(Today's main dish: Taco salad)
Lunch Lady: What can I get for you, sugar?
Me: Hi there... do you know if your refried beans are vegetarian?
LL: You know what? I really couldn't say!
Me: Um, well, do you know if they have lard in them?
LL: Oh, I have no idea. I'd have to go all the way in the back and look at the can.
Me: (waiting for more) Oh.
LL: And there's a LOT of ingredients on that can.
LL: So: what can I get for you?