Red Hot Mamas

I decided to bake some cookies last week, and I had a random cookie-recipe sitting at home that sounded good to me. I'd printed it out ages ago and stumbled across it while cleaning last week. The recipe was for chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies, or some such thing.

I was a bit thrown when I read the introductory blurb at the top of the recipe (which claimed that they were very popular cookies) and saw that the creator said they yielded only three really huge cookies (of tablespoon drop-cookie size), "just the way she liked them." I thought it a typo and assumed she meant three DOZEN (because who in god's name goes through the trouble of making dough for only three cookies??).

But I am stupid like that and, although I checked to make sure I had all the ingredients before I started putting the recipe together, I never checked the QUANTITIES, so when I hit the part of the recipe where I apparently was told to add only 2.5 Tablespoons of flour, I suddenly had a WTF moment. I have never in my life seen a cookie recipe calling for only 2.5 T. of flour. Again, being stupid, I assumed that they must've meant cups instead of tablespoons, and I commenced to adding 2.5 cups of flour.

Clearly it was not a typo for "cups," and it ended up turning into an enormous powdery mess.

I tried to rescue the recipe by adding soy milk, but the batter just turned into play-do consistency and didn't taste good at all.

I'm pretty certain there's no way that only 2.5 T. of flour would've made the cookies any better, but I guess I will never know what the typoed quantity should've been. End result: Me, dumping cookie dough very angrily into my garbage can.

Needless to say, once I figure out where that recipe came from, I AM HUNTING DOWN THE CREATOR AND RIPPING OFF ALL THEIR FINGERNAILS AND THEN KICKING THEM IN THE NIPPLES IN THE MOST PEACEFUL, GENTLE, CARING, VEGAN-LIKE, NON-VIOLENT MANNER POSSIBLE!

Oh yes. You have been warned, Shitty Cookie Lady.

Anyways, after getting severely pissed off and flopping down on the couch to stare at the television for about 10 minutes in an attempt to assuage my anger, I decided to try baking something else instead.

The problem was this (which is also why I was so pissed off at the Shitty Cookie Recipe):

- Right now I have no car.

- This means I have no means of easily running out to get any ingredients I need but don't have.

- This means I had been trying to whip up something with what I had in my cupboard, WHILE ALSO making sure that I had enough ingredients left over to make cookie-sandwiches I had been planning to make for my birthday.

So: after looking through like 1900 different cookbooks, I finally just found myself coming back to the ever-adaptable chocolate thumbprint cookies in VwaV. I'd adapted them once before with delightful results, so I decided (since I had all the ingredients on hand) that I'd try out a new take on them this time.

I'm a big fan of the chocolate-cinnamon-cayenne combo (see also the Mexican Chocolate Cake recipe I've raved about on prior occasion). I adore it, it enflames my passions, it makes me want to spread it all over my inner thighs and make people lick it off.

So I decided to experiment with some Mexican Chocolate Cookies.

I was pleased with the end result, although next time I think I will make some sort of spicy-chocolate drizzle to toss on top, just to add a bit more oomph. But even without it, these will definitely get you all fevered up and sweaty. *Waggling eyebrows at you*

INGREDIENTS:

Dry:


• 2 c. flour


• 2/3 c. cocoa


• 1/2 t. baking soda


• 1/4 t. salt


• 1/2 t. cinnamon


• Cayenne pepper to taste*


Wet:


• 1 1/3 c. sugar


• 2/3 c. soy milk


• 2/3 c. canola oil


• 2.5 t. vanilla



• 2/3 to 1 c. vegan semi-sweet chocolate chips

*I'd start off with 1/8 t. of cayenne, mix the wet and dry ingredients together (minus the choc chips), and then start adding more cayenne little by little until it's at a comfortable level of spiciness for your tastebuds. Just make sure that you mix the dough up well after each addition, otherwise you'll accidentally end up with a few FREAKING HOT cookies where the cayenne pepper accumulated.


DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven at 350. Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Mix the wet ingredients together in a separate bowl. Add the wet to the dry and mix until fully combined. Add in any added cayenne pepper at this point, until the heat-level has you all hot and bothered. Add the chocolate chips.

On a cookie sheet covered in wax/parchment paper, scoop out heaping tablespoon-sized amounts of dough. Smoosh down a slight bit once you drop them on the pan.

After you've filled the cookie sheet (they expand, so not too close to one another), toss into the oven for 10 minutes or so (until tops have started to crack).

Once you've removed them from the oven, let them cool in the pan for about five minutes, and then transfer to a cooling rack.

Makes about 24-30 cookies or so.