Monday, January 29, 2007

I Am Vegan--I Am Incorrigible

You know those annoying Burger King commercials that are poking fun at the feminist movement by shouting "I AM MAN, HEAR ME ROAR" and which basically imply that only pussy effeminate men eat tofu--that tofu is "chick food" and that any guy with bigger than a 4-inch dick should want a big fat juicy (Grade D) burger instead?

Well, yeah.


(If you have no clue what I'm talking about, you can watch one HERE.)

I mean, that lame-ass commercial is a case-in-point demonstration of what Carol J. Adams talks about in her book The Sexual Politics of Meat--that we've masculinized meat and feminized vegetables. That we've deemed meat more powerful and veggies more subservient. When she discusses it in her book, however, she focuses somewhat on cookbooks from the '50s and whatnot, so what's so disturbing to me about that damnable BK commercial is that it shows how little we've changed in these outdated views that "men bring home the bacon while women sit around nibbling on their leafy greens."

Even Bitch magazine (or was it Bust? or maybe it was both--I can't remember) had a nice little write-up about these commercials (along with those stupid Hummer ads where the guy's in line buying tofu and when he's scoffed at by a guy behind him in line who's buying heaping mounds of meat, finds solace in the fact that he can hop in his manly Hummer and drive home). Bitch also had a lovely article on feminism and vegetarianism called "Friend or Food--Raising the Flag for Feminist Vegetarianism" that some of you may be interested in checking out as well (it's in the most recent issue) which touches on this subject matter too.

Bullshit, I say.

Eating meat doesn't make you more of a man.

It doesn't make you more of ANYTHING, really, other than someone who doesn't give much thought to what goes into the things they put in their mouth on a daily basis.

In fact, what's more "manly" to me (and by "manly," I mean "ballsy"--or "eggy," for the B&A luvahs in the house!--aka. strong and independent-minded) is thinking about what you eat and where it comes from, not grabbing your package and chomping down on a filthy hamburger just because Burger King attacks your masculinity.

Fuck Burger King.

In honor of the new kind of "man" that we should be working towards, I offer you this recipe which demonstrates that tofu and vegan food can have "balls" too.


I got the ingredients for this dish at the asian market I've mentioned before: Sweet and Sour Soybean Nuggets and Fried Tofu Balls. I prefer to call them "Tofu Nuggets and Testes" when I speak of them, but we'll just stick with nuggets and balls because it's more accurate based on the packaging.

Anyways, the "meat" was a bit strange-tasting, kind of a beef-like consistency. Really not too bad, except for some strange spice in the marinade that gave it an unusual (though not necessarily BAD) after-taste.

The fried tofu balls (poor testicle-less tofu) were delightful--kind of the spongy squishy consistency of a donut. I actually have thoughts about trying to make something sweet and donut-esque out of these in the future, as they seem like they'd make for a good dessert.

I've included a couple ingredients not in my initial recipe (simply because I didn't have them on hand) but which I think would definitely liven up the recipe quite a bit.

  • 1 pack sweet and sour soybean nuggets (or you can use some other fake-chicken or beef)

  • 1/2 pack fried tofu balls

  • 1/2 jar sweet and sour sauce (perhaps a bit less or more, depending on how much sauce you like)

  • 1 medium-sized onion, chunked

  • 1/2 c. thinly-sliced carrots

  • 1/2 c. pineapple chunks

  • The florets from one head of broccoli, cut up into small pieces (optional)

  • White rice


Fry up the carrots, onions and broccoli for a couple minutes (in either oil or fat-free oil spray). Then toss in the sweet and sour soybean nuggets (preferable thawed, otherwise they're a bit difficult to work with). Once everything is close to done, toss in the fried tofu balls and pineapple. Cook until heated through. Remove from heat and add the sweet and sour sauce. Let sit for a minute or two so it warms up a bit, and then serve over white rice.

Think about how much more manly you feel eating the testicles and nuggets of a tofu instead of a cow or pig.

Feel that manliness--feel it.

(Serves 2-3.)

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