Recipes for Your Face

Please note: I take no responsibility for home-remedies gone wrong--different types of skin can obviously react differently to the very same treatment. Always be sure to do a skin-test before following skin-care home-remedies, that way your face doesn't melt off or mutate into that of a gorilla's or something. (Though the latter one would be kinda cool, now that I think about it.)

What can I say--I'm cheap. I hate spending $15 on something that I smudge onto my face once or twice a day just to degunkify it, and none of it ever seems to help out much anyways. It either dries my skin out or it leaves it looking shiny and greasy. And I break out regardless. So I've been roaming around and researching a little about home skin-care recipes, and I've discovered a few that seem to work so far. AND THEY'RE CHEAP! So I can spend more money on cooking shit to post here! Woot woot. Anywho...

When I feel the need to exfoliate and sluff off that scaly outer-coating of facial skin, I like to just use a bit of vegan sugar mixed with water and rub it gently over my skin. It's rather abrasive, so BE GENTLE WITH IT, but it feels damn good as well. Just pour some into the palm of your hand, wet it a bit (but not too much that it dissolves), and then apply gently in circles to your face. Your face will be bright and invigorated when you're all done.

Garlic is good for acne, as it has astringent properties. Mash up a clove of garlic with a fork, and then apply the mushy paste to any zits you might have. Leave it on for a bit while you {subliminal message} bake me some cookies {/subliminal message}, and then remove with a warm washcloth. Be forewarned, this remedy is stank-ass, but it does seem to dry up pimples and it's supposedly good for clearing up the skin without leaving scars.

Read more:

Benefits of Garlic

Acne Remedies

Also, a combo of 50% apple-cider vinegar and 50% water applied to the skin 1-2 times daily is supposed to be wonderful for your skin. I've been using it, and right after use, my face is baby-fricking-soft and smooth-looking. I just dip a cottonball in a bit of the vinegar and then run some water on it, rub it gently all over my face, and then let it air dry. As mentioned, I have temperamental (as folks in the "skin care industry" call it: combination) skin, and all the daily cleansers I use either dry it the hell out or leave it shiny and greasy. But apparently apple-cider vinegar regulates your skin's pH balance without stripping it of its essential oils--and I can verify that it most certainly hasn't left my skin dried out at all thus far. Again, be forewarned: you will stink like vinegar upon application, but have no fear--once it dries, the scent will go away.

Read more:

Beautiful Skin Tip: Apple Cider Vinegar

Apple Cider Vinegar Cures

Apple Cider Vinegar

Again, I remind you that everyone's skin is different. So if you're, say, a tyrannosaurus rex, an apple-cider vinegar rinse may not do jack shit for that scaly-assed sandpaper you call a "face." Or if you're, say, a moth, it may just make you disintegrate. So be smart and test these out before using them.

(Please don't sue me.)