So my blog feeder doesn't seem to be working, and it's kind of the internet equivalent of suddenly coming to the realization that there is no God--I am lost, forsaken, bored, sobbing, foxy, and in need of something to preoccupy me until I am born again, in the arms of the Interwebs. So I've created a meme. And it's a good one--the kind that makes your toes curl and your eyes roll back in your head and that you sneak under your mattress and only bust out once your husband is sound asleep.
So enjoy. I know I will...
The "I Think About Rick Astley's Tacos While Sexing It Up With My Partner" Meme
Quite often, people tend to stereotype vegans as moralistically stuffy, holier than thou, goody two-shoes-type folks who don't ever have any fun. (God knows, I never laugh, have sex for fun, eat sugar, get mad, or get tanked and do stupid shit. *Eye roll*) So I'm busting out this meme of my own today to shatter that stereotype.
If you decide to meme it up on your blog with this, gimme a shout in my comments so I can come check out what a bunch of pervs you veg*ns truly are. Oh, and if you ever want even HALF a chance of getting in my pants, link back, my babies. Link it. Ooh yes. Just like that.
What's your biggest guilty pleasure in the way of food?
I'm having a hard time answering this one, despite the fact that I'm the one who came up with the question. I'm gonna say faux-meats. I love them. AND YOU CAN SUCK IT, HATERS!
Have you ever done anything nasty to anyone's food and then served it to them?
Hm. No. If anything extra has ever been added to any food I've served, it's because I've accidentally dropped something on the floor--I rinse it off--or something accidentally fell in the food, such as a pigeon or toenail.
Have you ever lied to an omni, telling them you were serving them something meaty but instead serving them veg-food?
I don't think so. If I have, then I probably told them afterwards, in a "Surprise: what you just ate isn't meat"-type way.
Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
Yes. For being Too Sexy For My Own Good.
What is the weirdest thing you've ever done in the sack?
Weird is such a subjective word. I've done many a weird thing, but right now, the first thing that's popping into my head (mainly because parts of the evening were way out of sync with my personality) is the one time that a) I got it on with a boy, b) we then ate vegan pie, naked in bed, and then c) the dude showed me some of his knife collection. Ha ha ha.
Who's the weirdest person you've ever done (or thought about while) in the sack?
I sometimes have random people pop into my head while doing it. And then I get horrified that they're popping into my head while doing it, which just ends up making me think about them even more. i.e. parents, boyfriend's friends, etc.
If, for the rest of your life, you could only have sexual relations with folks in one manner/style/position, what would it be?
Probably having someone go down on me. And/or doggy-style.
Do you have any weird fetishes? (i.e. Turned on by orange oily feces)
Not really. I once thought my knees might actually be an erogenous zone on me, but I've yet to have this verified. Oh, and I get turned on by avocado.
What's your worst drunken experience?
Thankfully I've not had too many. Probably just extensive dry-heaving after too many Goldshlagger lemonades mixed with hot-tubbing.
If you could eat any vegan food off another person's body, what would it be?
Avocado. My god. If there is a heaven, it would be just slice after slice of perfectly ripe avocado arranged like lines of coke down the bellies of any/all the members of my harem.
Have you ever done anything naughty with a vegetable?
Well, that one time, in Tijuana, Banana and I got it on up against the dumpster in the alley.
Do you think your mom would sleep with me if I asked nicely?
*Realizing that this question does not make sense when I ask it of myself*
Do you have any tatts or piercings?
Five tatts, one (non-ear) piercing.
Any strange names for you and your partner's privates (and/or your sex toys)?
I call my vibrator "Papa Smurf" as it is big and blue. And I've decided to start calling my bits n' pieces "The Scorner of Men" as that is the best nickname ever.
Are you into PDA?
Have you ever cheated on a significant other?
Emotionally perhaps. But never physically.
Did you ever walk in on your parents doing it when you were younger?
I don't believe so. If I did, I've clearly blocked it from my memory. *twitching a little and sobbing*
What's one of the craziest things you've ever done?
See "Have you ever done anything naughty with a vegetable."
If you could get it on with any vegetarian you know--famous or not--who would it be?
Ok. It would be a toss-up between Forest Whitaker, who I just adore and find deliciously sexy in an unexpected sort of way, and Thom Yorke who I just found out is fricking vegan and who (coincidentally) also shares a strange lazy-eye with Mr. Whitaker and whose crooning makes my bones twitter and chirp.
Oh, and VEGANMOFO!