Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Chocolate Caramel Anti-Blue-Balls Crack(ers)

                          from Smitten Kitchen

Jeebus! What with the threat of folks getting cracker blue balls, I figured I'd better post the recipe as quick as possible.

I promise: Your balls will love them, and will surely stay their natural color now.

They are reminiscent of Skor bars. Kind of sort of. And they're easy simple peasy to make. And kind of fun.

But yes, they ARE addicting. So ONLY MAKE THEM WHEN YOU HAVE LOTS OF PEOPLE AROUND TO HELP YOU EAT THEM, OKAY? If you don't heed my warning and gain 50 lbs from gorging on them with your non-blue balls, you only have yourself to blame.


  • 40 Saltine crackers or crackers of your choice (or 4 to 6 sheets matzo)

  • 1 c. vegan margarine, cut into a few large pieces

  • 1 cup packed light brown sugar

  • A big pinch of sea salt

  • 1/2 t. pure vanilla extract

  • 1-1/2 c. semi- or bittersweet chocolate chips (or chopped bittersweet or semisweet chocolate)

  • 1 c. toasted chopped almonds, pecans, walnuts or a nut of your choice (optional)

  • Extra sea salt for sprinkling (optional)


Preheat the oven to 350-F. Line an 11-by-17-inch baking sheet completely with foil, and then line the base of the foil with parchment paper, cut to fit.

Line the bottom of the baking sheet with crackers. It'll be easy as pie: like 8 rows of 5 or something like that.

In a medium heavy-duty saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar together, and stir it over medium heat until it begins to boil. Once it has begun boiling, let it bubble for three more minutes, stirring it well. It will thicken a bit as it cooks. Remove from the heat and add the salt and vanilla, and then quickly pour it over the matzo or crackers. You'll want to spread it quickly, as it will begin to set as soon as it is poured.

Bake the caramel-covered crackers for 15 minutes, watching carefully as it will bubble and the corners might darken too quickly and/or burn. You can reduce the heat if you see this happening.

Remove from oven and immediately cover with chocolate chips. Let stand five minutes, and then spread them evenly across the caramel. An offset spatula works great here. If you're using them, sprinkle the chocolate with toasted chopped nuts and/or sea salt. (The sea salt is great on matzo. On Saltines, it's really not necessary.)

Once completely cool -- I sometimes speed this process up in the fridge, impatient as should be expected in the face of caramel crack(ers) -- break it into pieces and store it in a container. It should keep for a week but I've never seen it last that long.

(Recipe originally from Smitten Kitchen)

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