dijon mustards and red wine vinegars? Do you KNOW of specific vegan brands? Or do you just say, fuck it, and buy whatever's available? (The dijon mustard is actually not as much of an issue for me anymore since I did finally find one that contains neither honey nor white wine. But I figured I'd toss that it out there anyways.)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 lbs. small Yukon gold potatoes (halved, about 1 inch pieces)


• 1/2 lb. string beans, halved, ends cut off and discarded


• 1 yellow onion, thickly sliced


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 3 T. tamari or soy sauce


• 1/4 c. pure maple syrup


• 3 T. Dijon mustard


• 2 T. olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 400. Put the potatoes in a 9x13 inch casserole dish (or rimmed pan). Stir together the remaining ingredients until the mustard is dissolved. Pour over the potatoes and mix well. Cover with foil and put in oven. Bake for 25 minutes. Removed from oven, add the green beans, and toss. Turn oven down to 350 and cook for 25 minutes uncovered. Remove from oven and toss again, cook for 25 minutes more uncovered. Let them cool down a bit after they are cooked so that the sauce becomes more sticky. Best served at room temperature.

(Recipe as posted at Stivers' Family Update, originally from Vegan with a Vengeance)

Corn and Edamame-Sesame Salad

                                    from Veganomicon



For some reason, eating shelled edamame reminds me of eating many tiny Kermits.




Seriously.

Which would be vegan, I believe, seeing as Kermit (close your ears, kiddies) is just a puppet. And unless you took a nice big chunk out of the hand underneath, all you'd really be feasting on is felt.

So yeah: many tiny Kermits.

All in all, I liked this salad. It's nice, crisp, spring-like, and simple. I served it over some greens, and it's made for a tasty (though unfortunately not super-filling) lunch.

I must take pause though to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart, and that is the topic of lettuce salads. I hate them. Lettuce salads are, to me, akin to fingernails on a blackboard. As soon as you toss lettuce into any salad I'm eating, I am promptly bored with it.

Things that I find strange about lettuce salads:

1. Why would ANYONE ever order a lettuce-salad at a restaurant FOR THEIR MEAL? This blows my mind. No matter HOW much shit you soup that thing up with--fancy rims, spoilers, bass, etc.--it STILL JUST TASTES LIKE A BORING LETTUCE SALAD. So why would you go out to eat AND ORDER ONE? Seriously. Especially when they're typically RETARDEDLY overpriced. $9 for a lettuce salad? F-ing bite me, dude. When I see people actually ORDER these at restaurants, I always suspect that perhaps their bodies have actually been taken over by pod-people. Go wander into someone's garden and just start gnawing, for god's sake. Save yourself 9 excruciating bucks.


2. Why would you ever MAKE one of these as a meal at home? I mean, unless all your limbs have been chopped off while you are simultaneously (and inexplicably) filled with an excruciating and insatiable hunger, and the only thing that you can possibly do (after FINALLY getting that damn refrigerator door open with your stumps) is rip open a bag of loose-greens with your teeth and then start a-gnawing, why would you EVER make this choice? There's SO much more interesting stuff to make. Other than flaccid boring unoriginal lettuce. OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY. I have never once thought, in my whole life, man, I really think I'd just like me a nice bowl of lettuce with some shit thrown on top of it.


3. I feel like I had a third thing to ramble about, but I've gotten all flustered and overly-excited in shouting about the first two that I forget what it is. So: on to the recipe.

INGREDIENTS:

Dressing:

• 2 T. toasted sesame oil


• 1 T. rice vinegar (or any vinegar works fine)


• 2 t. tamari or soy sauce

Salad:

• 2 c. frozen, shelled edamame


• 1 c. fresh corn (1 or 2 ear, depending on the size) or partially frozen corn


• 2 T. toasted sesame seeds


• Generous pinch of salt

DIRECTIONS

Bring a a big pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, whisk all the dressing ingredients in a medium-size mixing bowl.

Boil the edamame for 3 minutes. Add the corn and boil for another 2 minutes. Drain into a colander and run under cold water until cool enough to touch. Add the edamame and corn to the dressing and toss to combine. Add the sesame seeds and toss again. Salt to taste. Cover and chill at least 15 minutes. Yum!

(As posted on Splendid Sustenance)

Mole Porn

from Veganomicon

(Ok. Not really mole porn. But that should definitely yield for some interesting new google-searches.)

"Since when is eating moles vegan?" Buddddummmm chiiiii.

That, my friends, was my friend QBL's response when I began to go on and on about what a good recipe this is.



She is about as funny as a turnip. YOU HEARD ME, QBL!

Anyways: alas, no one has yet posted the Veganomicon mole recipe, so you won't find it reposted here today. But let me just tell you: it's totally worth tracking down the cookbook just for this recipe. Holy motha.

And I didn't even use the GOOD shit when it came to the a) chocolate and b) chili powder. I used Trader Joe's semi-sweet chocolate chips and shitty 99-cent chili powder. And yet, AND YET, I wanted to fill my bathtub up with this and roll around in it buck-nekkid except for maybe a small hat made out of tortillas. I can only imagine what would've happened if I had splurged and bought some fancy chocolate and some good chipotle chili powder. My nipples probably would've caught fire.

As you can see in the pic above, I served it over blobby, undiscernable items, namely seitan and zucchini, on a bed of quinoa. And man alive was it good.

It's nutty. It's rich. It's got kick. It's got weird texture but in a good way. It's chocolatey. And it's just sexy as fuck. Truly.

Make it. Douse your tacos with it. Douse your stirfried veggies with it. Douse your nekkid significant other with it. It's all good. Trust me.

UPDATE!!! Mole recipe now posted **HERE**!!!

Lower-Fat Banana Bread

                         from Veganomicon

Let's just say that I think I ate FOUR slices of this on Tuesday. Not one. Not two. Not three. But four. (Technically, I lost count after two, but I think that might've just been because I was so horrified with myself that I suppressed any and all information relevant to the disgusting quantity of banana bread I'd just consumed.)

Needless to say, I really really liked this recipe. I ended up only using 2 smaller bananas, but it was WONDERFULLY moist and flavorful. And I added in semi-sweet chocolate chips (which of course de-lower-fattened it, but I'm sorry--chocolate and bananas rock the hell OUT).

I have to say, despite past Veganomicon failures, as a cookbook, it is an undeniable score in the way of dessert recipes. The ones I've made thus far have been definite favs.

And banana bread? Well, I always associate it with old ladies and saggy granny-panties and powdery-smelling wigs and slightly moth-bally aprons. (Which, yes, is probably slightly judgmental on my part. But SUCK IT.) But THIS banana bread, well, it was all shiny motorcycles and bouncing through the air on a trampoline and skinny-dipping and tattoos. (Yes, I am ALSO puzzled by what my brain just came up with as the antithesis of old-ladyishness. But again: SUCK IT.) So yeah: try it. You'll like it.

Oh, and a random shout out to What the Hell Does a Pinkhaired Girl Eat? I dig how she labels her pics, SO I'M PLAGIARIZING IT! All in love, babies. All in love. (Now go check out her blog.)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 large or 3 small very ripe bananas (I used only 2 small and it still came out fine)


• 1/4 c. applesauce


• 1/4 c. canola oil


• 1/2 c. sugar


• 2 T. molasses


• 2 c. all-purpose flour


• 3/4 t. baking soda


• 1 t. ground cinnamon


• 1/4 t. ground nutmeg


• 1/2 t. salt


• Semi-sweet chocolate chips (I probably used 1/2 c. maybe? I didn't measure it)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease a 9x5 loaf pan (or muffin tins)

In a large mixing bowl, mash the bananas really well. Add sugar, applesauce, oil, and molasses, and whisk briskly to incorporate.

Sift in the flour, baking soda, spices, salt. Use a wooden spoon to mix until the wet/dry ingredients are just combined. Fold in chocolate chips/nuts if using.

Transfer batter to prepared pan and bake for 45-50 min. The top should be lightly browned and a knife inserted should be clean.

Remove from oven and invert onto a cooling rack. Flip right side up and cool.

Note: If making muffins, cook for 18 minutes!

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted HERE)

Fudgy Wudgy Blueberry Brownies

Ok. Yeah. So they were ugly as shit. And they were crumbly as a motherf-er.

But MOTHER OF GOD were they heavenly.

What am I talking about?

Your mom?

You wish.

I'm talking about the fudgy wudgy blueberry brownies from Veganomicon, most certainly one of my favorite recipes from the cookbook thus far. I know I've given the cookbook a bit of a hard time on occasion (though I think it's been justifiable), but seriously: well worth the money spent if for no other recipe but this one.

I'm not sure why mine turned out so crumbly and un-brownie-like, especially when the pics of them IN the actual book were all dense and heavy-duty-brownie-esque-looking (yes, that is a word), but they were. (The only thing I can think of, now that I *AM* thinking about it some more, is that perhaps the fact that I used FROZEN blueberries instead of fresh somehow got all Mr. Wizardy on these brownies' asses and somehow altered the chemical composition of them. CO2 and NA and O2 and K. Or something.) Then again, they seriously were so good that I didn't care. And no one else who tried them complained a bit either.



Decadent. Uber-chocolatey. Delightfully complimented by mouth-watering blueberries. These things are the cat's meow.

INGREDIENTS:

• 2/3 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips + 1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips


• 10 oz. blueberry preserves (spreadable fruit, smooth, no whole blueberries)


• 1/4 c. soymilk


• 3/4 c. sugar


• 1/2 c. canola oil


• 2 t. vanilla extract


• 1/2 t. almond extract


• 1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour


• 1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder


• 1/4 t. baking powder


• 1/2 t. baking soda


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1 cup fresh blueberries

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 325F.

Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.

Melt 2/3 cup chocolate chips over a double boiler or in microwave, your choice.

In a large mixing bowl combine bluberry spreadable fruit, soy milk, sugar, canola oil and extracts. Mix on high until no large clumps are visible, about 2-3 minutes. Sift in flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir until well mixed, batter will be thick. Mix in melted chocolate. Fold in remaining 1/2 cup of whole chocolate chips and fresh blueberries.

Spread batter in baking pan and bake for 45 minutes. Toothpick test is null and void here because the whole chocolate chips will stick anyway!

Remove from oven and let cool.

Enjoy!

(Recipe originally from Veganomicon, posted at Recipezaar)

Toothy Bajingos and Snobby Joes

So I saw a movie about vagina dentata yesterday, and seriously: it was like the best horror flick I've seen in quite some time. It was so vag-clenchingly disturbing and horrible and yet wonderfully horrifically funny, that I can't stop talking about it today. Which is why I ramble on here as well. (What's even MORE disturbing is that at one point during the movie, which was fairly heavy with sex-scenes, I actually thought to myself, Man, I really needs to get me some action 'cause it's been a few months. And then immediately after thinking THAT, I thought to myself, Seriously, woman... If a movie about bajingos chomping on penii is making you want to get some action, that is really kind of disturbing and a good indicator that you really really DO need to get laid. Ha ha ha.)

Anyways, you can watch the trailer here--the trailer itself is its own little whimsical gem. It had people laughing out loud in the theater.



The movie itself had people shouting, moaning, laughing, and shifting uncomfortably in their seats as well.

It was a weirdly communal experience.

What any of this has to do with snobby joes I'm not really sure.

I could probably make some sort of connection, but it would entail talking about gory man-parts, so I'll just let it go.

Snobby Joes: I was skeptical. Lots of chili powder. And they didn't taste quite so sloppy-joe-ish when I nibbled straight from the pot. But slathered on a bun: delish. They are sloppy. They are snobby. They are 100% yum. And they are complaint-free.


(As you can see, even Zooey liked them)

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. uncooked lentils


• 4 c. water


• 1 T. olive oil


• 1 medium yellow onion, diced small


• 1 green pepper, diced small


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 3 T. chili powder


• 2 t. oregano


• salt, to taste


• 8-oz can tomato sauce


• 1/4 c. tomato paste


• 3 T. maple syrup


• 1 T. yellow mustard (wet mustard)


• 4 to 6 kaiser rolls or sesame buns (I used vegan potato rolls)

DIRECTIONS

Put the lentils in a small sauce pot and pour in 4 cups water. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, lower heat and simmer for about 20 minutes, until lentils are soft. Drain and set aside.

About 10 minutes before the lentils are done boiling, preheat a medium soup pot over medium heat. Saute the onion and pepper in the oil for about 7 minutes, until softened. Add the garlic and saute a minute more.

Add the cooked lentils, the chili powder, oregano and salt and mix. Add the tomato sauce and tomato paste. Cook for about 10 minutes. Add the maple syrup and mustard and heat through.

Turn the heat off and let sit for about 10 minutes, so that the flavors can meld, or go ahead and eat immediately if you can't wait. I like to serve these open faced, with a scoop of snobby joe on each slice of the bun.

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted at the ppk)

Eggplant-Potato Moussaka with Pine Nut Cream

Worst picture ever,
so suck it!

I've gotta admit. This recipe pissed me off a little bit. Not in the taste or quality, but measurement-wise.

I mentioned about a month ago that the measurements appeared to be off for the Veganomicon beanballs, resulting in many complaints across the internet that the beanballs were mushy and kind of gross. I bitched about it. Then I got over it.

This time, however, I was making the moussaka for the holidays. And when you're making it for not one, not two, but THREE TO SIX PEOPLE, you want it to come out correctly.

And there is NO WAY IN HELL that the quantity of potatoes and eggplant can completely cover (without enormous gaps) the size of the pan the recipe calls for--and I even got a 1.25 lb. eggplant, for god's sake (I saw the dude weigh it). As I was layering them, I found myself muttering little cusswords under my breath, ones that I shan't revisit here.

Needless to say, if you're gonna make this, you need more eggplant and potatoes. So I've bumped up the measurements. Could you end up making too much of both with the new measurements below? It's possible. But I think there's a better chance of not having a layering fiasco if you double both quantities. Plus, it'll make it somewhat more feasible for the moussaka TO STAY TOGETHER instead of falling apart whenever you try to scoop out a piece. It's all about the layering, babies.

All that being said, I *DID* like this dish. Did it blow my mind? Not really. Was it nonetheless tasty? Heck yeah. Do I think the pine-nut cream was a LITTLE bit overhyped? *COUyesGH* But there WAS definitely something attractive about the tomato-cinnamon interminglings. And I love me some roasted eggplant.

*AND* Sam, the 7-year old son of a guy my mom's been seeing, gave it a hearty thumb's up, without me even asking. And apparently he's a picky eater. And he's 7, and 7-year olds usually aren't big fans of weird dishes like moussaka. (In return for his compliment, I then DESTROYED him at Spongebob Uno! Ok. Not really. He totally kicked me and my mom's ass. *sigh*)

Recipe........ GO!


INGREDIENTS:

Vegetable Layer


• 2 lbs. eggplant*


• 1 lb. zucchini


• 3 lbs. russet or baking potatoes*


• 1/4 c. olive oil



Sauce


• 1/4 c. olive oil


• 4 large shallots, sliced thinly


• 3 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/3 c. vegetable broth or red wine


• Two 15-oz cans crushed tomatoes


• 2 t. dried oregano


• 1/4 t. ground cinnamon


• 1 bay leaf


• Salt



Pine Nut Cream


• 1 lb. silken tofu


• 1/2 c. pine nuts, plus additional for garnish


• 3 T. lemon juice


• 1 t. arrowroot powder (I used cornstarch, I forget what the conversion equivalent is)


• 1 clove garlic


• Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg


• Salt, to taste


• White pepper



• 1/2 c. dry, fine white breadcrumbs

DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 400F. Lightly oil three baking sheets or shallow pans.

Prepare the vegetables:

Wash the eggplant and zucchini, and trim the stems. Scrub and peel the potatoes. Slice the eggplant, zucchini, and potatoes lengthwise into approximately 1/4 inch thick slices. (Make sure the potatoes in particular are sliced thin enough, otherwise they will either take a long time to cook through or be hard.) Rub the eggplant slices with a little salt and set aside in a colander in the sink or in a big bowl for about 15 minutes to drain. Briefly rinse with cold water and pat dry with a paper towel.

Place each vegetable on a separate baking sheet. Distribute the 1/4 c. of oil among the three and sprinkle the vegetables with salt (except eggplant). Toss to coat the vegetables on each sheet, making sure each piece is completely coated with oil. Drizzle a little extra oil on the eggplant, as it has a slight tendency to stick. Spread out the vegetables on each sheet; some overlapping is okay. Roast the pans of zucchini and eggplant for 15 minutes, or until tender. Roast the potatoes for about 20 to 22 minutes, until the edges are lightly browned. Allow the vegetables to cool.

While the vegetables are cooking, prepare the tomato sauce:

Combine the remaining 1/4 c. olive oil and minced garlic in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan. Heat over medium heat and let the garlic sizzle for about 30 seconds, then add the shallots and cook until soft and translucent, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the wine/broth and simmer until slightly reduced, another 3 minutes. Add the crushed tomatoes, oregano, ground cinnamon, and bay leaf. Partially cover and simmer over medium-low heat for 12 to 14 minutes, stirring occasionally. The sauce should reduce slightly. Turn off the heat, remove the bay leaf, and adjust the salt.

Make the pine nut cream:

In a food processor, blend the pine nuts and lemon juice, scraping the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, until a creamy paste forms. Add the tofu, garlic, arrowroot, nutmeg, salt, and white pepper. Blend until creamy and smooth.

Final assembly:

Lightly oil a 9 x 13 pan and preheat the oven again to 400F, if necessary. Spread 1/4 c of sauce on the pan, then add successive layers in order of eggplant, potatoes, sauce, and half the bread crumbs. Spread all the zucchini on top of this. Top with a final layer each of eggplant, potatoes, sauce, and bread crumbs. Use a rubber spatula to evenly spread the pine nut cream over the entire top layer. Scatter a few pine nuts on top, if desired.

Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until the top is lightly browned and a few cracks have formed in the topping. Allow to cool 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Notes from the book

The zucchini will likely be very water after roasting, so when it's cool enough to touch, gently but firmly squeeze the slices, by the handful, to remove any excess water. This will prevent an overly wet casserole and will help concentrate the flavors.

(Recipe posted at Veggie Diaries, originally from Veganomicon)

Leek and Bean Cassoulet with Biscuits

After admitting my lustiness for leeks last week (that was very alliterative), I of course couldn't pass up this recipe from Veganomicon. So I made it. And it was good.

For once, I didn't fuss with or alter anything. (Ok, after writing this out, I realized I just lied: I used dried thyme instead of fresh. Sue me.) The only change I was forced to make was to bake this in two separate casserole dishes (since I don't have an oven-safe skillet, and since I don't have a really BIG casserole dish). I probably should've left the biscuits in to cook longer, but I didn't. So they kind of look like pasty white-boy ass-cheeks that haven't seen the sun in years. But they still tasted good.

The only bad thing about this "cassoulet" is that it doesn't make for the bestest leftovers. Everything congeals, and it ends up being kind of dry.

But that's ok: it'll just give you an excuse to get a few people over to chow down on it with you the first night so that you don't have to deal with pasty-ass leftovers.

INGREDIENTS:

Stew:


• 2 Yukon gold potatoes, cut into 1/2-inch dice


• 3 c. vegetable broth


• 3 T. cornstarch


• 2 T. olive oil


• 2 leeks, washed well and sliced thinly (about 2 c.)


• 1 small onion, cut into medium-size dice


• 1.5 c. carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch dice (I just used 1.5 c. shredded carrots)


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 1 heaping Tablespoon chopped fresh thyme, plus extra for garnish (I used 1 t. dried thyme)


• Several pinches of freshly ground black pepper


• 1/2 t. salt (more or less depending on how salty your broth is, so taste it first)


• 3/4 c. frozen peas


• 1 15-oz can navy beans, drained and rinsed


Biscuits:


• 3/4 c. plain soymilk


• 1 t. apple cider vinegar


• 1.5 c. all-purpose flour


• 2 t. baking powder


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1/4 c. nonhydrogenated vegan shortening (like Earth Balance or Spectrum)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 425F.

Place the potatoes in a small pot and cover with water. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, let cook for about 10 minutes, until the potatoes are just tender enough to be pierced with a fork. Drain immediately so they do not overcook. While they are boiling, you can prep the rest of the veggies and start preparing the biscuits - the potatoes should definitely be done by the time you are.

Now, prepare everything for the biscuits. You're not going to make them yet, but it's good to have everything ready when it comes time to top the stew. Add the vinegar to the soy milk in a measuring cup and set aside to curdle. Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium-sized bowl.

Now leave that alone and start the stew. Mix the cornstarch into the vegetable stock until dissolved.

Preheat an oven-safe skillet, preferably cast iron, over medium heat. Saute in the oil the leeks, onions, and carrots until very soft and just beginning to brown, about 10 minutes. Keep the heat moderate so that they don't burn.

Add the garlic, thyme, freshly ground black pepper and salt, and cook for 1 more minute. Add the cooked potatoes and frozen peas, then pour in the vegetable stock mixture. Raise the heat just a bit; it will take a few minutes but the liquid will start simmering. Once it does, lower the heat again. Let it simmer for about 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, but no longer than that. If you need more time for the biscuits, then turn off the heat under the stew.

Back to the biscuits: Add the shortening to the flour in small slivers and work it into the dough with a fork or with your fingers until large crumbs form. You don't want to cream it in; there should be clumps. Drizzle in the soy milk and mix with a fork until everything is moistened (some dry parts are okay).

Wash and dry your hands, then lightly flour them and get them dirty again. Gently knead the dough about ten times right in the bowl, just so that it is holding together and not very sticky. If it seems sticky, as in sticking to your fingers, then gently work in a little more flour. Set that aside and check on your stew.

The stew should be simmering and slightly thickened. Mix in the beans.

At this point, if you're using a casserole dish (or more than one casserole dish), you'll want to transfer the stew from your skillet into your casserole dishes.

Now, let's add the biscuits. Pull off chunks of dough that are about slightly larger than golf balls. Gently roll them into balls and flatten a bit; they do not have to be perfectly round. Add them to the top of the stew, placed an inch or so apart.

Transfer the whole megillah to the preheated oven. If you are worried about spillover, place it on a rimmed baking sheet, but we've never had that problem. Bake for about 15 minutes. The biscuits should be just slightly browned and firm to the touch. (If you use two casserole dishes, you'll probably want to add on a few minutes, until the biscuits are slightly golden.)

Remove from the oven and use a large serving spoon to place some of the stew and a biscuit in each shallow, individual bowl. Sprinkle with a little chopped, fresh thyme.

Serve at last! Especially yummy when you break up your biscuit and mix it in a bit with your stew.

Makes 6 servings.

(Recipe posted at Vegan Chicks Rock, originally from Veganomicon)

Tomato and Roasted Eggplant Fettucine with Chickpeas

Because I do not learn from my mistakes (in more ways than I can count on my three nipples), I of course blundered into the "Tomato and Roasted Eggplant Stew with Chickpeas" recipe from Veganomicon without realizing that I didn't have one of the key spices for it at home. Go figure. And then, on top of that, one of the eggplants, whose resiliency in my fridge I was banking on in order to be able to make this, was all sorts of moldy when I took it out of the bag. It sorta looked like THIS dude from that horrible William Shatner movie, Kingdom of the Spiders:




So I ended up altering the recipe quite a bit. Which is why I post it here, without TOO much remorse. You won't be getting what you'd get out of the book, so if that's what you done want then you best get to getting the book! Get it?

Anyways, I didn't have tarragon (but thought I did) so I ended up subbing in marjoram. (Seriously: I'm starting to think that marjoram is an awesome wonder-spice or something.) And I only used one eggplant. Since I knew that would mean way more liquid without a second eggplant, I decided to fill up the dish with fettucine noodles instead. And I made a few other minopr adjustments as well, just for shits and giggles.

And holy crap: The magic! I gave some to my mom to try, and she called me up immediately after eating it, demanding that I pass along the recipe. So pass it along I do.

I plan to make the stew as it stands in the cookbook sometime in the near future to compare. I suspect the results are not REMARKABLY different. But man, if that buttery, sexy eggplant doesn't meld particularly masterfully with the robust flavor of tomatoes and red peppers when coupled with some long, slippery fettucine noodles. Mmmm mmm.

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 T. olive oil


• 1 large eggplant


• 1 bulb garlic


• 2 red bell peppers, stems and seeds removed, sliced in half length-wise


• 2 small white onions, sliced into thin half-moons


• 1/2 c. white wine (I used Pinot Grigio)


• 1 t. dried marjoram


• 1 t. dried thyme


• 1 t. ground coriander


• 1/2 t. paprika


• A bit of freshly-ground black pepper, to taste


• 2 bay leaves


• 1 28-oz can whole peeled tomatoes


• 1 15-oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed


• 1 lb. fettucine noodles, cooked

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 450F.

Quarter the eggplant lengthwise and slice across into 3/4-inch slices.

Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper or foil, and brush it with about 2 T. of the olive oil. Lay the eggplant on the baking sheets and spray the tops with some sort of spray-oil. In the center, place your peppers. Spray their outsides with some sort of spray-oil as well.

Remove the loose, papery skins from your garlic bulb. Place the garlic on one of the pans as well.

Place the pans in the oven and roast for 25 minutes.

While you do so, boil the water for your fettucine, and cook the noodles as directed on the box. Drain and set aside.

Remove pans from the oven. If the red pepper skinds are blistering, then place them in a paper/plastic bag and close up the bag. If they are not yet blistered, flip the eggplant pieces, respray them with spray-oil, and return everything back to the oven for 15 more minutes.

If you returned the red peppers to the oven, keep checking on them, and once the skins are sufficiently blistered, remove them and place them in a bag as mentioned above.

After the 15 minutes are up, remove everything from the oven. Give a garlic clove a little squeeze, and if it feels soft and mushy, you can set aside. If it's not quite there, remove your eggplant from the pan, and return the garlic to the oven for a wee bit longer.

Once your peppers have cooled, remove the skins (if there's some skin that remains, it's ok), and dice into tiny pieces. Once your garlic has cooled, wet your hands, and squeeze each roasted garlic clove into a bowl.

Up until this point, all of these steps can be done the night before you choose to cook the meal. If you go this route, you can just toss your garlic, eggplant, and roasted red pepper bites into an airtight container and refrigerate.

On the stovetop, heat the remaining tablespoon of olive oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat. Saute the onions for 10-12 minutes, until lightly browned. Add the white wine, herbs, and bay leaves and cook for about 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes, tearing up each tomato with your hands before adding to the pot, and add the remaining juice from the can.

Add the eggplant, peppers, roasted garlic, and chickpeas to the pot and mix well. (Don't be afraid of crushing it--it's a good thing if that happens.)

Lower heat and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Let sit for about 10 minutes.

Add your drained fettucine noodles and stir well.

Serve.

Makes 6 to 8 servings

Chewy Chocolate-Raspberry Cookie Sammiches

So my birthday was this weekend. Fart fart blah blah and all that. And, being that I love a good excuse to bake, I decided to try out the Chewy Chocolate Raspberry Cookie recipe from Veganomicon.

But since the dessert was birthday-related, I figured it needed to be a bit bigger. A bit bolder. A bit more celebratory. Translation: Way more sugary and over-the-top. So after brainstorming a bit, and after reading the cookbook's suggestion that you try these cookies out as ice cream sandwiches, I thought to myself: WAIT! SUGARY = FROSTING = COOKIE SAMMICHES! And voila--these cookie sammiches were born.

And seriously: they are the best dessert I've had in forever. In fact, I gave one to one of my instructors to try the other day, and she stopped me in the hallway, with this glazed post-sex crazed glow in her eyes, and said to me: "Oh my god. That was seriously the best thing I've ever eaten." Not "the best dessert." Not "the best thing in the past few months." But the best thing EVER. Which, granted, was probably a *TINY* bit of an exaggeration. But only a tiny one. Because seriously: Screw cake for your birthday. These things will rope-a-dope the shit out of cake until it's too tired out to fight back for that belt.

The chocolate-raspberry cookies are wonderfully subtle-tasting, and AWESOMELY chewy. And the simple flavor of the cookies is balanced out by the completely ridiculous, sugary, decadent filling (from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World) smooshed between them.

Good good stuff.

I post the complete recipe for the cookie sammiches, but if you want to just make the cookies themselves, obviously, just don't whip up the filling. *COUidjitGH*

Sidenote: I was a bit horrified to find this morning that you can find the WHOLE Veganomicon cookbook on-line in pdf form, if you happen to google-search the right terms. I don't know how nor why this is legal, but I'm not posting a link here because I think it's kind of bullshit. I know Isa is a generous gal (and has told me once that she didn't mind me posting a recipe out of VwaV), but THE WHOLE BOOK??? That's crap.

INGREDIENTS:

The Cookies:


• 1 c. raspberry preserves


• 2 c. sugar


• 2/3 c. canola oil


• 2 tsp vanilla extract


• 2 tsp almond extract


• 1 & 1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder (sifted if clumpy)


• 3 c. all-purpose flour


• 1.5 tsp baking soda


• 1/4 t. salt


The Filling:


• 1/4 c. vegan margarine (at room temp.)


• 1/4 c. vegan shortening (at room temp.)


• 2.5 c. powdered sugar


• 1/2 c. cocoa powder


• 3 T. soy milk


• 1 t. vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large mixing bowl, stir together the raspberry preserves, sugar, canola oil, vanilla, and almond extract.

In a separate bowl sift together all the other cookie ingredients.

Add the dry to the wet in 3 batches, mixing well with a fork (or your hands) after each addition. When you get to the last batch, you may need to use your hands to work the batter into a soft and pliable dough.

Roll the dough into walnut-size balls and then flatten them with your hands into 2 1/2 inch diameter disks. Place on your cookie sheet (they need to be only 1/2 inch apart because they don’t spread out when baking).

Bake 10 minutes.

While they are baking, make your filling. (I did mine in a food-processor, because I didn't have a beater, but bless my sister's heart, she got me one for my b-day. Anyways, you can make it either which way, depending on what you've got at home.) Place the margarine and shortening in a bowl or in your food processor. Beat or process until blended. Add your vanilla and soy milk and process/beat some more. Add in your cocoa powder and beat/process until combined. Start adding the powdered sugar in small batches, beating/processing after each bit until fully combined (that way it doesn't clump). Once all of it's been added, beat/process until thick and fluffy.

Remove cookies from the oven and let cool for 5 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely.

Once your cookies are completely cooled, take a cookie and slather a generous helping of filling on the flat side. Take another cookie, and smoosh the two flat-sides of your cookies together. Repeat until all your cookies are gone. There should be EXACTLY the right amount of frosting to fill up your cookies, without running out and without having leftovers. Because I am awesome like that.

Makes about 18 cookie-sammiches.

(Cookie recipe posted at Splendid Sustenance, originally from Veganomicon)

When They Were Bad They Were Very Very Bad, But When They Were Good They Were Awesome

So I feel a TEENY bit bad giving Veganomicon such a hard time yesterday. I don't hate the cookbook, and I don't want it to come across as such. Granted, I've had a couple major flops. And they flopped hard. But I've also had some damn good experiences as well. And I don't want the bad to eclipse the good here (speaking of eclipse: you catch the lunar one last night? fricking bad-ass awesome).

So today, I'm lacing up my boxing gloves, putting in one of them mouthguard thingies, and hopping around in the ring ready to take on the chickpea-cutlet dissers because, good god, peeps, I loves these things.

Yesterday, my mom had an appointment for a colonoscopy and endoscopy, which I took her to. (I'm sure she'll be EVER so pleased that I'm talking about her asshole for everyone around the globe to read.) Anyways, she was starving since she had to fast all day. So I decided to cook her dinner. And I decided that I'd whip up the chickpea cutlets again, this time in nugget form.

And seriously peeps: I know that tastes vary. So I'ma chalk up the haters to that fact. (I hate brussel sprouts, but I know many of you who would happily use them as anal beads, you love them that much. All a matter of taste, you brussel sprout pervs...) But *tightening the lacing on my boxing gloves* I'll totally rope-a-dope those of you who argue that the recipe itself stinks, because even after forming them into nuggets, I still had absolutely no problem with it, and they came out delightful (albeit, looking a little bit like poo-logs; but once you get around that, they're damn tasty, and I recommend the nugget form for those of you trying to feed kids). In nugget form, these would make an AWESOME finger-food for parties (with a few sides of dipping sauces) or an easy way to please an omnivore.


Seriously: poo or chickpea nugget?
Hard to tell...

For those of you interested in trying them out this way, you'll just want to form them into about 12-15 nuggety shapes (see pics) evenly spaced on your pan and flip them over every once in a while until they are firm enough that you can pick them up (I think I only ended up reducing the cooking time on the original recipe by about 5 minutes to make them in nugget form).

I also made the lemony roasted potatoes for dinner as well, and mother of god, these things were good. They left my house smelling wonderfully aromatic, like Thanksgiving day had made an unexpected layover in Cleveland. Despite the fact that I am the worst cutter-upper of potatoes, they turned out delicious, the perfect hint of delicate lemon flavoring.

So yeah: Veganomicon has disappointed me a couple times. But I'm hoping that the two incidents I mentioned yesterday were just isolated events and that the good moments (like the chickpea cutlets and lemony roasted potatoes) will engulf the bad moments, chew them up, and spit them out, as I try out more and more recipes from this book. *Fingers crossed* since I intend to whip up that eggplanty curry recipe this weekend along with the tomatoey-rice soup recipe.

Those are the technical names, obviously.

LEMONY ROASTED POTATOES



INGREDIENTS:

• 2.5 pounds Russet potatoes (medium to small potatoes work best)


• 1/3 c. olive oil


• 6 cloves garlic, chopped finely


• 1/2 c. freshly squeezed lemon juice


• 1 c. vegetable broth


• 2 t. dried oregano


• salt to taste


• 1 t. tomato paste (or I used steak sauce)


• Freshly ground black pepper


• Chopped fresh parsley or dried oregano (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Peel the potatoes, slice in half lengthwise, and slice each half into wedges no more then 3/4″ thick.

In a large, deep baking pan or casserole dish (at least 10 17-inches or bigger), combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, vegetable broth, oregano, salt, and tomato paste. Add the peeled, sliced potatoes. Sprinkle with freshly ground pepper and toss the potatoes to cover with the sauce. Cover the pan tightly with foil (or use lid of casserole dish), place in the oven, and bake for 30-35 minutes until the potatoes are almost done. Several times during the baking process, remove the pan from the oven, uncover, stir the potatoes, place the cover back, and return the pan to the oven.

Uncover the pan one last time, stir the potatoes again, and bake, uncovered, for an additional 15-20 minutes, until most of the sauce has evaporated and some of the potatoes have just started to brown on their edges. Sprinkle with chopped fresh parsley and/or more dried oregano before serving.

serves 4-6

(Posted at The PepperTree, originally from Veganomicon)

Two Phenomenal Veganomical Flops

The chickpea cutlets were so very very good. So color me highly disappointed (that IS a color--right next to Plum and Mahogany in the 64-pack of crayolas) when the next two recipes I tried from Veganomicon were huge flops.

First were the jelly donut cupcakes.

What an awesome idea, I thought to myself. And the recipe is ridiculously simple. So I decided to whip them up in time for Valentine's Day.

Now, I'll give the recipe the benefit of the doubt because I've not had ONE good experience baking cupcakes in my oven (despite the fact that I have baked some killer cakes in there), so the bad experience could just be chalked up to yet one more cupcake disaster. *BUT* I'm also giving myself the benefit of the doubt here as well, since I followed the recipe to a T, and since I've also read numerous other tales of botched cupcakes stemming from this recipe. The uber-adorable VeggieGirl discussed their disastrous aesthetic value just last week. But Did They Eat It?'s donuts looked like they had scabies. And Rural Vegan's cupcakes looked like mutated blueberry muffins (though disaster was nullified by the cute pic she got of her chickies chowing down on them). And that's just to name a few. (Don't get me wrong, there are also many many posts of people's success with these cupcakes. But clearly something's up with the recipe when such culinary masters like VeggieGirl run into trouble.)

In *MY* case, all the jam sunk directly to the bottom of the cupcake, and the tops of the cupcakes caved in. I'm easy to please though, so I would've been fine with the horrendous appearance if only they were stable cupcakes. But since the jam all sunk to the bottom, upon unwrapping each cupcake, they basically just crumbled apart. (Thankfully, I MacGuyvered them by crumbling them all up into a sort of crumbly streudel.) The issue with the recipe seems to be with the jelly/jam. The cookbook claims you can just dollop the jam on top and leave it alone, and it will sink perfectly to the middle of the cupcake. I suspect, however, that depending on the weight of what you choose to use (jam perhaps being the culprit here due to the fact that it's much more dense and heavy then jelly), you could conceivably end up with disastrous results. I used raspberry jam, and I suspect the heaviness of it being a jam is what caused it all to sink to the bottom. Presumably the cornstarch added to the recipe is intended to act as a sort of jelly-glue, locking it into place as it bakes. But that was not the case with my cupcakes.

I *WILL* try these again though, since they are so simple (and since I liked the way they tasted--despite the fact that there have been a lot of complaints about them being yucky). Next time though: cheap shitty jelly.

The second disaster I had I didn't see coming at all, which made it all the more disappointing. I saw the recipe for beanballs last week, and they looked SO ricidulously simple, and sounded so damn tasty, that I decided I would whip them up this weekend.

Now, I *DID* roam around on the internet after these turned out to be a bomb to see if it was just me, and the general consensus seems to be that this is a good recipe and that no one's had any major trouble with it. *SO* I wanted to note that here.

However, what happened when I baked these babies is that they never solidified into a chewy, meatbally-like chunk. Instead, they just continued to have a mushy, beany, kind of doughy consistency. And despite the fact that the flavor was wonderful on them (which annoyed me even MORE, because I know that they had POSSIBILITY), I found myself having a difficult time even humoring them by eating them. The second day I had them, I crumbled them up with some more bread crumbs (as much as possible since they were still mushy) and attempted to fry them up majorly so that they'd kind of be like meat-crumbles on my spaghetti--I had much better luck going this route.

After much speculation about how I could've ruined them so badly, I came to this conclusion: 20 oz. of kidney beans does not equal 3 cups of kidney beans. 3 cups of kidney beans is 24 oz. This means, given the cup-measurements offered in the cookbook, I was technically adding a full 1/2 cup of kidney beans to the recipe that shouldn't technically have been there. Now, kidney beans don't exist in 20-oz cans, so anyone who makes this recipe is going to end up buying a big honking can. And if they make the error of assuming that the equivalent cup-measurement is correct, I think the beanballs will probably end up bombing for them. Granted, the recipe says "approximately" 3 cups. But I would venture to say that the 1/2 c. makes a HUGE difference when it comes to the consistency of the beanballs. If you don't believe me that 1/2 c. can make a difference, let me note this as well: Veganomicon says the recipe should yield 12-15 beanballs. When I was rolling them out, I was like HOLY CRAP, THEY JUST KEEP COMING. By the time I was done, I had about 20+ meatballs. Again, even a small amount like 1/2 c. makes a difference.

Crunch n' Munch verifies my thoughts on the matter as well, noting that "I’m pretty sure the recipe called for 1/2 cup [of bread crumbs], but I wound up putting more in to make them reasonably held together. My kidney beans were in a 15 oz. can, so I opened two and measured them by the cupful, based on the book saying it was about 3 cups, without thinking much about that fact that it’d be more like 24oz. I reckon the approx. & the fact that kidney beans aren’t liquid accounts for the other 4 oz. but… yeah. Anyway, I stirred in more breadcrumbs until it got to a consistency I found reasonable." Unfortunately, I just assumed that the consistency was the way it was supposed to be since the beanballs were holding together perfectly fine, and I never added extra breadcrumbs like Crunch n' Munch had the foresight to do.

So, again: I will most definitely give this recipe a second chance, as the beanballs TASTED wonderful, despite the consistency being wretched. But for those of you looking to dive in and try this recipe out yourself, please please please take note of the measurement discrepancy and aim for 2.5 cups of kidney beans. Hopefully you'll have better luck.



As balls...



As "meat" crumbles...

INGREDIENTS:

• 20 oz. (or approx. 2.5 cups*) of cooked kidney beans


• 1/4 c. vital wheat gluten


• 1/2 - 1 c. bread crumbs*


• 2 T. olive oil


• 2 T. soy sauce


• 2 T. steak sauce or tomato paste


• 2 cloves garlic, pressed or grated


• 1/4 t. lemon zest


• 1/2 t. oregano


• 1/4 t. thyme

*These quantities have been modified from the original recipe in the hopes of helping you out with consistency

DIRECTIONS
(For baking--frying is pretty much common sense)

Preheat oven to 375F.

Chuck all of your kidney beans into a medium sized bowl and mash them suckers. You want them to be fairly well smooshed, but not to the point that they’re unidentifiable as kidney beans. Add in the rest of your ingredients, and then mush together with your hands until fully combined. Knead/mush them for a minute or two.

After you have everything stirred up and holding together (without being totally solid, mind you) roll up your beanballs. They should be on the smaller side; Veganomicon compares them to the size of walnuts (which made me realize that I have no idea what an unshelled walnut looks like--so maybe think "eyeball"-sized instead).

Oil up a baking sheet, place the beanballs on it, and roll them around a tiny bit in the oil so they're covered.

Bake for 15 minutes on one side, flip them, bake for another 10 minutes on the other side. If you are cooking them up with tomato sauce, at this point add your tomato sauce and toss them until they're coated. Pop back into the oven for 5 more minutes. If you're not using tomato sauce, I'd just toss them back in as is for about 5 more minutes as is, or until sufficiently browned.

(Recipe posted at Crunch n' Munch, originally from Veganomicon)