Monday, May 07, 2007

Flaming Tacos

Important bit of cooking wisdom I learned this past week:

Corn tacos are highly flammable.

No shit.

I quickly came to realize this after I tossed a few tacos into my broiler for a minute to melt the cheddar "cheez" on top (seeing as intense heat seems to be the only fricking way to melt that stuff, and the oven just doesn't quite seem to cut it) and when I opened the broiler to remove them, they were engulfed in flames.

Literal flames.

The kind that made me go "Agh!" and then blow on them, for the most part ineffectively.

Good times.

Actually, it all just made me kind of laugh, since I am a world-renowned klutz, and this didn't surprise me all that much. (In the last month I've also a) melted half my toaster, though thankfully it's still usable, and b) dropped a large cup of ketchup from about four-feet in the air in the middle of a children's booksale, yelled SHIT! when it hit the ground, and watched as it exploded all over my pants and the surrounding carpeting.) So yeah, flaming tacos: not so shocking. I only wish I would've not had the immediate instinct to blow them out seeing as it would've made a helluva picture.

Instead, I give you a picture of the results: sadly burnt taco shells.

The cool thing though was that I was able to save my dinner by just breaking off the more burnt parts of the taco shells and using them anyways. They actually ended up being quite good--they tasted a bit smoked or something. Heh heh--imagine that.

Anyways, I don't recommend going out of your way to set the shells on fire (though I suspect some of you deviants will now be like, "What? Taco shells catch fire? Nuh uh! No way! I've got to see this for myself, because I don't believe you"), but if you do, rise above, and turn them into something magical.

  • Three taco shells

  • Cooked quinoa (about 1 c. or so)

  • Canned black beans (about 1 c. or so)

  • 1/4 packet of taco seasoning

  • 1/2 an avocado, diced

  • A handful of thinly-shredded lettuce

  • 1/2 c. vegan cheddar "cheez"

  • Salsa of your choosing


Toss quinoa and black beans in a small pot with the taco seasoning packet and a bit of water (the amount you use will depend on how liquidy-ish you want the end results to be). Cook until heated through and the water has cooked down some. Removed from heat.

Turn on broiler. Place three taco shells in some sort of casserole-dish where they can all stand upright. Fill the shells with your quinoa/black bean mix. Top with "cheez." After broiler has heated up, place tacos in broiler. In a minute or two (or three), open broiler, gasp at the fact that your tacos are on fire, blow them out, and remove from broiler.

Break off the ridiculously burnt parts of your shells. Top the quinoa/black bean/cheez innards with lettuce, avocado, and salsa.


(Makes enough for one hearty serving.)

PS. Do not hold me responsible for catching your house on fire if you are a big enough tool to actually intentionally try this at home.

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