Bringing Vegan Brunch to You, My Bitches

Oh look at me! Blogging! Try not to wet yourself with delight!

So yes: VEGAN BRUNCH. I gots it.

If you don't, you should.

I must admit, every time Isa has a cookbook come out, I'm all: don't jump on the f-ing crazy-ass bandwagon, dude. But inevitably I end up buying it. ('Cause her cookbooks are my most used cookbooks, dammit. Not cuz it's hipster-cool!)

And here's what I've made so far. Alas: You'll have to purchase the book to get the first two recipes as they don't appear to be on-line yet. INCENTIVE.

1. Potato Spinach Squares: Super easy. And they make for a nice picnic side since they're yummiest at room temp.





2. Pesto Scrambled Tofu with Grape Tomatoes: My friend P and I cooked this on the weekend (along with the yumtastic cream cheezy mashed potatoes she concocted). And this has actually been my favorite so far, which is surprising 'cause I was supremely skeptical. I was all, "How can this be all that tasty when it's essentially just tofu and tomatoes doused in pesto??" But trust me: it is. I suggest tossing in some diced up kalamatas as well, for some extra oomph. You won't regret it.






3. Puttanesca Scramble: This one I was actually kind of meh on. Not that it was bad. But it didn't make my toes curl. Be that as it may, it IS one of the recipes that was actually posted on the PPK, so that must mean SOMETHING (namely that I probably just suck and have no taste in food).

Next in the queue: The elusive vegan omelet. After two failed tries at other vegan omelet recipes, I am DETERMINED to master this, goddammit. STAY TUNED!



PUTTANESCA SCRAMBLE

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. olive oil


• 6 - 8 cloves garlic thinly sliced


• 1/2 t. crushed red pepper flakes


• 1 lb. extra firm tofu, diced


• 4 roma tomatoes, diced


• 2 T. fresh thyme


• 2 T. fresh oregano


• 1/2 c. mixed olives, roughly chopped


• 1 T. capers


• 1/4 t. salt, or to taste

DIRECTIONS

Preheat a large heavy bottomed pan over medium heat. Saute the garlic in the olive oil until lightly browned, but be careful not to burn. 3 minutes ought to do it. Add the red pepper flakes and the tofu and saute for about 10 minutes, until tofu is browned. Add a little extra oil if necessary.

Mix in tomatoes, thyme, oregano and oregano and cook for about 5 minute, until tomatoes are a bit broken down but still whole. Add olives, capers and salt to taste. Cook just until heated through.

(Recipe from VEGAN BRUNCH, posted on the ppk)

Asparagus and Sun-dried Tomato Frittata

                          from Vegan with a Vengeance

N/A raved about this frittata so strongly (he said it was up there as one of the best things I've ever made) that I actually was a bit concerned that he was going to shit rainbows. Then again, part of me thinks that he may have just been trying to suck up to make up for a douchey comment he made to me right before we ate dinner. So really: it's hard to say.

But I guess that just means you should probably go ahead and make it yourself and be the judge.

Me, I thought it WAS quite good as well. But I also easily ate half of this and could've eaten more, so take that into consideration if you decide to cook this for company.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 lb. extra-firm tofu, drained


• 1 T. soy sauce


• 1 t. mustard


• 1/4 c. nutritional yeast


• 2 t. olive oil


• 1 onion, cut into 1/4-inch dice [I omitted cuz N/A hates onions]


• 5 stalks asparagus, trimmed and cut into one inch pieces


• 1/4 c. sun-dried tomatoes, finely chopped


• 3 cloves garlic, minced


• 1 t. dried thyme


• 1/4 t. turmeric


• Juice of 1/2 lemon


• 1/4 c. fresh basil leaves, torn into pieces

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 400-F.

Using your fingers, crumble and squeeze tofu into a bowl until it resembles ricotta cheese. Stir in soy sauce and mustard. Add nutritional yeast and mix well.

In an 8-inch oven-proof skillet, saute onions in olive oil until soft about 2 minutes. Add asparagus and tomatoes and cook for 3 minutes. Add garlic, thyme, and turmeric, saute for one minute. Add lemon juice to deglaze pan and remove from heat. Add contents to tofu mixture and stir to blend. Fold in basil leaves.

Transfer combined mixture to skillet and press firmly into pan. Place skillet in oven and cook for 20 minutes. Transfer to broiler to brown top, about 2 minutes. Watch it closely! You don't want it to burn.

Let frittata sit for 10 minutes prior to serving.

Serves 2-4.


(Recipe from Vegan with a Vengeance, reposted at Pink Stripes with a few alterations)

Delectable Plunkett Burritos

It's been one of those weeks. One of those irritating irritating weeks. So I've been trying to work up the energy to post. And then I realized that this recipe was actually sitting in my inbox, so I figured I'd keep it short and sweet.

Last week a friend of a friend of a friend (who is also the son of a son of a mother--you following?) cooked dinner for several of us when he was in town. The sweet perk about the fact that he cooked dinner for us is that he's a chef (is/was--not sure if you can ever RETIRE that position, even if you DO move on to a different type of job). So dinner wasn't just good, it was sweet-good-god-tasty like something you'd get at a real restaurant.

Thankfully he was kind enough to jot down the recipe, and I must say: if you have time to whip these up, they are WELL worth it. Wonderfully simple ingredients and yet chock full of a variety of crisp and spicy flavors. I liked it so much that I ate two huge burritos, and I had a grand ol' stomachache the rest of the night, but it was well worth it. So, thanks, RP. =)



TOFU AND MARINADE

INGREDIENTS:

• juice of 2 fresh limes or one lime juice squeezed


• .25 medium red onion rough chopped


• 2 T. agave nectar


• 1/2 t. cumin


• 1 t. salt


• 1 t. pepper


• 1/2 c. canola oil


• .25 bunch of cilantro

DIRECTIONS

mix together and taste for salt pepper and if needs more lime juice or oil. put 1/2 oil in then add rest because I am not sure that it is to much or to little.

cut tofu in desired size I think longer thinner strips might be better the second time around.

put in zip lock bag.

let sit over night.

Bread the tofu with whole wheat flour, cayenne pepper, and salt and pepper.




AVOCADO TOMATO SALAD

INGREDIENTS:

• three avocados


• 1/2 red onion


• three tomatoes


dressing:


• 1 Clementine


• fresh or 1 squeezed lime juice


• 1/2 bunch of cilantro


• 1/2 t. cumin


• 1/2 t. cayenne pepper


• 1 T. agave nectar


• salt pepper to taste


• 1/2 c. canola oil

DIRECTIONS

add together and stir up well again add oil slowly all measurements are not exact. make sure it has enough salt.




SLAW TOPPING

INGREDIENTS:

• julienne cabbage


• Chipotle Tabasco


• salt

DIRECTIONS:

Mix together to taste. Don't be afraid of the salt



ALTOGETHER NOW:

fry up tofu, drain well, and enjoy. dont forget to warm up your tortillas.

(We assembled our burritos by taking a warm tortilla, filling it up with the tofu and avocado tomato salad, and topping it off with the slaw.)

Grilled Tofu and Sauteed Asian Greens

I'm still a bit tired today.

But I have my trusty jug o' coffee sitting next to me, so perhaps I'll find myself writing with a little bit more energy as this post unfolds.

E made grilled tofu and sauteed greens for us a couple weeks ago but kept forgetting to pass along the recipe.

He finally remembered, so here it is in all its grilled and sautee-ish glory.

It was numbly and good, good and numbly. Especially when accompanied by fresh veggies sauteed in hoisin. Which I still haven't a clue how to pronounce, so I'm just going with a very mumbled "Hoy-sin!"

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 (14-oz) block firm tofu, drained


• 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce


• 1 teaspoon Asian sesame oil


• 1 1/2 teaspoons packed dark brown sugar


• 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated peeled fresh ginger


• 1 small garlic clove, minced


• 1/4 teaspoon Tabasco or dried hot red pepper flakes


• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon vegetable oil


• 2 (5-oz) bags Asian greens or baby spinach (E used the latter)

DIRECTIONS

Press your tofu by whatever methods you usually employ.
Stir together soy sauce, sesame oil, brown sugar, ginger, garlic, Tabasco, and 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a glass pie plate. Add tofu slices in 1 layer and marinate, turning over every couple of minutes, 8 minutes total.

Heat a lightly oiled well-seasoned ridged grill pan over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking. Lift tofu from marinade with a slotted spatula (reserve marinade) and grill, turning over once carefully with spatula, until grill marks appear and tofu is heated through, 4 to 6 minutes total.

While tofu grills, heat remaining teaspoon vegetable oil in a 12-inch skillet over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking, then sauté greens, tossing with tongs, until beginning to wilt. Add reserved marinade and sauté, tossing, until greens are just wilted, about 1 minute. Lift greens from skillet with tongs, letting excess marinade drip off, and divide between 2 plates.

Serve greens with tofu slices.

Makes 2 main-course servings.

(Original recipe HERE)

Cookies n' Rum Pudding

So I made this pudding the other week from scratch. And then I decided that I wasn't sure I liked it. So then I let it sit in the fridge for a week without touching it. And then I decided perhaps I should just throw it away. But then I felt guilty. So then I decided to try one more bite and if it was completely nast, THEN I'd not feel so bad throwing it away. So then I had a bite. And then I realized, hey, this shit is good. Not perfect, but good. So then I decided to throw some oreos in to make it better than good, though still one step below perfect.

And voila. Cookies n' rum pudding.

I will warn you though--it tastes a bit heavy on the booze. And it has a WEE bit of a chalky aftertaste (but for some reason, this seems to ALWAYS be the way when you make desserts with tofu--at least from my experience). But take that as you may--in the moment, with the ooey goopy cookie-ish liquored-up sweet chocolatey-yumtasticness in your mouth, it's all good.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cube Mori-Nu firm silken tofu


• 3/4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips


• 1 T. cocoa


• 1 T. agave nectar


• 2 T. rum (this makes it pretty potent though, so you light-weights may wanna halve-it)


• 1 t. vanilla


• 9 or so vegan oreo cookies (or some sorta chocolate vegan wafer-cookie)

DIRECTIONS

Toss the tofu in a food processer and process the shit out of it, until it's nice and smooth.

Melt the semi-sweet chocolate chips, somehow or another (I just used a low-flame on the stove). Add them to the tofu once completely melted and process again until thoroughly mixed.

Add all other ingredients to the tofu, except for the oreos and process until blended once more.

Add about 6 or 7 oreos to the tofu-mix and blend until oreos are demolished and fully mixed in. Smash up the remaining oreos into larger chunks and mix in with a spoon (to give it a bit of chunky texture).

Refrigerate for a week (kidding--just a few hours or so should be fine) and chow down.

Serves 2 if you eat the way I eat.

Raspberry-Drizzled Chocolate Mousse

So the dessert.

I remember my mom drooling over the chocolate-raspberry volcano (or whatever it's called) at Johnny Mango on past occasions, so I figured something chocolatey and raspberryish (but also kind of light, since the spring weather had left us with a delighful soft-weathered kind of day) would be perfect.

And perfect it was. This dessert is super-easy to whip up, super-easy to put together, and yet 100% rich and delightful.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cube of Mori-Nu firm silken tofu


• 1 1/4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips


• 1/4 c. brewed coffee


• 1 T. maple syrup


• 2 c. frozen raspberries, thawed and food processed (reserve a handful of whole raspberries as well)


• 3/4 c. vegan sugar


• 3/4 c. water

DIRECTIONS

Throw the tofu into a food processer and blend. Melt your chocolate chips whatever way you see fit (I just do it in a pot on the stove--you don't need double-boilers and all that as long as you continuously stir and keep your eye on it), and brew your coffee. Throw the melted chocolate and coffee into the food processer along with your maple syrup and pulse until fully mixed. The mixture will seem soupy at first, but it stiffens up in the fridge. Refrigerate for at least a couple hours.

In the meantime, place your food-processed raspberries, vegan sugar, and water in a small pot on the stove. Bring the mixture to a boil and boil for about 10 minutes, stirring often. Remove from heat, let cool, and then place in the fridge.

Once the raspberry-sauce is completely cool and the mousse has stiffened up successfully, serve in margarita or wine glasses in layers, from the bottom up:

1. Raspberry sauce.


2. Mousse.


3. More raspberry sauce.


4. A poof of mousse on top.


5. Drizzle prettily with raspberry sauce and sprinkle a few whole-raspberries on top.

Devour.

(Makes (not nearly) enough (heh heh) for two.)

General Tao's Tofu and Mango-Avocado Spring Rolls

Saturday night for dinner, I *attempted* to finally make spring rolls. I say *attempted* because I was none too pleased with the results--what I chose to stuff them with wasn't bad, but the actual wrapper and the process of rolling them left a lot to be desired. The inside-ingredients ended up being way too loosely packed, and they were difficult to eat. Needless to say, come Monday, I promptly looked on the internet for precise directions on how to roll them (here's a good tutorial). I didn't think it would be difficult, but MAN are soggy rice-papers difficult to manipulate.

Anyways, I ended up packing them with chinese vermicelli rice-noodles, shredded cabbage, lightly-steamed pea pods, mango, and avocado. I definitely liked the variety in the filling, but for some reason they weren't as aesthetically pleasing, taste-wise, as I'd wanted them to be, simply because they were difficult to eat. You can see them in all their flabby glory above. (I think next time I may use a couple wrappers for each roll, to give them a bit more backbone.)

I *DID* really like the thai dipping-sauce recipe that I concocted though, so I will share that here at least. It's kinda salty though, so you may wanna nab some of that nifty low-sodium soy sauce if you want to avoid a headache.

Sweet Thai Dipping Sauce
INGREDIENTS:

• 1/4 c. soy sauce


• 1/2 T. crunchy natural peanut butter


• 1 t. seasoned rice vinegar


• 1 t. agave nectar


• 2 t. water


• Juice of 1/2 a lime


• Ground ginger, to taste (I probably used 1/4 t. or so)

DIRECTIONS

Mix everything together. Duh.

* * * * * * * * *

To accompany the spring rolls, I finally decided to make the infamous General Tao's Tofu recipe from the VegWeb that I always hear people raving about. It looked so damn good on people's blogs, that I've been drooling over it for weeks. I was trying not to get my hopes up too high about it, since I tend to be slightly disappointed about things that get overhyped. But damn if people weren't correct.

For some reason I was expecting something a bit spicier and, um, tasting a bit more brown-sauce based (not sure why--I think it's just because General Tso's chicken/tofu is typically that way... spicy spicy), but this sauce was a bit more like a subtle sweet-and-sour sauce. Delightful though. And easy to boot. I was also pleased to note that it made for some DAMN good leftovers. I highly recommend.

General Tao's Tofu



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 box of firm tofu


• egg substitute for 1 egg plus 3 T. water


• 3/4 c. cornstarch


• vegetable (I used sesame) oil for frying


• 3 chopped green onions


• 1 T. minced ginger


• 1 T. minced garlic


• 2/3 c. vegetable stock


• 2 T. soy sauce


• 4 T. sugar


• red pepper to taste


• 1 T. white vinegar


• steamed broccoli


• 1 T. sherry (optional--I did not use it)

DIRECTIONS:

Drain, dry and cut tofu into 1 inch chunks. You can freeze tofu the night before to get a more chicken-like consistency, but it isn't necessary. (I pressed mine as well for about an hour/hour-and-a-half ahead of time.) Mix the egg replacer as specified on the box and add the additional 3 tablespoons water. Dip tofu in egg replacer/water mixture and coat completely. Sprinkle 3/4 cup cornstarch over tofu and coat completely. Watch out that the cornstarch doesn't clump up at the bottom of the bowl.

Heat oil in pan and fry tofu pieces until golden. Drain oil.

Heat 3 Tablespoons vegetable (or sesame) oil in pan on medium heat. Add green onions, ginger and garlic, cook for about 2 minutes. Be careful not to burn garlic. Add vegetable stock, soy sauce, sugar, red pepper and vinegar. Mix 2 Tablespoons water with 1 Tablespoon cornstarch and pour into mixture stirring well. Add fried tofu and coat evenly.

Serve immediately with steamed broccoli over your choice of rice.

Serves: 4

(Original recipe HERE)

Vegan Yogurt Banana-Lime Dressing

For lunches for the week, I've been sorta digging on cabbage as of late. Anything and everything coleslaw is what I'm all about. So I decided to try out this banana-inspired coleslaw recipe from the FatFreeVegan recipe database. Sadly, I was a bit disappointed with the slaw itself--I didn't use the precise amounts they have listed here, so that may have had something to do with it. But regardless, I can say that I'm definitely *not* a fan of the melon-cabbage combination. According to my tastebuds, the flavors clash quite a bit. And my tastebuds are pretty knowledgeable when it comes to what they do/don't like.

However, the yogurt-banana-lime dressing is out of this world and would make a delightful way to spice up any fruit salad. So I'm leaving out the cabbage-melon slaw recipe itself (you can track that down through the links if you so choose) and just including the recipe for the dressing instead. It's banana-y. It's tofu-y (but doesn't taste it) which means it's a good shot of protein. It has a bit of lime-y zing. And it's creamy and delish. Definitely worth checking out.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. silken soft tofu


• 1 ripe banana, peeled


• 1-2 t. grated lime zest


• 3 T. fresh lime juice


• 2 T. brown rice syrup or other vegan sweetener


• 1 t. salt


• 1/2 t. freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Toss everything into a food processor and process until smooth. Refrigerate until chilled. Top off your favorite fruit salad with a little. (I'd dribble it on right before serving rather than mixing it in with the fruit and letting it sit in the fridge--if you do the latter, the juices from the fruit leach out all over the place, and the dressing ends up getting watered down.)

I also think this would be tasty with the addition of a bit of shredded coconut--or on top of chunks of fresh coconut... I don't like coconut though, so I didn't try it. But the flavors seemed like they would mingle well.

(Original recipe HERE)

E's Tofu Breakfast Wraps & Breakfast Potatoes

On my birthday, E was kind enough not only to hook me up with a vegan ice cream cake but to also cook me one of the best breakfasts I've had in a long long time.

After much hemming and hawwing over what I wanted him to make, I settled on breakfast burritos. I've been a long-time breakfast-burrito whore (I used to get them at McD's all the time in high school--yes, back in the day, I worked for and ate at my arch-enemy's; thank god the times have changed), and we have pancakes fairly frequently, so I was, needless to say, all over that idea.

I gave him the following demanding guidelines for said breakfast burritos: they needed to have tofu, mushrooms, and fake-sausage. Other than that, he could experiment as much as he liked. And experiment he did, toying with a recipe from Vegan Faminly Favorites and coming up with this gloriously delicious recipe.

Hot damn if they weren't the best damn breakfast burritos I've had. Hands down. I'd like to say it was because I knew that there was a bit of love baked in, but shit--I think it was just the mad skillz of the cook.

So yeah, if you eat no other breakfast this year, let it be this one.

E's Tofu Breakfast Wraps

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 T. olive oil


• 1 lb firm tofu, drained, patted dry and mashed


• 1 small yellow onion, diced


• 1/2 green bell pepper diced


• 1/2 red bell pepper diced


• 1 jalapeno diced


• 1/2 tube Gimme Lean sausage style


• 2 fresh garlic cloves, minced


• 1/4 t. turmeric


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1 package whole wheat tortillas


• Black-bean salsa (or any other type you prefer)

DIRECTIONS

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet until hot. Add mashed tofu and allow to cook for about three minutes (or until lightly browned). Meanwhile, place the Gimme Lean in another frying pan as you would cook veggie crumbles, etc., until lightly browned. Add all peppers, onion, garlic, turmeric, salt, and sausage to the tofu. Stir together then cook for 8 minutes on low-medium heat until vegetables are cooked. Spoon mixture into warm tortillas, add some salsa, and serve!

E's Breakfast Potatoes

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 large potatoes, diced


• 1/4 onion, diced


• 1 T. olive oil


• generous portion of freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Heat oil in large frying pan until quite hot (over medium-high flame). Add potatoes, grind lots of fresh pepper over the potatoes, and cook for awhile, turning them from time to time, until they are brown on all sides. Once all potatoes are browned, add the onions. Continue to cook until the potatoes are cooked through (this could take 15 minutes). Don't worry if they turn dark brown. They are best that way. Once the potatoes are cooked through (i.e., soft enough to eat), remove from flame, scoop onto dish, and enjoy!

Grilled Teriyaki and Other Stuffs That I Didn't Make--So THERE!

E cooked this weekend, and he whipped up one of his usual simple but tasty meals. It was delish--the only thing we both commented on was that the tofu was a bit salty, so take that into considerations, darlings, before whipping this up. Just a wee bit of tweeking with regard to the soy and teriyaki should do the trick.

To illustrate how he likes things short and sweet when it comes to meals and recipes, I post his recipes exactly as he typed them up for me. =)

marinade:

about 1/2 cup teriyaki
about 1/2 cup soy sauce
about 3 tbs lemon juice
grind fresh rosemary and thyme in processor. add to marinade
two cloves garlic, minced.

soak pressed tofu in marinade for 45 minutes to an hour.

grill

serve.

beans:
boil green beans for five minutes.
place beans, two tbs olive oil, roasted walnuts, a few dashes of mrs. dash or some other garlic/herb mix, and cranberries in frying pan and saute until hot and cranberries burst.

serve

Sun-Dried Tomato Alfredo

Back when I first went vegan, my very sweet and very animal-loving friend dorklepork bought me the VwaV cookbook and also included photocopies of some of her tried-and-true favorite recipes from various other sources. I had the pleasure of trying out her Big Bread at my Vegan Barbecue this summer, and finally finally finally this past weekend I got around to trying out the vegan alfredo recipe as well. And man alive is it yummy.

I had a bit of trouble hunting down some vegan parmesan (again, we run into that dastardly idiocy that is milk-derived products in non-dairy cheese--*fart*) but I finally managed to track some down at Nature's Bin (which I really wish I would've explored a bit earlier-on in my veganism as it is pretty damn kick-ass).

Also inspired by the plethora of stuffed-tofu recipes I've been seeing pop up on people's food blogs, I decided to attempt a stuffed-tofu recipe of my own on the side. This ended up being not so fantastic as the alfredo recipe, so I'm not gonna post the recipe. But I will tell you what was in it: I sauteed up some spinach, baby 'bellas, garlic, and tomatoes and attempted to stuff two tofu-halves with it. Baking them in the oven was taking too long and they weren't goldening up at all, so I ended up tossing them in the broiler instead, which did work better, but the end result was still a disappointment. It was by no means gross or inedible; it was, simply, boring. Next time, I am going to take a little bit more guidance from other people's stuffed tofu recipes, because there's got to be a better way to cook 'em then the way I did.

Despite the failure on the tofu-front, the alfredo definitely made up for it. I un-low-fattified (yes, that IS a word, thank you very much!) the recipe, and I also tweaked it a bit to give it more flavor, and the end result was delightful. My fella even called me up the next afternoon out of the blue to say that the sauce was fricking awesome (he was randomly chowing down on some leftovers for lunch), and if a sauce is good enough to compel someone to actually call you to tell you how much they like it, it's gotta be a decent sauce.

So despite the ugly, 1970's-ish picture (damnable apartment-lighting!), this alfredo is worth your while.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 pkg. silken tofu


• 3 T. vegan margarine, room temperature or melted (I used Earth Balance)


• 1/4 cup vegan soy parmesan


• 2 T. nutritional yeast


• Soy milk


• 3-4 sun-dried tomatoes, rehydrated


• 3-4 cloves of garlic, diced


• Salt and pepper to taste


• Wheat linguine noodles (cooked according to the package)


• Thinly-sliced basil

DIRECTIONS:
Toss all your ingredients (minus the noodles, soy milk, and 1 T. of vegan margarine) into a food processor and process. Gradually add soy milk until it's a smooth and creamy consistency. Toss the remaining tablespoon of vegan margarine into a saucepan along with your garlic and heat until fragrant. Then transfer your sauce into the saucepan as well and heat gently, stirring frequently. You may find yourself needing to add more soy milk as it heats, simply because it thickens up crazily. So do so if necessary. (If you have leftovers and reheat them the next day, you will probably need to do the same.) Serve over pasta with some thinly-sliced basil sprinkled on top.

Some of the comments left about the original recipe complained that it tasted too tofu-y, but (despite it being the main ingredient) I didn't taste it at all.

Original recipe: HERE

Cerberus, The Three-Headed Dip

So I'm back in black, babies!

Campy horror movie night was a success and a blast and a gorefest and a laughfest, all rolled into one. And man do I have recipes out the ass. Prepare yourselves.

We ended up laughing our way through two different horror flicks, Bloodlust, which features the dad from The Brady Bunch, and The Killer Shrews which is no doubt one of my all-time favorite campy horror flicks. It features dogs with added fur cloaked over their backs to look like "killer shrews." It features an unbelievable amount of alcohol consumption--my friend Mo pointed out, quite brilliantly, that this would make an awesome horror flick for a drinking game... If you drank one shot or a few gulps of beer every time someone in the movie did, you'd be quite lit very very quickly... please note this suggestion. ; ) And it features some of the funniest (and unintentional) one-liners ever ("I don't believe in asking questions, it's against my principles" and "I'll take a dull, alive woman any day"). Much too much fun.

I decked out my apartment to the brim with Halloween decorations (I love Halloween and I've built up a good collection, but I did venture out to the Halloween store for more over the weekend, including a sweet skeleton-hand punch ladle--woot woot).

I also couldn't resist the fake-blood at the store (especially when I checked the ingredients and realized that--apparently--it was vegan), so I of course had to zombify myself for the evening, grossing people out with the blood smeared all around my mouth and in my hair.

And the goodies were plentiful and enjoyed by everyone. As I mentioned last week, I whipped up everything from various dips to veganized witch's finger cookies (which were a success, folks!) to black punch complete with a frozen ice cube hand, so expect lots of recipe gems this week.

To start us off, I shall share with you the Cerberus of chip-dips I made for the party, from the boring to the sublime.

On the boring end of the range was the spicy peanut dip from The Garden of Vegan. I even added extra peanut-butter to the dip, and it still did nothing for me, which was a bit disappointing. It just tasted potently tofu-ish. And clearly other folks felt the same, seeing as it was relatively untouched at the end of the night. I'd stear clear--I'm sure there are plenty of other good dips in that recipe book to make use of instead.



For my second dip, I tried out Courtney's Smoky Chipotle and Black Bean Dip from Fat-free Vegan and it was quite quite good. I consumed way too much of the leftovers while zombied out (no pun intended) in my pjs in front of a movie yesterday in a post-party stupor. I made no variations to the recipe, but it DID end up inspiring me to make my own black bean salsa (whose recipe I'll post in a moment).

Smoky Chipotle and Black Bean Dip

INGREDIENTS:

• 1/3 c. green onion, thinly sliced


• 2 t. garlic, minced


• 2 t. cumin


• 1 - 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed


• 1/2 c. water


• 1/4 c. freshly chopped cilantro


• 2 T. lime juice


• 1 T. freshly chopped oregano


• 1 t. chipotle chiles in adobo, pureed


• 1/4 t. salt

DIRECTIONS:

In a small non-stick skillet, sauté the green onions and garlic for 3-4 minutes or until softened. Add the cumin, sauté 3 additional minutes or until fragrant, remove from heat, and set aside. In a food processor or blender, combine the green onion mixture and the remaining ingredients, and puree until smooth. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed, you can also add more chipotle puree if you like spicy flavors. Serve with tortilla chips, crackers, or veggies.

* * * * * * * * *
For the final of the three dips (and my favorite), I whipped up a black-bean salsa of sorts. It turned out SO fricking tasty that it even surprised me, and my friend Joe fiendishly consumed most of it during the course of the night and lavished it with compliments, so I suspect I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Black Bean and Corn Salsa

INGREDIENTS:

• One 15 oz. can of black beans, drained


• 1/2 a can of corn


• About 1/2 a 28 oz. can of diced tomatoes (or a 15 oz. can would work just as well, obviously)


• 3 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/4 c. chopped cilantro


• Juice of one lime

DIRECTIONS:
Mix all the ingredients together. Let sit for at least an hour so the flavors mingle. Serve.

This final recipe is so fricking simple that you'll be amazed out how good it tastes.

* * * * * * * * *
As for the rest of the week's recipes, I promise to post the finger-cookies recipe sooner rather than later as I suspect some of you may very well be throwing your own Halloween galas this upcoming weekend. So stay-tuned for tomorrow's post.

Chocolate Almond Midnight Cake

Last week, I noticed a post in the vegancooking livejournal forum about the Chocolate Almond Midnight cake from The Millenium Cookbook, and it looked and sounded so good (and relatively easy) that I decided I'd have some fun this weekend and try it out myself.

I was actually mildly disappointed with it, especially after reading the rave reviews coming from the person who posted it. It was a decent enough recipe, but it wasn't as amazing as I'd hyped myself up into believing it would be. But take that with a grain of salt--perhaps you will manage to whip it up into something magical and orgasmatronic if you try it yourself.

I don't own springform pans, so it was a bit more of a hassle to put together than it normally would've been (I had a hard time dislodging the mousse mold and had to do a bit of smoothing afterwards to make it look prettier), but it is feasible to do. The cashew crust was good, but I've had better. Cooking the chocolate mousse gave it an interesting texture, but even that wasn't anything to write home about--the chocolate mousse pie recipes I've used have been comparable (if not arguably better). I will admit that I didn't serve it with the mint leaves (and I just used raspberry preserves instead of making my own), so perhaps we can hold those things responsible. But all in all, I don't know that I'd go out of my way to bake it again.

If you do try to tackle it though, I will say this: if you freeze it, it somehow tastes better. Don't ask me why, but it makes the mousse seem creamier and almost like an ice cream pie.

INGREDIENTS:

Cashew Crust:


• 1/3 c. unsalted cashew nuts


• 3 T. vegan sugar


• 3 T. canola oil


• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract


• 1 c. all-purpose flour


• 1/8 t. salt


Chocolate Mousse:


• 2 c. (16 oz) chocolate chips


• 24.6 oz (2 boxes) extra-firm silken tofu (Mori-Nu)


• 3/4 c. vegan sugar


• 1 t. vanilla extract


• 1/8 t. sea salt


Maple Almond Praline:


• 1/4 c. maple syrup


• 1 c. slivered almonds


Raspberry Sauce (I just used raspberry preserves because I'm lazy):


• 2 c. fresh or 10 oz frozen raspberries, thawed


• 1/4 c. vegan sugar



• fresh mint leaves

DIRECTIONS:

First, preheat the oven to 350F, and oil a 8-inch round springform pan. In a food processor, grind the cashews to a fine meal. Add sucanat, oil, and vanilla, and process again until combined. In a small bowl, mix the flour and salt together, then add the cashew mixture and mix it in (start with a spatula, end with your hands). Press the crust into the pan, and bake 20-25 minutes, or until light brown and dry.
While the crust is baking, melt the chocolate chips. In a blender, combine the tofu, sucanat, vanilla, and salt. Blend until well mixed, then add melted chocolate and blend for 2 minutes, or until very smooth. Once the crust is done, lightly oil the sides of the pan and pour the mousse in. Bake for 35 minutes at 350F, then let cool for 10 minutes, then run a paring knife around the inside of the pan (to prevent sticking). Let the mousse cool to the touch, then refrigerate for at least 2 hours. Unmold just before serving.
While the mousse is baking, bring the maple syrup to a boil in a saucepan, boil for a minute, then ad almonds and stir constantly until the syrup has completely crystallized and almonds appear dry. (Mine just turned into a sticky, yucky mess, so good luck with that!) Pour the almonds on a baking sheet and let cool.
Next, blend the raspberries and sucanat until smooth, and strain the seeds out. Depending on the mesh size of your strainer, you may have to strain several times to get all/most of the seeds out.
To serve, cut the mousse into 12 pieces. For each slice, pool raspberry sauce on a plate, top with a slice of mousse, then top with praline and mint cut into fine chiffonade (very thin strips). Dust w/ cocoa powder if you like.

Neat-Loafing It Up

I've been tagged to list out my top 5 favorite foods that a person should, nay MUST, try before they die, and I have to say--I really need to give this thing some damn thought! I feel like I shouldn't just whip out my top 5 on my first day back to work after a holiday weekend--I suspect it would be delusional and unpleasant at best. And the quality of people's remaining lives depends on it! *Sobbing at all the pressure!* So I promise to post ye ol' top 5 foods tomorrow--word!

This weekend I baked cookies. But alas, pics came out like crap. So they shan't be posted here. But just in case you wanted to know--they were the peanut butter cookies from Sinfully Vegan, and I was not all that impressed by them. They were not sweet enough for my sweet tooth (though E said they were just right for his), and they boasted being "healthier" as PB cookies go--they were only 85 calories a cookie. But once you saw how fricking tiny each cookie was, it made a lot more sense why they were being considered "healthier"--anything's lower in calories and fat when it's 1/3 of the size of a normal cookie. I honestly would probably not make them again--Vegan with a Vengeance does up PB cookies WAY better, trust me.

E made up for my lack of cooking this weekend by regaling me with his instead, and I was very pleased. He made (for a second time) the "neat loaf" recipe from Cooking with PETA which is a damn fricking tasty recipe, especially for being so ridiculously simple to make (just think tofu, wheat germ, nutritional yeast, onions, and seasonings--E'ed up with a bit of fresh rosemary on top). I love this stuff--it tastes like a cross between meatloaf and stuffing. Num num.

On the side, he whipped up some potatoes of his own imagination (that needs to be a name for a recipe: "Potatoes of His Own Imagination"--hee hee), out of potatoes, onions, mushrooms, vegan butter, and fresh rosemary. This stuff was also really stinking flavorful for being very simple--just thrown in a casserole and baked until the taters were soft.

And finally, he wanted to try out this Tomato Basil Quinoa that they've started selling at Wild Oats, so he whipped some of that up as well (it's the blurry stuff on the back left of the picture). This was also really yummy for already-seasoned quinoa, and uber-simple to whip up. It'd be well worthwhile stocking some boxes of this in your cupboard for when you're pressed for time...

All in all, although I didn't cook much this weekend (despite plans to--we were gonna make split pea burgers for a cookout that fell through and I was gonna whip up a batch of VwV's black bean and corn stew, but that's on the backburner until this weekend), I did eat well. And I thank E (and good ol' Johnny Mango) for that.

Stay tuned tomorrow for my top 5!

Pseudo-Pad Thai with Mango and Caramelized Limes

Last week I mentioned that I thought the peanut sauce I'd made might make a nice base for a pad thai. I think all the talk and conjecture over the dish got my tastebuds hankering for it, so I decided on Sunday to do a bit of experimenting and see if I might be able to modify the sauce in such a way as to make it taste pad thai-ish.

I originally wanted to add the tamarind paste that so many pad thai dishes call for, but I was unable to track it down. (I'm going to have to keep my eye out on future trips to Asian Food Marts and/or Wild Oats.) So then I decided to see if ketchup might be an ok substitute (I'd seen that in a few recipes as well), but when I tried it in a wee bit of sauce, it tasted nast, so I gave up on that idea.

After all was said and done, the only alterations I made were the substitution of lime juice for the lemon, and the addition of ginger. I really liked this dish quite a lot (as did E), but it still doesn't have that very unique and specific pad thai taste to it quite yet--but hey, that just means more tasty experimentation, so I can't complain. As it stands right now, it tastes like a bit peanuttier pad thai--still damn tasty, but not yet perfect, so be forewarned.

I added mango on the side because, damn, if the flavors don't complement each other. And inspired by a recipe in Fresh and Fast Vegan Pleasures (which calls for caramelizing lemons), I caramelized some limes and served those on the side so they could be squeezed over the dish to taste. The caramelization process nixes some of their sour flavor, and adds a lovely, sweet richness to them.

INGREDIENTS:

Sauce

• 1/2 c. peanut butter


• 1/2 c. hot water


• 4 T. soy sauce


• 3 T. vegan brown sugar


• 1/2 t. cayenne pepper


• 3 t. fresh lime juice


• 1/4 t. ginger

Noodles

• A box of rice noodles

The Rest

• Peanut oil (I used canola, but peanut would probably taste a lot better)


• 1/2 a block of tofu, crumbled


• Broccoli (cut in wee tiny bits)


• Ginger


• Bean sprouts


• Red pepper flakes


• Peanuts


• Scallions, sliced in thin little circles


• 1-2 limes, quartered


• Mango, slivered

DIRECTIONS:

Make the sauce by whipping together the water and peanut butter until it is smooth. Gradually start adding the rest of the ingredients while whisking to maintain smoothness. Set sauce aside.

Soak noodles in hot (but not boiling) water for about 30 minutes or so. They will still be a bit al dente, but they will soften up when you stirfry them. Drain. Set aside.

Place a little bit of oil (maybe a tablespoon or so) into a large pan/wok (or pot if you only have smaller pans--there's gonna be a lot of ingredients) and heat. Add the tofu and fry until it's starting to cook through (but not yet brown). Add the broccoli. Sprinkle a bit of ginger on the two. Cook until the tofu is starting to brown. Toss in the bean sprouts and heat for about a minute. Then add the noodles, the sauce, and some red pepper flakes to taste. (You may need to spray the pan again with nonstick spray first so the sticky peanut butter sauce doesn't make the noodles stick--you may not.) Stirfry until the noodles have softened some (without becoming mushy).

Remove from heat. Add a tiny bit of oil back to the pan. Toss the limes in. Cook each lime-quarter for about a minute per side, until it's a bit golden. Remove from heat.

TO SERVE:

Dish out a heaping serving on a plate. Top with scallions and peanuts to taste. Encircle noodles with some slivered mango and a couple quarters of caramelized lime, to be squeezed over the noodles liberally. Serve.

Serves 4-6, depending on how big a pig you are.

LEFTOVERS: This definitely tasted more like pad thai the first day. Upon reheating, it tasted moreso like a peanut sauce, though still yummy. Don't ask me why. But it did.

Italian Tofu "Steaks" and Sauteed Green Beans with Mushrooms

E cooked this weekend--he made fantastic "steaks" and a lovely light and wine-kissed side of greenbeans, both from Vegan with a Vengeance. I am a ho for all things mushroomed and wined as of late, so this made my little gullet happy.

No recipes today as the dinner was cooked straight out of VwaV with little adjustments.

But look how pretty it is!

That's all I have to say about that.

Lemon-Rosemary Stirfry with Caramelized Onions

So I've never ever caramelized onions before but felt a sudden burst of inspiration Thursday night when I realized I had a little bit of time to spare and a little bit of onion to use up. Holy mother of god--caramelizing onions is the fricking easiest. And they are SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY good. And I don't even like onions.

In an effort to use up leftovers, I whipped this stirfry up. Not quite so simple as the annoyingly simple stirfry I posted last week, but just as good. The broccoli and tofu will be *very* lemony, but once you mix them in with the caramelized onion, you will have a lovely contrast of sweet and sour.

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 block of extra-firm tofu, pressed for 45 minutes or so
A couple florets of broccoli, the bushy parts cut off into small chunks
One vidalia onion
2 lemons
Fresh rosemary
Walnuts, toasted
Olive oil
Sugar
Two servings of couscous, cooked

DIRECTIONS:

While the tofu is being pressed, squeeze the juice from your two (small) lemons into a bowl. Add some fresh rosemary to taste. Let sit.

Put the olive oil (I used 2 T., but you can probably vary this) in a small saucepan and heat. Slice up your vidalia into thin slices and then add to the oil. Once the onion has begun to soften (about 5 minutes) add a teaspoon of vegan sugar and stir. Let the onion continue to cook for near 10 minutes or so, stirring often--it will begin to turn a rich brown color and get beautifully sweet, which means you are successfully caramelizing it.

While it caramelizes, dice up your tofu, and add this to a frying pan (perhaps with a bit of non-stick spray). Add the lemon-rosemary mixture. Fry until it is beginning to brown some. Add the broccoli. Add a tiny bit of sugar (no more than a teaspoon). Fry until the broccoli is tender.

Toss the vidalia onions, tofu, and broccoli over your cooled couscous. Add walnuts to taste.

Drink a toast to caramelized onions!

Makes 2 medium-sized servings or 1 very large serving.

Teriyaki Spinach and Tofu Stirfry

This is such an annoyingly simple recipe that it perhaps doesn't even deserve mention here, but hey, every once in a while you sit down to cook and find yourself thinking, "Damn, I wish I had an annoyingly simple recipe I could cook right now." So here it is!

INGREDIENTS:
Fresh spinach, rinsed well and stems removed
1/2 cube of extra firm tofu
1/2 of an onion, cut up into thin strips
A small chunk of fresh ginger, cut up into thin strips
Sesame seeds
Teriyaki sauce

As you can see, some of the ingredients do not have exact measurements--this is because I was working with junk in my fridge that I was trying to use up and probably could've easily added more of, say, the spinach. So do so to your own taste--you like sweet-ass ginger? Then hook yourself up with a buttload, you chefly beeyotches.

DIRECTIONS:
Heat up a pan and spray with non-stick, oil-free spray. Toss in the tofu, ginger, and onions. Cook until most of the moisture has been sucked out of the tofu (you could probably alternately press the tofu beforehand, but I was hungry and didn't feel like waiting) and the tofu and onions are fairly browned all over. Toss in the sesame seeds and spinach and cook until the spinach is just starting to wilt. Then toss in some teriyaki to taste and fry it up until it's good and absorbed. Then eat with chopsticks. If you don't eat with chopsticks, I will come over to your house and knock that bowl right out of your hands!

Makes 1 serving.

Orange-Bourbon Shishkabobs w/ Tofurkey Kielbasa, Blueberry and Wild-Rice Salad, and Mint Juleps, to Boot!

As mentioned earlier in the week, Saturday night I had plans to party it up Mark-Twain-style, and so we busted out the barbecue, the mint juleps, and the Mark Twain and had ourselves a sweltering, church-going, plantation kind of night! Why, you ask? Well, mostly just because I wanted to try out this Orange-Bourbon Marinade recipe I'd stumbled across and wanted to use for shishkabobs, which meant buying some bourbon, which in turn meant finding uses for bourbon, which in turn meant finally trying a damn mint julep, which in turn meant (of course) reading some Mark Twain.

Saturday afternoon, I whipped up this extremely simple (but flavorful) marinade and tossed some baby 'bellas, onion chunks, and diced up tofu into it to marinate throughout the afternoon and into the evening. I also boiled up some red baby potatoes so that we could throw them on the skewers as well and they wouldn't take excessively-long to grill.


ULTIMATE INGREDIENTS OF THE SHISHKABOBS:

Extra-firm tofu, chunks of onions, and baby 'bellas, all marinated in the Orange-Bourbon Marinade
One red-pepper, chunked
One green-pepper, chunked
5 red baby potatoes (pre-cooked and sliced in two)

Orange-Bourbon Marinade: RECIPE

E also found himself with a hankering for kielbasa that afternoon, so he picked up some Tofurkey kielbasa for us to grill up as well, along with a homemade batch of peasant-bread that he'd made the night before.


To top all that off, I picked up some no-cook fresh ears of corn at the market on Friday--I love this corn way the hell up... It is so gloriously sweet and tender that you can eat it right off the cob without ever needing to cook it. If you haven't tried it, you must.

And finally, I whipped up a batch of Blueberry and Wild-Rice Salad that I'd also been eyeing all week, and damn was it good. The most complicated part about the recipe was the dressing, but it was well-worth the grating effort. The only adjustments I made (or would make in the future) were that I used a variety of dried fruit (since I didn't wanna spend $6+ on buying a bag of apricots and a bag of cranberries) and in the future, I would probably cut the amount of oil in the dressing in half (if not more) as it was much greasier than it needed to be, especially for a fruit and rice salad. But seriously, well-worth the time and effort as it was wonderfully flavorful and summery-tasting.


Blueberry and Wild-Rice Salad: RECIPE

And of course, the night wouldn't've been complete without some homemade mint juleps... Man alive, these babies were strong--I'd imagine there's a helluva lot of drunken southern ladies sitting out on their porches, fanning themselves desperately on a nightly-basis if these really are the cat's pajamas down south. =)


INGREDIENTS (For one mint julep):

Ice
3 oz Jim Beam bourbon
5+ sprigs of fresh mint
1 t. sugar

Mix and try to make it through to that last sip, as it is the best one.

All in all it was a very spirited and fun evening, and I'd definitely recommend both recipes for grilling out with friends or family. I'd've said all that in a mock-southern drawl, but you'd just end up making fun of me. =)

OBLIGATORY READING: "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County" by Mark Twain

Cornmeal and "Ham" Griddlecakes with a Side of "Better than Bacon"

I wrote a big, long, laugh-your-ass off brilliant, amazing write-up on the cornmeal and "ham" griddlecakes and "Better than Bacon" I made on Sunday, but then the damn computer here crashed on my last sentence, and I lost it all. Why, God, why?!?!

So use your imagination today, and picture this as the funniest, wittiest, most brilliant thing you've ever read, even though it probably will not be.

And in case your imagination sucks, continue reading, and I will instead attempt to hypnotize you into thinking it.


When I snap my fingers, you will think that
this is the most brilliant thing you've ever read!
This is the most brilliant thing you've ever read!
This is the most brilliant thing you've ever read!
This is the most brilliant thing you've ever read!
This is the most brilliant thing you've ever read!

Uh, yeah.

So back to the food. I hadn't cooked breakfast for me or the feller in a while, so when I stumbled across both these recipes and realized I had all the ingredients at home already (except for the "ham"), I figured why the hell not.

At first I was suspicious of the Better than Bacon. I mean, how can tofu taste like bacon really? But I sliced it as thin as I could--I tried the cheese-slicer idea first which would've been brilliant if it had taken into account that most tofu is super-pock-marked and lumpy and bumpy so it's damn near impossible to get one continuous thin slice off the side without it falling apart, so eventually I gave up and just used a knife--and then dumped it into the fridge to marinate for a couple of days. When I removed it, it didn't look much different than when I put it in--it still looked pretty much as pasty-ass as a white-boy with a farmer's tan. But then I fried the shit out of it (and with fat-free oil-spray!!) and holy mother of god! We were both amazed at how much it tasted like bacon (god bless you, hickory smoke liquid!).

Seriously, if you can figure out a way to cut that tofu up into paper-thin slices, it actually fries up ridiculously crisp and crunchy. The few pieces that we thinned down enough were startlingly comparable with bacon in both their consistency and crunchiness. (And with only a smidgen of the calories!) Even the thicker slices (while not crunchifying quite so well) were really damn yummy. I was very-much impressed, especially given the simplicity of ingredients in the recipe.

"Better than Bacon": RECIPE

As for the cornmeal and "ham" griddlecakes, I decided from the get-go that I wasn't gonna use silken tofu for the recipe because I had no clue what I'd end up using the excess for, so I figured there was a pretty good chance it'd end up going to waste. So instead I substituted in Ener-G Egg Replacer for one egg. I also had my doubts about these pancakes as well, given that the batter was super-fricking thin, even after I let it sit for 10 minutes. But lo and behold, this was probably the easiest batter I've cooked with, when it came to flipping and cooking evenly and all that. And they were pretty damn hearty--the end result tasted like what you'd get if cornbread and a fake-pig were walking jollily down the road together when *slam* they got run over by a big ol' semi and were squashed into flattened mock-roadkill pancakes. Cornbready goodness in the shape of pancakes with little itty bitty fake hammy-goodness thrown in--that be my point. Again: simple and tasty.

Cornmeal and "Ham" Griddlecakes: RECIPE

All in all, both recipes are pretty damn easy, and I definitely recommend them both, particularly the "Better than Bacon" seeing as we both couldn't stop oohing and aahing over it all breakfast. Ever so pretty!


You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.
You will eat it, and you will like it.