Mine is WAY Bigger Than Yours!

                  from Recipezaar


Super easy. (Just like your mom.) Yay for crusty French bread!

I will also continue to threaten your masculinity this week with some tartine recommendations from Urban Vegan, so stay tuned!



Failproof Crusty French Bread (For Your Bread Machine)

INGREDIENTS:

• 3-1/2 c. bread flour


• 1 t. salt


• 1 (1/4 ounce) package active dry yeast


• 1-1/4 c. warm water

DIRECTIONS

Place ingredients in bread machine according to manufacturers directions (essentially: wet, dry, yeast).

Start machine on dough setting.

When dough cycle is complete, remove dough with floured hands and cut in half on floured surface.

Take each half of dough and roll to make a loaf about 12 inches long in the shape of French bread.

Place on greased baking sheet and cover with a towel.

Let rise until doubled, about 1 hour. (Mine didn't engorge enough--snark--so I then preheated the oven and set the pan on top. This helped.)

Preheat oven to 450-F.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown, turning pan around once halfway during baking.

Remove baked loaves to wire racks to cool.


(Recipe from Recipezaar)

Whole Wheat Beer Bread

                                   from Vegan Crunk


Putting together this bread was a total Mr. Wizard experience.

I mixed all the dry ingredients together then dumped in my can of beer and...



Well, that, but in a more beer-foamy and less flamey kind of way.

It wooshed up into a big foamy beer-swirl that kept getting bigger and bigger as I whisked and then all the sudden FOOMP it instantaneously all vanished into a doughy mix.

Fun shit.

And despite my doubts about the bread--the directions said to "pour" it into my bread-pan, but the dough was thick and in no way "pourable" so I was a bit concerned--it came out quite good.

The top didn't smooth out 'cause of the thickness of the dough, but it gave it a kind of nice crumble-crunch to an otherwise soft squish bread.

The only other weird thing was that I *did* use sea salt (though only 1/4 of the amount called for) and it gave the bread the illusion that it had mold-pockets. The salt granules didn't dissolve all the way, they sort of just blossomed out into a white-pocket surrounding each granule, so I was forced to assure the folks eating it that it really wasn't moldy.

Ultimately though, I liked this bread. Mostly because it was super easy and didn't require kneading. And granted, I like crusty bread, and this certainly isn't that. But I'd definitely make it again, this time with a deeper stout-type beer (instead of the Brooklyn Winter Ale I used) as it's real good bread for dipping.

Also, it's fun to eat at work.

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 c. whole wheat pastry flour (I just used whole wheat flour)


• 3 t. baking powder


• 1-1/2 T. sugar


• 1 t. sea salt (I used 1/4 t.)


• 12 oz. of tasty vegan beer


• 1 Tbsp. soy margarine

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dry ingredients. Add beer. Stir to combine. Pour into a lightly greased loaf pan.

Bake for 30 minutes, and then brush margarine over the top.

Bake an additional 20-25 minutes or until a tooth pick inserted in the center comes out clean.

(Recipe from Vegan Crunk)

(Quicker) No-Knead Bread

                                       from the kitchen


I have a secret loathing for recipes that require kneading.

There.

I said it.

What a weight lifted from these shoulders.

I really want to ENJOY kneading, because as someone who loves to cook, it is probably one of the most intimate cooking activities you can engage in, considering you're actually--well--fondling the food. Like wrist-deep in it. Thrusting and smooshing and squeezing and... well, you get the point.

But I don't like it.

It's tiring. And 10 minutes of kneading seems like a fricking eternity.

So I was pleased when I happened across this recipe on somebody's blog recently. I have no recollection of whose blog I originally saw it on, probably because I was entirely distracted by the excitement of a no-knead bread recipe. But thank you, whichever of you lovely vegans posted about it recently.

It's super easy-peasy. And it's yummy.

The consistency is wonderful. Crusty outside, FANTASTICALLY perfect inside. The flavor, although good, definitely could be spiced up a bit. So next time, I plan to add some roasted garlic and herbs. (I definitely recommend halving (or maybe even quartering) the salt quantity though, 'cause I only used 1/2 and it was a bit salty.)

It really is ridiculously easy. And it's fantastic for dipping in soup and/or olive oil.

Oh, and for those of you who--like me--are like, wtf is a dutch oven, you can easily half-ass it by tossing a circular casserole dish into the oven for 15 minutes or so before dumping the bread into it.

And you can now use that extra 10 minutes you didn't spend kneading to do something else instead.

Suggestions:

Kneading someone's boobies.

Kneading someone's ass.

Baking me cookies.

Baking me brownies.

Baking me cake.

Baking me bread.

Getting baked.

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 c. bread flour


• 3/4 t. regular yeast (not instant)


• 1-1/4 t. salt [I recommend 1/4 to 1/2 t.]


• 1-1/2 c. water

DIRECTIONS

Mix all the ingredients in the morning before you go to work. This should take about 3 minutes and leave you with a thick, slightly goopy dough. Cover with a towel or some plastic wrap and leave it in the warmest spot in your kitchen. (I tossed mine in my mixing bowl with some plastic wrap over the top of it and tossed it in my closet that has my furnace in it.) It should get a 6 to 8-hour rise.

When you come home from work lightly mist a counter or baking sheet with spray oil and turn dough out on it. Shape it roughly into a ball, mist with oil again, and cover with a towel or plastic wrap. (I shaped mine into a ball, poured a tiny bit of olive oil into the mixing bowl I'd had it in, and then tossed the ball into the mixing bowl and shook it around until it was coated in olive oil. I then covered the mixing bowl back up with plastic wrap and tossed it back in my closet.) Let proof for about an hour, or however long you have.

Heat the oven to 450-F. Put a Dutch oven (or an alternative, such as a casserole dish) in the oven to heat. When the dough has doubled in size, put it in the pan. You may have to pour it, pry it off the baking sheet, or just roll it in - the dough is very wet. Don't worry if it looks a mess.

Cover the pot with a lid and bake for 30 minutes. Remove lid and bake for another 15 minutes to let it brown.

You can be really sure that the bread is done when an instant-read thermometer inserted into the side of the loaf reads 210-220-F.

(Recipe from the kitchen)

Pumpkin Biscuits

I said that sometime this week I was going to post some more of the Thanksgiving recipes I mentioned on Monday, but I lied. I LIED! BAHAHAHAHAHAH! Instead, I give you this pumpkin biscuit recipe, and the soft caressing promise that I will post at least the stuffing recipe sometime next week.

I whipped these biscuits up with some autumn harvest stew the other week when I had guests over, and (despite the fact that they're not rollable, cuttable biscuits like the original recipe claims--I think this may be because I chose their "vegetable oil" option instead of just subbing in Earth Balance for the butter) they were really fricking good. Enough so that, despite making enough for all my dinner guests to have two biscuits each, folks liked them so much that I somehow got sweet-talked into throwing another batch in the oven for everyone. The end result was that 16 biscuits were consumed within an hour by only 4 people. That is disturbing, and yet a testament to the fact that these biscuits are indeed yummy.

Also featured is one of the delightful little Ohio-shaped butter-pads that The Vegan Ronin whipped up for the Post T-Day Foodfest I had this past Saturday. Aren't they the cutest? <--- Clearly, this is foreshadowing some of next week's recipes/blog entries, if you hadn't figured it out... Lots of Post-T-day-Foodfest recipes to come... DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 c. unbleached all-purpose flour


• 1 T. baking powder


• 1/4 to 3/4 t. salt


• 1/2 t. ground allspice


• 3/4 c. canned pumpkin


• 1/2 c. soy milk


• 3 T. vegetable oil (or vegan margarine)


• 1 T. pure maple syrup

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 450F. Lightly oil a baking sheet (or alternately, lay out a sheet of parchment paper on your baking sheet) and set it aside.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, salt, and allspice in a large bowl.

In a separate bowl, combine the pumpkin, soy milk, vegan margarine (or oil), and maple syrup and stir until smooth.

Combine the flour mixture with the pumpkin mixture. Stir just until the mixture holds together; avoid over mixing, or biscuits will be tough.

Here is where I think the biscuit-forming will differ, depending on whether you used margarine or oil:

If you used margarine, and the dough seems to be stiff enough, roll it out on a lightly-floured work surface and roll out to 1/2-inch thickness. Using a 2-inch biscuit cutter or a drinking glass, cut out dough into rounds and place on prepared baking sheet. Reroll dough scraps and continue to cut out until all dough has been used.

If you used oil (which I did), your dough isn't going to be rollable, so you'll want to just make drop-biscuits instead. To do this, using a spoon, scoop up a generous amount of dough and plop it onto your baking sheet. Press down slightly so that it flattens out a little. Continue until your baking sheet is full.

Bake in the center of the preheated oven for 12 to 16 minutes, until tops are golden brown. Serve hot.

Makes about 20 biscuits.

(Original recipe from Green Living)

E's Sweet but Sassy Spaghetti, Meaty Balls, and Deliciously Sexy Heart-Attack Garlic Bread

Not only did I cook this weekend, but E did as well. He felt a hankering for italian food towards the end of the week, so he ended up whipping up a very inspired variety of italian cuisine on Friday night.

I have to say: there are a handful of eating habits that I used to possess that I am so thankful have changed. One, for example, is my sudden, fiendish love of beans, after years and years of detesting them. The other (and more relevant one with regard to this meal) is that I've finally gotten over my squeamishness about eating chunky cooked tomatoes. I don't know why I ever *HAD* a squeamishness. But for years and years, I loathed chunky tomato-sauces, and I'd use my handheld blender to zap everything tomatoey into smoothness.

No longer! Needless to say, E's sauce was particularly pleasing to me because it reminded me of how far (and how positively) my tastes in food have changed in just a few years.

Anyways, this is a really damn good sauce. I actually wasn't expecting it to be quite so orgasmically-tasty as it was. (Not that I thought it was gonna taste like regurgitated dog food, but I thought it would just taste like a pretty standard spaghetti sauce.) It took a long time to cook, but the end results were WELL worth it. It was chunky, it was hearty, it was sweet (but not *too* sweet), and it was delightful. I highly recommend.

To go with the pasta, he also whipped up some "meat"balls. When I was little, I had a long-standing hatred of anything meat-related in spaghetti, but I'm happy to say I've grown out of that as well (and I mostly have faux meatballs and faux ground-beef to thank for that). So needless to say, I looked forward to chowing down on some of these as well. And they didn't disappoint. They were flavorful, rich, and a wonderful contrast to the sweeter spaghetti sauce.

Last but not least, E split a half a loaf of fresh italian bread and whipped together garlic bread for us. This was like that so-bad-for-you-that-you-wanna-rub-it-all-over-your-nekkid-body kind of garlic bread that comes in the freezer section of the grocery store and is like 3-inches thick with butter, but WAYYYYY WAYYYY WAYYYY better. (I mean, look at how sexy it looks by candlelight--*picturing it with a bottle of wine, sweet-talking me into the sack*) I kinda miss the artery-clogging breads of yore, so it was nice to eat a veganized (and fresh) version of one, despite the fact that I'm mildly horrified now that I know how much vegan butter he used. Heh heh.

E's Sweet but Sassy Spaghetti Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. chopped onion


• 1/2 c. chopped green pepper


• 1/4 c. chopped celery


• 2 cloves garlic, minced


• 1 T. olive oil


• Two 14.5 oz cans of chopped tomatoes, undrained


• 1/3 c. water


• One 6 oz can tomato paste


• 2 T. snipped fresh parsley


• 1 t. crushed dried basil


• 1 t. crushed dried oregano


• 1/2 t. crushed dried marjoram


• 1 t. vegan sugar


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1/4 t. black pepper

DIRECTIONS
In a pot, cook the onion, green pepper, celery, and garlic in the hot oil until tender.

Stir in 1/3 c. of water, tomatoes, tomato paste, parsley, herbs, sugar, salt, black pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes, stirring occassionally. Uncover and simmer for 10-15 minutes more until it has reached desired consistency, continuing to stir occassionally.

E's Meaty Balls (*Growr*)

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 pkg gimme lean "ground beef"


• 1/4 t. garlic powder


• 1/4 t. dried oregano


• 1/4 to 1/2 t. fresh, chopped parsley.


• 1/2-3/4 T. olive oil

DIRECTIONS
Put all the herbs and garlic powder in a bowl with the gimme lean. Mix and mash with hands.

Heat about 3/4 T. olive oil in skillet until very hot. Roll gimme lean mixture into 1.5 inch balls. Place balls in hot oil and fry on all sides, turning often, until browned (that sounds so dirty--growr). Takes about 7-9 minutes.

E's Deliciously Sexy Heart-Attack Garlic Bread
INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. vegan butter/margarine


• 2 cloves fresh garlic, crushed


• 1 t. fresh chopped parsley


• 1 loaf italian bread

DIRECTIONS

Let butter sit out for a bit to soften. Add garlic and parsley to butter and mix well. Slather, quite generously, the butter mix on the italian bread that you have sliced lengthwise. Place bread under broiler until it's just beginning to turn brown on the edges and the butter is melted. Eat. Hopefully do not die immediately of clogged arteries. ; )

Muffins Gone Wild

We interrupt this peanut butterly-scheduled program to bring you a delightful recipe for mocha chip muffins, straight from the PPK. I figured you could use a break from all the talk of peanut butter recipes these past few weeks (mostly I'm just covering my back so that you don't end up suing me when you suddenly become 100 lbs. fatter, way more greasy, and start smelling faintly of peanuts).

I whipped up these very non-peanut-buttery muffins when I got home last night, and they were delightfully simple to make. I have yet to actually try one of them, so they *COULD* very well taste like dog food. But I plan to for breakfast. And I can say that the batter was fantastique, and the little nibblins of broken muffins were tasty as well. So I suppose that bodes well for the recipe.

Get this though... I'm taking perfectly harmless pictures of my muffins last night, when, Holy Mary Magdalene, out of the complete blue, this muffin comes running in front of the camera and whips off her top! I'm like, WTF! Apparently she thinks we're working for Muffins Gone Wild or something, and I try to explain to her that those kinds of trashy programs FILM girls topless (not take photographs of them). But she won't take no for an answer, and she's just standing around with no top on, freaking out all of my camera-people, so I ended up taking a few pictures just to appease her.

I've of course blocked out the dirty parts because, well, this ain't no p0rn0 site, folks. But you can still see her in all her glory.

Her mother should be ashamed.



MOCHA CHIP MUFFINS

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour


• 3/4 c. sugar


• 1/4 c. baking cocoa


• 2 t. instant coffee


• 2 1/2 t. baking powder


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1 c. soy milk


• 1/2 c. canola oil


• 2 T. soy yogurt


• 1 t. vanilla extract


• 1/2 c. chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375 F. Line 12 muffin tins with paper liners.

In a large bowl, sift together dry ingredients (flour through salt).

In a seperate bowl, wisk together wet ingredients (soy milk through yogurt) until emulsified.

Pour wet into dry and combine until dry ingredients are moistened. Fold in chocolate chips. Fill muffin tins almost to the top. Bake 18 - 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

(recipe from the PPK)

Chili n' Cornbread

Oh, man. I haven't posted in a while. Mostly because I suck.

Wait no--maybe it's because YOU suck!

No. Wait. It's because I suck. *sigh*

Last Thursday I had to stay home from work because I was sick and so was my cat Zooey (sort of). Turns out she was in heat which should strike you as kind of funny once you find out that SHE'D BEEN SPAYED ABOUT A YEAR AGO. Yeah. Turns out sometimes they don't manage to get everything out on the first try, which means (according to the vet) that technically, it's like she's not been spayed at all (she'll probably start going into heat again regularly and her chances of eventually developing mammary cancer or other bad things will continue to increase until all her lady parts are removed). Which means she has to get surgery. Again. So they can make sure to get everything out this time.

Apparently it is not that uncommon for them to not get everything, but still: COME ON, VET-PEOPLE! IT'S YOUR FRICKING JOB! SCOOP ALL THOSE LADY PARTS OUT ON THE FIRST TRY SO WE DON'T HAVE TO PUT OUR CATS THROUGH SURGERY NOT ONCE BUT TWICE WITHIN THE SAME YEAR! Gah.

Anyways, that's part of the reason you haven't heard from me in a while.

But now I'm back. Though not with a recipe today--alas.

I DID do a bit of cooking last week, though not much. One of the things I made was the Tex-Mex Chili from Madhur Jaffrey's World Vegetarian Cookbook which I snagged from the library after having read a few people rave about it on their blogs.

Despite the fact that I was excited about finally making a chili with both lentils and beans (I'm addicted to Aladdin's Len-Chili) I was actually rather disappointed with it on the grand-scale of chilis, particularly after the rave review given to it by Jaffrey who called it her family's favorite fall-back chili.

I think I have high-standards when it comes to chili, though more often than not, I've absolutely adored the recipes I've tried. So perhaps it's not so much high-standards as it is very specific tastes as to what I like in a chili. And this was not it. It was not spicy enough for me. Nor was it flavorful enough. Nor was it tomatoey enough. In fact, it kinda moreso tasted like a bland curry.

The only thing that gave it a bit more oomph was the addition of some vegan sour cream (which I've kinda become addicted to since making the vegan paprikash for X-mas).

I DID accompany it with a nice big batch of cornbread though, so that kind of helped it out. Which makes me realize that I do indeed have a recipe to share with you today--hurrat hurrah!

Enjoy!

Corny Cornbread



INGREDIENTS:

• 2 c. unbleached all-purpose flour


• 2 c. corn meal


• 2 T. baking powder


• 2/3 c. applesauce (I used unsweetened, but I actually think sweetened might work just as well if not better)


• 1/3 c. maple syrup


• 1/3 c. agave nectar


• 13 oz. soy milk (which I think I screwed up in c.-measurement land--I ended up using about 1 3/4 c. or so, but it still ended up being ok--in reality, this'd be a tiny smidge over 1.5 c.)


• 2/3 c. canned corn, drained


• pinch of salt

DIRECTIONS

Mix flour and baking powder. Add corn meal and salt; mix thoroughly. Mix wet ingredients in another bowl and then add to dry ingredients and mix well. The mixture should be a course, almost pourable batter. If the mixture seems a little dry, add soymilk to moisten. Fold the corn into the mixture.

Bake in a greased 9 x 11 baking pan at 350° for 30-35 minutes.

Baking time will vary from oven to oven. Corn bread should be light brown. Use a toothpick or knife to insert into the middle of the corn bread to check if it's done. If the toothpick comes out clean, you're all good.

Spicy Almond-Pear Muffins

INGREDIENTS:

2 3/4 c. all-purpose flour
1 c. wheat flour
1/4 c. flax meal
1/2 t. salt
6 t. baking powder
1 c. vegan sugar
egg replacer for 4 eggs
1/2 c. canola oil
1.5 c. sour soy milk (soy milk + 2 t. vinegar)
2 sm. pears (peeled and shredded)
toasted almonds (about 1/4-1/3 c. or so)

For cinnamony topping:
4 T. sugar
1/4 t. nutmeg
1/2 t. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350. Mix all the ingredients together (you may wanna add a little bit shy of the 1/5 c. sour milk if you have particularly ripe and juicy pears--which I did). Line a muffin pan with cupcake cups. Spray with nonstick-spray. Throw some batter into each cup, about 3/4 full or so. After all the cups are full, sprinkle some of the cinnamony topping on each one. Bake in the oven for 35-45 minutes (or until you poke with a fork and it comes out clean).

Makes about 18 muffins.

Originally, I used 1 t. salt (the recipe I modified it from called for this amount), but they came out a bit salty for my taste--I suspect either the almonds add a bit more saltiness to the batter or the recipe (that I very loosely based this muffin recipe on) intended Sea Salt to be used without specifying it (this is coming to be a bit of a pet peeve of mine). So I've adjusted that here. Also, the nutmeg is a bit spicy and overpowering, so I've cut down on the quantity here as well.

Overall, these muffins weren't bad. They're not obnoxiously sweet, but they have a bit of subtle flavoring and a good crunch to them. The consistency came out perfect on them (which with my temperamental stove is always a bit of a feat), so I was definitely pleased on that front. And the batter itself is tasty as all get-out--I had the worst stomach-ache all night because I kept chowing down on it while baking, only to realize that, given the massive amount of baking powder in the recipe, it was making my stomach bloat and making me wanna walk around letting out huge Barney-esque belches all night. And given that I only burp about twice a year, I was worried at some point I would explode.



VERDICT: A-/B+

Lauren's Procrastination Mango Muffins

Verdict: B

Comments: I was procrastinating in an attempt to avoid doing more important things I needed to do (and I had leftover mango from my crepe (mis)adventure, so I baked these muffins, modified from a pumpkin-muffin recipe. I realized I didn't have enough sugar so, being too lazy to go to the grocery store, I just put in as much as I had handy and then sprinkled brown sugar on top. I figured the mango was probably sweeter than pumpkin, so perhaps it'd make up for the sugar. It didn't really, but they still tasted flavorful for the most part. I recommend adding in some actual mango-chunks though.

RECIPE

1 c. white flour
3/4 c. wheat flour
1 c. pureed mango (here's where I'd add in some diced)
1 tbsp baking powder
some salt
1 1/4 c. vegan sugar (this is how much you *should* use--I only used a bit shy of 1 c.)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 c. soy milk
1/2 c. vegetable oil
2 tbsp molasses
brown sugar to sprinkle on top

DIRECTIONS: Mix wet ingredients in one bowl. Mix dry in the other. Dance around and sing to your cats instead of working on stuff you need to have done for tomorrow. Lightly oil a 12-muffin pan. Fill the muffin cups 2/3 full. Toss some brown sugar on top of each to taste. Toss into the oven at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes (or until knife pulls out of muffins cleanly). Sit and stare as they bake.

Fat-Free Vegan Banana Bread

* A Fat-Free Vegan Banana Bread (with semi-sweet chocolate chips and sunflower seeds)--this turned out a bit moister than I would've liked. And the semi-sweet chocolate chips tasted a bit too bitter for my taste. Whine whine whine.