Veganomicon's Chickpea Cutlets

So oh my god, I've been SO tired of hearing about the Veganomicon Chickpea Cutlets. (Ok, not really--but seriously: who HASN'T cooked them and blogged about them yet?!? I mean, other than me??) Which means that it was, of course, the first recipe I wanted to try when my copy of Veganomicon finally showed up in the mail. And because of all the praise they've received, I went in thinking "These things better make my fricking CLIT fall off from their tastiness if they're gonna live up to their reputation."

So last Saturday night I scrounged together all the ingredients and whipped up the baked version.

They were a bit flat when I removed them from the oven, so I was skeptical. They smelled scrumptious though, but still: High standards.

I had also decided to make some mashed potatoes on the side--a fairly standard recipe with some chickpeas thrown in--and I topped these with the cheezy sauce from Veganomicon as well.

Finally: Pics. Napkin. I sat down with a beer and a plate full of steaming Veganomicon grub.

One bite of the chickpea cutlets, and clunk... No no no... Plink (I don't think my clit is large enough to warrant a Clunk), there went my clit, down the inside of my pantleg and bouncing across the floor to wind up under my couch, stuck in a wad of cat hair, just SLIGHTLY out of reach of my arm. DAMN YOU, CHICKPEA CUTLETS! YOU ARE AS TASTY AS EVERYONE SAYS YOU ARE!

Truly and sincerely: these things are SO very good. Especially for having such a simple and (seemingly) bland variety of ingredients. Next time I make them, I think I'm going to try forming them into little dippable-sized chicken-nugget-type chunks, because they kind of reminded me of nuggets.

And for those of you who haven't tried them yet: Don't mask the flavor in gravies and sauces. Just squeeze out a nice side of agave nectar and use it for dipping sauce. IT WILL FLOOR YOU. The agave nectar offers the perfect set of complimentary flavors for the cutlets. You will not be disappointed.

*Screwing clit back on*

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. chickpeas
  
• 2 T. olive oil


• 1/2 c. vital wheat gluten


• 1/2 c. plain breadcrumbs


• 1/4 c. vegetable broth or water


• 2 T. soy sauce


• 2 garlic cloves , pressed or grated


• 1/2 t. lemon zest


• 1/2 t. dried thyme


• 1/2 t. Hungarian paprika


• 1/4 t. dried rubbed sage


• to taste olive oil , for pan frying or baking

DIRECTIONS

Mash the chickpeas and oil together until no whole chickpeas remain. Add remaining ingredients and knead for 3 minutes until strings of gluten have formed. Preheat large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Divide dough into four equal pieces. Flatten each piece and stretch to roughly 4" x 6"

PAN-FRYING: Add a thin layer of olive oil to to the pan. Place cutlets in the pan and cook on each side for 6 to 7 minute They are ready when lightly brown and firm to the touch.

BAKING: Preheat oven to 375°F, and lightly oil baking sheet. Brush both sides of each patty with olive oil, place on baking sheet, and bake for 20 minutes. Flip patties and bake another 8 to 10 minutes until firm and golden brown.

(Recipe from Veganomicon, posted at RECIPEZAAR)