(for the lovely Beverlee who told me I'm a lot less scary in real life--and then I bit her ear off to prove her wrong)
Ladies & gents: If your orgasm could have an orgasm, this is what it would look like:
My new love (and the reason I will probably gain about 30 lbs. in the next week):
A warm vegan waffle topped with Mocha Fudge-Swirl soy ice cream, drizzled in Hershey's chocolate syrup.
So good it should be illegal. (And if it WERE illegal, I would be a total waffle-ice cream bootlegger, HAVE NO DOUBT. I'd be the dude on the right. With a bad-ass bootleg scar on my face from taking on the pigs when they came to raid my waffles.)
(Have a safe move to Cali, Ms. B! It was a pleasure meeting you!)