Monday, October 27, 2008

Follow-Up Food-Related Pet Peeve

Bean Gum (bēn gŭm)

  1. Similar to the affliction of Bean Tooth, it is the state of being that occurs after an individual has consumed a bean-filled item of food, wherein one or two of the skins of the beans stick high up in one's gums in such a way that again renders the bean indiscernible to the touch of the tongue, thus causing one to walk around for one to ninety days with bean skins stuck up in one’s gums, only to have one appear out of nowhere in said individual’s mouth one to ninety days later while he/she is eating a completely unrelated food, causing them to think a) why is there a bean in my soy ice cream/peanut butter sandwich/cup of espresso? and then b) Dear god, when was the last time I actually HAD beans, and how long has this bean been actually hanging out in my mouth???
  2. The gum that has been inflicted with a case of Bean Gum: BLORGHGHGHG! Where the hell did this black bean-skin come from? I haven’t had black beans in 17 days and... OMG! I bet I had a bean gum!

So sayeth the Dictionary of VeganMofo. Again.

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