Thursday, February 21, 2008

Addendum to "Chickpea Nuggets," Or "Tales from a Telescopic Anus"

While musing over how very much the chickpea nuggets really DO look like turds, it dawned on me that they were kind of thematically apropos as a meal last night, given that my mom had just gotten a colonscopy, and given that we had the following dinner conversation (which I recreate here, in an abbreviated, but still very poo-laden, form, which I'm sure will yield us many an interesting new google search)--enjoy mdmadph!

MOM: Yeah, I was laying there, and I *swear* they wheeled in a tv and I was sort of watching them make their way up through my insides.

ME: Ew. Really?

MOM: Yeah, but the weird thing was that my insides weren't pink. They were like browns and yellows and stuff. Which made me think maybe I was dreaming.

ME: I don't necessarily THINK that our insides are all pink though, are they? I mean, browns and yellows sound kind of right.

MOM: Yeah. I guess. Do you remember when you were little and you used to have that problem with your butt where you wouldn't go to the bathroom because it hurt so bad?

ME: Yeah. Vaguely.

MOM: It was because you had a telescopic anus! Do you remember that?

ME: A "telescopic anus?!?!"

MOM: Yeah! When you went to go poop, the insides of your butt would telescope out when you pushed, like a little telescopic anus.

ME: WHAT?!?!?!?!

MOM: Yeah. It took lots of castor oil to fix that.

ME: Wait. WHAT?!?!?!?!

[Mom bites into chickpea poo-chunk with no sense of irony]


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