Freckles & Fruit Salad

I got to go see The Black Keys play a benefit this past weekend. For free. (Thanks again, SS!!) And I got to hang out backstage as well. For free. And I didn't make an ass out of myself. Though I did kind of want to blurt to Dan (the lead singer) when I met him: AWWW FRECKLES!!! But I controlled myself. (He's really redheaded and really freckly.)



Drank and smoked the night away. (Healthy, yes!) And then the next morning a boy made me this for breakfast:



How kick-ass is THAT, dudes? Fruit salad and walnuts drizzled in a sweet cinnamony dressing, hearty grain toast with apple butter, and toasty sausage. I haven't enjoyed breakfast that much in a long while.

Let's just say, if the aforementioned boy suddenly up and vanishes, he most DEFINITELY is not tied up in my closet and being held hostage as my breakfast man-servant. Not. At. All.

Oh, and did I mention that the same boy made us peppered tofurkey, pickle, and mustard sandwiches on the same hearty grain bread the night before?

*COUfutureman-servantGH*

THAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSGIIIIIIIIIIIIVIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Cooked again for Thanksgiving (I swear November is a vegan food-blogger's wet dream) and had to pause to shout at you the following:

OH MY GOD GO MAKE BRYANNA CLARK'S VEGAN SEITAN "TURKEY" ASAP I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S NO LONGER THANKSGIVING AND YOU HAVE NO REAL EXCUSE!! ON A DISTANT PLANET SOMEWHERE IT'S LIKELY TO BE THANKSGIVING SO JUST RUN WITH THAT!! DO IT! NOW!


(Click on pic for larger version with stuff labeled)

Seriously, I was intimidated at first by the length of the cooking directions (which actually are short but look overwhelming because she supplies you with several variations), but it was surprisingly easy to put together. Granted, it cooks for about four hours, but GOOD LORD PEEPS! How often do you get to lavish in the delightful thanksgiving smell of roasting for four hours now that you no longer cook turkey? You'll love it, trust me. And if you have a breadmaker, this is as simple as dumping the ingredients in and pressing a button.

Tofurkey-haters take heed in particular: this is by FAR tastier than the tofurkey many of us turn to as a quick turkey-substitute around the holidays.

True story: My brother SPECIFICALLY ASKED that I give him leftovers of the faux-turkey for him to take home. (This, the boy who bitches every year about how crappy tofurkey tastes.) He also raved about making the leftovers into a sandwich.

My sister and mom (despite me telling them I made it myself—they sometimes don't listen well) days after Thanksgiving did a doubletake when they realized that I HAD indeed made it myself and both said they didn't realize it because it tasted so good.

So yeah.

AND it makes TWO loaves. So I'm STILL working through leftovers.

What else: If you make it, $100 billion dollars will spontaneously fall into your lap, it's THAT good. (Okay, THAT part's a lie, but the rest: TRUE AS MOTHERF-ING HELL.)

I'm also including the gravy recipe I used for both Thanksgiving and my vegan potluck as it tastes WONDERFUL with this faux turkey recipe.

And now: a pic of my fam at Thanksgiving in which it looks like my Mom and brother are praying but really they are both genetically deficient and chromosomally alike enough that they both accidentally closed their eyes for the pic.




My table-setting:



And now the recipes:

(I've chosen to include ONLY the directions that I used in making my faux-turkey, so if you'd like to see the variations, go check out the original which is linked at the end. Also: I recommend cooking it the night before and then just throwing it back in the oven with a tiny bit of water and, say, your stuffing or some other delightful numbly that you have to cook for 45 mins or so to reheat.)


BRYANNA'S SEITAN "TURKEY"

INGREDIENTS:

DRY MIX:


• 2 c. pure gluten powder (instant gluten flour; vital wheat gluten)


• 1/2 c. full-fat soy flour or chickpea flour


• 1/2 c. nutritional yeast flakes


• 2 t. onion powder


• 1 t. garlic granules


• 1/4 t. white pepper


WET MIX:


• 12 oz. firm regular (NOT silken) tofu


• 1 & 1/2 c. water


• 3 T. soy sauce


• 1 T. olive oil


BASTING BROTH:


• 2 c. hot water


• 1/3 c. "chicken-style" vegetarian broth powder (I used 2 "chicken" bouillon cubes)


• 2 T. olive oil


• OPTIONAL: 4 cloves garlic, crushed


• 1/2-1 tsp. poultry herbs (sage, thyme, rosemary), crushed well

DIRECTIONS

Wet Mix: In a blender, blend all the ingredients until very smooth.

Dry Mix: Place ingredients in the bowl of your electric mixer with dough hook attachment, or place them in the bread machine in the order given. Add the Wet Mix and knead for about 10 minutes. (If your bread machine has a dough cycle-two kneads with a long rest in between-use that cycle. Otherwise, just run it through the kneading part and then unplug it and let it rest in the cover container, then plug it in again for another knead, then remove it.) Let rest for about 1 hour, covered. You can make your Cooking Broth at this time and have it ready. Then knead it for 10 more minutes.

(NOTE: You can knead by hand, too, but it's tougher than bread dough. You may want to let the seitan dough sit for a while to soak up the liquid more thoroughly before you starting hand-kneading.)

COOKING METHOD #2.) Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Flatten the dough out into a long piece and cut in half equally to make two rectangles. Form into 2 loaves. Place each loaf in an oiled 8 and1/2" x 4 and 1/2" loaf pan and press down a bit with your hand. Mix the Cooking Broth ingredients in a small bowl and pour 1/2 over each loaf. Cover each loaf pan with foil and place in the oven. Immediately reduce the oven heat to 200 degrees F. Bake for 3 hours. Turn the loaves over, carefully loosening around the edges and from the bottom with a small, thin spatula first. The loaves will have puffed up quite a bit by now, but they will flatten out as they cook further. Turn heat back to 325 degrees F. Cover loaves and bake for 30 minutes. Turn them over again, cover and bake 15 minutes. Turn them over again and bake 15 more minutes, covered. Turn them over one last time and bake 5-10 minutes.

(Recipe from Bryanna's Vegan Feast)

GOLDEN GRAVY

Ingredients:

• 1/2 c. nutritional yeast


• 1/2 c. whole wheat flour


• 1/3 c. canola oil


• 1/2 c. chopped onion


• 2 t. minced garlic


• 2 t. chopped fresh thyme, or 1 t. dried


• 2 t. chopped fresh sage, or 1 t. rubbed dried (or I used 3/4 t. powdered sage)


• 4 c. water


• 1/4 c. tamari


• salt to taste


• ground black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

Stir yeast and flour in heavy skillet over medium heat for five min or until fragrant.

Heat oil in large heavy saucepan over medium heat. Add onion, saute for 10 mins, or until it begins to brown. Add garlic, thyme, sage, and saute for 30 secs, or until fragrant. Whisk in flour mixture thoroughly, then whisk in water, tamari, salt, and pepper. Bring to a simmer, whisking frequently, and continue until reaches desired thickness. Strain into a bowl to serve.

(Recipe snagged from Vegan Favorites where it was reposted from Real Food Daily)

Lurve to Lurve You

There's been lots o' love-cookery going on as of late among me and the folks I spend time with. Lots.

So today I share, just to make you a little bit envious if the people in your life suck and don't ever really spread the vegan love.

P made me and her roommate these lentil burritos drizzled in cilantro-sour cream the other week. They were delish, even though they look a bit baby-vomitesque in my pic below:



This amorphous blob (jk, SS) was a spicy steamy casserole that SS made for me and P when we came out to visit. It featured artichokes and Italian sausage and was invented by SS himself and--despite the blurry camera-phone pic (I'd forgotten my camera)--it was really really good:




I made this vanilla cake with chocolate ganache frosting for Tudor Rosy for her birthday party. I was not all that fond (the cake recipe called for WAY too much almond extract), but other folks seemed to like it well enough. Alas, I failed to take pics of the party-nibbles that Tudor Rosy herself made, the majority of which were vegan (seriously: how sweet is THAT, to make sure your ONE vegan friend can eat the foods at your OWN stinking party? Lurve ya, TR!):



And then finally, this was our little vegan Thanksgiving potluck extravaganza. We had one hell of an amazing spread. Everyone brought a dish of some sort of vegan food, and we seriously GORGED THE SHIT out of everything.



The menu was as follows:

ENTREES:

• Pumpkin ziti w/sage breadcrumbs


• Halushki

SIDES:

• Dueling stuffings (one was a sausage-apple one, the other a wild rice-cranberry)


• Sweet potatoes


• Biscuits and gravy


• Baked beans

DRINKS:

• Warm apple cider, with or without whisky

DESSERTS:

• Magic choc-pb rice krispy treats (they magicked some folks straight into the next day--hee)


• Chocolate bread-pudding with rum sauce

The night ended with folks in a food-induced (or, um ahem, magic rice krispy-treat-induced) stupor, playing cards and then scrabble. It was very old-school family holiday-ish and a lot of fun.


So darling dearest friends, oh loves of mine, in this week of thanks, you all are at the top of my list. I appreciate so much the fact that you embrace and support my veganism so completely. It means a lot to me, so thank you all for kicking ass so seriously.

XXOO

Lilly Handmade Chocolates: How Sweet It is

So I won a couple gift certificates for Halloween (I won Most Gruesome Costume for my Carrie costume), and one was for Lilly Handmade Chocolates in my neighborhood. So you can only imagine my IMMENSE glee when I found that they actually sell some vegan chocolates.

The shoppe itself is super cute, bedecked with rows of beer and wine and other alcoholic sundries. And in the back are the chocolates, the sweet divine chocolates. You pick them out ($11 for 6 pieces is what I redeemed my gift certificate on), and Lilly herself boxes them up for you, with a cheerful smile and pink hair ablaze.



I got two of each of the following chocolates (pictured from left to right):



After Midnight--"Bitter chocolate stout mixed with intense dark chocolate for a crazy rich fan favorite!"

The Redhead--"She stands out in a crowd and loves the attention! Intense dark chocolate truffle that is filled with a blueberry vintage port ganache."

In the Pink--This one's not listed out on the website, but it was our favorite of the three and I think it was cranberries in a berry drink of some sort.

We nibbled on them out on my roof on an unseasonably warm night and lavished in their rich flavors. They were rich enough that I was only able to eat two of them in one sitting.

The Chomp Monster was much the same:



Since I had $4 still left after the 6 chocolates, I also got this chocolate bar to round the gift certificate up. The Chomp Monster is "a fan favorite! Dark chocolate with Black Mission Figs, Roasted English Walnuts & just a touch of Sea Salt" and it actually was my favorite of them all as well. The mix of the figs and the salty bite of sea salt mingling with the crunchy sweetness of the walnuts was AMAZING. And even though the bar was $5, it took me a few days to eat it all, it's that rich.

So: my point. If you're in Tremont, swing by Lilly Handmade Chocolates and hug her the hell up for being vegan-friendly. And then DEFINITELY pick up the Chomp Monster. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Spinach & Artichoke Pasta

So the original recipe for this came from The Vegan Cook's Bible (which actually is a really cool cookbook if you haven't yet perused it).

The recipe itself is super easy-peasy, easily adaptable (get inventive and throw in some more seasonings or, as I did, add some shroomies), and it actually tastes like a lot more work was put into it than is actually the case.

And it's one of those recipes where you can really just wing the quantities and go entirely by taste.

It also is REALLY REALLY good, *AND* you could easily adapt it into a spinach-artichoke dip by leaving out the liquid from the artichokes and also leaving out the shrooms.

So: make it.

INGREDIENTS:

• Frozen spinach (about 2 cups if you wanna be anal)


• 6-oz. jar of marinated artichokes


• Vegan sour cream (1 to 2 cups, depending)


• Penne pasta


• 2-4 cloves garlic, minced


• White mushrooms, quartered (I used about 2/3 of a large container)


• Olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Cook penne pasta according to package directions, drain, and set aside.

Reserve the liquid from your artichokes and dice the artichokes up finely.

Heat oil in a pan on low. Add garlic and cook a minute or two until fragrant.

Add mushrooms and cook for a few minutes until they start putting off moisture.

Add spinach, artichokes, and reserved liquid.

Let simmer for maybe 10 minutes or so, however long it takes for the frozen spinach to cook through.

Add vegan sour cream and stir until mixed. Simmer on low until sauce is heated through.

Season with fresh pepper and salt to taste.

Serve over hearty portions of pasta.

(The sauce goes a long way, so you can get at least 6 servings out of it and possibly up to 10)

Things I Ate Recently That You Did Not, Unless You are an Enzyme in My Stomach Which is Likely No

Vegan brunch to benefit Books 2 Prisoners. These buckwheat pancakes were the effing bomb, esp. drizzled in strawberry sauce; also featured: muffin, tofu scramble, biscuit & gravy:




Casa Nueva's autumnal burrito. Holy hell!! Got this when SS & I roadtripped down to Athens one Sunday to catch the tail-end of fall colors. Was phenomenal. Packed with tofu, black beans, leeks, local apples, and more, and topped with apple salsa. Seriously orgasmic:




QBL's cabbage & noodles. This shit is SO simple and yet SO GOOD. This is the second time she's brought some in for me (thanks, QBL--batting eyelashes), and I'm not sure which I like more: the taste, or the fact that it totally stinks up the office like B.O.:




And last but DEFINITELY not least:

Melt Bar & Grilled's Mom's (Vegan) Meatloaf Melt: Homemade Vegan Meatloaf, Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, & Spicy Chipotle Ketchup, packed between two pieces of thick-ass bread. This was their Oct. sandwich special, and I seriously have been crying for about 7 days over the fact that I won't be able to taste this again 'til next year. Then again, their sandwich THIS month is a (vegan) turkey sandwich with Mom's Homemade Sage Stuffing, Roasted Butternut Squash, Sweet Cranberry Dipping Sauce, and vegan cheese, so maybe I should stop blubbering:

Let's Talk About Gas

Let's talk about gas, baby.
Let's talk about you and me.
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be.
Let's talk about gas.
Let's talk about gas!



That, my friends, is my ode to lunches this week.

I've chowed on something bean-related EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

First it was E's chili (recipe to follow). And then it was the mexican pizza I posted yesterday.

Which has left my afternoons full of churning stomach rumbles.

LET'S TALK ABOUT GAS!

Nonetheless, E's chili is a good one (and holy crap simple). And he gave me permission to post it (thanks, E!), so I shall.

The key, and I cannot emphasize this enough, is the rosemary.

It does something magical. So don't make it without. You hear me? I will HUNT YOU DOWN AND BREAK YOUR KNEES if you do.

Just saying.


E'S SPECIAL CHILI



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 bag veggie crumbles (Boca; Morningstar stupid deveganized theirs, the bastards)


• 2 sm. cans red kidney beans


• 2 sm. cans chopped tomatoes with mild chili peppers


• 1 jalapeno pepper


• 1/2 medium yellow onion


• Couple of dashes of crushed rosemary


• 1 T. olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Chop the jalapeno and onion into tiny dice.

In a large pan or pot, heat your oil on low and add the onion and jalapeno. Cook until onion is translucent.

Add rosemary and cook for about 30 seconds more, until rosemary is fragrant.

Add the remaining ingredients.

Heat to simmer.

Simmer for 20 minutes.

Pizza Dough of Lurve

You know how we all sort of hope in our hearts that that certain someone will come along that will make us think, You complete me. Well, this pizza crust is that certain someone.

1. No kneading. And if you've been reading this blog for more than 5 minutes, you already know how much I LOVE kneading. Cliff's note version: Kneading, you do NOT complete me.



2. It takes a total of about 15 minutes to have this crust ready to pop in the oven. And as someone who typically comes home from work hungry enough to start devouring couches and small babies, this is important (especially to couches and small babies).



3. It's really really good. Granted, the first time I made it, it BLEW MY EFFING MIND with how fluffy and delish it was, and it hasn't quite managed to live up to that state of orgiastic amazingness since. But even so: I've made it four times already. And every time I've enjoyed it. (I think the key to getting it fluffy may be -1- getting the water temperature correct, and -2- adding extra flour (the first time I added quite a bit more flour just because the dough was so tacky, and that's when it came out the best). I think I just parenthesized excessively, so let's toss in one extra end-parenthesis to make sure we close them all out.)



4. After we made sweet love it -1- didn't fall asleep immediately, and -2- didn't go turn on the tv. It actually SNUGGLED. (Sike!)

As for variations on toppings: my standard go-to toppings are either pizza sauce or pesto sauce plus chopped kalamata olives and lightly-cooked sliced mushrooms and green peppers:





I also experimented with a mexican pizza (based on THIS Everybody Likes Sandwiches recipe as well), and for that, I first cooked the pizza for 10 minutes and then topped it with 1 small can of refried beans and some of the cheezy sauce from Veganomicon (which I actually think I could've just as easily left out since it didn't do much for it), popped it back in the oven for 15 more minutes, removed, and added salsa, sliced olives, and chipotle sour cream. This was AWESOME as well, and surprisingly filling (normally I eat half a pizza, but I could only eat three slices):





So yeah: TRY IT OUT I DARE YOU. Just don't get your current significant others pissed off at me when you DO fall deeply in love.



The Easiest Pizza Dough in the World

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 packet of yeast


• 1 c. warm water


• 2-1/2 c. flour


• 1 t. agave nectar (or 2 t. sugar; I recommend the agave though cuz MAN does it make the crust taste lovely)


• 1 t. salt


• 2 T. olive oil


• 2 T. fresh rosemary, chopped (optional)


• cornmeal

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 400. In a large bowl, add in the yeast and warm water and stir until the yeast dissolves. Add the flour, salt, agave (or sugar), rosemary (if using), and olive oil and stir with a wooden spoon vigorously until combined. Let dough rest for 10 minutes.

Either sprinkle cornmeal onto a walled baking sheet and press dough into it until thin
-OR-
Sprinkle flour on your counter and roll out the pizza dough. Sprinkle cornmeal on a pizza stone and toss the dough on top. Spread olive oil over top (optional), and add all your toppings.

Bake for 20-25 minutes until pizza crust is golden and toppings are heated through.

(from Everybody Likes Sandwiches)

BeverleeWhatWhat!!!!

(for the lovely Beverlee who told me I'm a lot less scary in real life--and then I bit her ear off to prove her wrong)

Ladies & gents: If your orgasm could have an orgasm, this is what it would look like:



My new love (and the reason I will probably gain about 30 lbs. in the next week):

A warm vegan waffle topped with Mocha Fudge-Swirl soy ice cream, drizzled in Hershey's chocolate syrup.

So good it should be illegal. (And if it WERE illegal, I would be a total waffle-ice cream bootlegger, HAVE NO DOUBT. I'd be the dude on the right. With a bad-ass bootleg scar on my face from taking on the pigs when they came to raid my waffles.)



(Have a safe move to Cali, Ms. B! It was a pleasure meeting you!)

*PEW PEW* !!! ELECTRIC LEMONADE !!! *PEW PEW*

This past weekend we had a garage sale party:



The second customer of the day came SPECIFICALLY for the nipple clamps. It was a great moment in garage sale history.

And at said garage sale party, I served Electric Lemonade, from the newest issue of Bust Magazine.

And it was a HIT.

Some said they liked it better than mojitos.

Some said they liked it better than sex.

Some said they liked it better than mojitos + sex with your mom + $1000.

None of the people who said this were me, mostly because I was too busy drinking them to say anything really.

I didn't take a picture, so the following picture is a simulation of Electric Lemonade:



Please note: Your Electric Lemonade will not shoot neon blue bolts of electricity as featured in the picture above. And the neon blue bolts of lightning that it DOESN'T shoot won't make a shooting noise that sounds like PEW! PEW! (Though if you drink enough of these, it might start to look and sound like it's doing both these things.)

Here's the off-the-top-of-my-head recipe. Obviously you can tweak measurements to taste.

INGREDIENTS:

• Vodka


• Lemonade (homemade or storebought--whatevs)


• Ginger ale


• Fresh mint


• Limes


• Ice

DIRECTIONS

Throw ice in a glass. Fill the glass about 1/3 full with vodka. Fill the remaining 2/3 with lemonade (but leave about an inch of room at the top for ginger ale). Top off with your ginger ale. Toss in a few sprigs of mint and some slices of lime. Swirl. And: PEW PEW PEW!

Like Jumping Out of the Closet at 3am WITH Choco-Blueberry Muffins

Even though some of you may think it sucks that I've stopped posting regularly (I'm having a bout of lazy, what can I say?), you should actually be excited. 'Cause now when I post, it'll be a surprise, kind of like when your kid brother jumps out of the closet at you at like 3 in the morning when you're groggily going to take a leak and you about have a fucking heart attack. Except better.

So there.

Anyways, since I last posted, I've made quite a few more recipes from Vegan Brunch and concluded that Vegan Brunch is hands down my favorite Isa cookbook. I love Veganomicon and Vegan with a Vengeance too, of course. All three are the cookbooks I use most regularly. But Vegan Brunch: Jesus. It's blowing my fucking MIND with the quality of the recipes. AND the ease. I think that's what I've been digging too. All the ones I've made so far have been SO EASY but taste mind-blowing despite that: particularly the broccoli quiche (stay tuned) and the omelets.

The only thing I've made that I really really didn't like thus far (and I think it might be partially that my oregano was so oregano-y and potent and crunchy) was the Scrambled Tortillas, which I was really surprised about 'cause I thought for SURE I'd love them. But *looking around to make sure no one else is listening* I actually ended up throwing these away. (I know I know--I don't like to waste food at all, but something was so gross about them that I couldn't eat them; truly though, I suspect my oregano):

On the yummy front though, I tried out the coffee chip muffins, but with changes that made them not coffee at all. (I cheated. I wanted to make blueberry chocolate chip muffins for ye lil' intern of mine, so I decided to tweak them to that instead, and they came out really well actually). I've posted a link to a copy of the original recipe that someone posted, but the one below is my tweaked version (with changes from the original asterisked).

I *do* plan to try out the original at some point as well, if I ever have instant coffee on me (which means never--who drinks instant coffee?!?! Blorf).

Choco-Blueberry Chip Muffins



INGREDIENTS:

• 1 c. almond milk (or your favorite nondairy milk)


• 1 T. cocoa powder*


• 1 t. apple cider vinegar


• 2 c. all-purpose flour


• 1/2 c. sugar


• 1 T. baking powder


• 1/2 t. salt


• 1/2 c. canola oil


• 1 t. pure vanilla extract


• 1/2 c. chocolate chips


• 3/4 to 1 c. frozen blueberries*

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 375-F. Lightly grease a muffin tin.

In a large measuring cup, measure out 1/2 cup of milk. Stir in the cocoa and mix to dissolve. Stir in the rest of the milk and the vinegar and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Make a well in the center and add the milk mixture, oil, and vanilla. Mix together until the batter is just moistened, being careful not to overmix. Fold in the chocolate chips and blueberries.

Use an ice cream scoop to drop the batter into the muffin tin, filling it about three-quarters full. Bake for 22-26 minutes, until a knife or toothpick inserted through the center of a muffin comes out clean. Let cool a but until you can remove the muffins and transfer them to cooling racks to cool the rest of the way.

(Original coffee chip muffin recipe posted at When in Doubt... Leave it at 350, from Vegan Brunch)

The Time for Vegan Omelettes is NIGH! *jamming out on omelettey air guitar*

Let us flash back for a moment to reminisce about my vegan omelette-making attempts from about a year ago, otherwise known as The Omelette of Ugly Fat Stupidness.

If you'll remember: not once, but TWICE, I attempted to make a vegan omelette with HORRIBLY DISASTROUS RESULTS.

This disaster:



The same disaster, close-up:



Another disaster, unrelated:



(Oh, I kid, JSimps! I love ya!)


Anyways. The problem: Nothing congealed.

So I went into my third attempt, this time using the VEGAN BRUNCH omelet recipe, with some SERIOUS trepidation.

And holy-crap-with-an-8-foot-woody!

Magic:

                          from Vegan Brunch


And not only was it pretty (we all know how that goes: looks pretty on the outside, is an evil, conniving, nasty bitch on the inside) but IT TASTED SO MOTHERF-ING GOOD I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU.

Seriously.

Omelets were always one of my comfort foods. And not only did this vegan omelet fool me into the old arms of omelet-comfort, it also tasted damn good EVEN WITHOUT CHEESE.

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 garlic cloves


• 1 lb. silken tofu, lightly drained (not the vacuum-packed kind) or soft tofu; Nasoya brand is recommended


• 2 T. nutritional yeast


• 2 T. olive oil


• 1/2 t. turmeric


• 1 t. fine black salt, plus extra for sprinkling (optional)


• 1/2 c. chickpea flour


• 1 T. arrowroot or cornstarch

DIRECTIONS

Chop up the garlic, if using, in a food processor (I used a blender). Add the tofu, nutritional yeast, olive oil, turmeric, and salt. Puree until smooth. Add the chickpea flour and arrowroot and puree again for about 10 seconds, until combined. Make sure to scrape down the sides so that everything is well incorporated.

NOTE: The original recipe also has a note in case you use soft tofu (which I did), and it's essentially that you will need to add/adjust water to your mix. Start off with 1/4 cup and test it out by heating up a skillet and cooking up 1-2 T. of it according to the directions below. If it spreads and congeals as it cooks, you can move on to the big versions. If it doesn't spread at all but just sort of sits there and doesn't congeal, then add up to 1/4 cup more water. I think I used nearly 1/2 cup in total to my soft tofu.

OTHER NOTE THAT'S NOT THE NOTE THAT I NOTED IN THE ABOVE NOTE: I forgot what it was dammit. Will add if I think of it. =P Aha! Remembered! I don't know why most tofu recipes call for a stupid pound of tofu since they only ever seem to come in 14 oz or 15 oz packages, but worry not: I used a 14 oz package and kept all other measurements the same, and it still came out delish.

Preheat a large, heavy-bottomed, nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Lightly grease the pan with cooking spray. (The less oil the better for the nice brown speckles we're going for.) ALso, make sure that you use a large skillet, as you need room to spread out the omelet and to get your spatula under there to flip.

In 1/2 cup increments, pour the omelet batter into the skillet. Use the back of a spoon or a rubber spatula to spread the batter out into about 6-inch circles.

Let the batter cook for about 3 to 5 minutes before flipping. The top of the omelet should dry and become a matte yellow when it's ready to be flipped. If you try and it seems like it might fall apart, give it a little more time. The underside should be flecked light to dark brown. Flip the omelet and cook for about a minute on the other side. Keep warm on a plate covered with tinfoil as you make the remaining omelets.

Fill omelet with the filling of your choice, then fold it. Once the omelet has been filled, sprinkle with a little extra black salt, since some of its flavor disappears when cooked.

Makes 4 omelettes.

(Recipe originally from Vegan Brunch, posted at Jaclyn's Vegan Yumminess)

Bringing Vegan Brunch to You, My Bitches

Oh look at me! Blogging! Try not to wet yourself with delight!

So yes: VEGAN BRUNCH. I gots it.

If you don't, you should.

I must admit, every time Isa has a cookbook come out, I'm all: don't jump on the f-ing crazy-ass bandwagon, dude. But inevitably I end up buying it. ('Cause her cookbooks are my most used cookbooks, dammit. Not cuz it's hipster-cool!)

And here's what I've made so far. Alas: You'll have to purchase the book to get the first two recipes as they don't appear to be on-line yet. INCENTIVE.

1. Potato Spinach Squares: Super easy. And they make for a nice picnic side since they're yummiest at room temp.





2. Pesto Scrambled Tofu with Grape Tomatoes: My friend P and I cooked this on the weekend (along with the yumtastic cream cheezy mashed potatoes she concocted). And this has actually been my favorite so far, which is surprising 'cause I was supremely skeptical. I was all, "How can this be all that tasty when it's essentially just tofu and tomatoes doused in pesto??" But trust me: it is. I suggest tossing in some diced up kalamatas as well, for some extra oomph. You won't regret it.






3. Puttanesca Scramble: This one I was actually kind of meh on. Not that it was bad. But it didn't make my toes curl. Be that as it may, it IS one of the recipes that was actually posted on the PPK, so that must mean SOMETHING (namely that I probably just suck and have no taste in food).

Next in the queue: The elusive vegan omelet. After two failed tries at other vegan omelet recipes, I am DETERMINED to master this, goddammit. STAY TUNED!



PUTTANESCA SCRAMBLE

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. olive oil


• 6 - 8 cloves garlic thinly sliced


• 1/2 t. crushed red pepper flakes


• 1 lb. extra firm tofu, diced


• 4 roma tomatoes, diced


• 2 T. fresh thyme


• 2 T. fresh oregano


• 1/2 c. mixed olives, roughly chopped


• 1 T. capers


• 1/4 t. salt, or to taste

DIRECTIONS

Preheat a large heavy bottomed pan over medium heat. Saute the garlic in the olive oil until lightly browned, but be careful not to burn. 3 minutes ought to do it. Add the red pepper flakes and the tofu and saute for about 10 minutes, until tofu is browned. Add a little extra oil if necessary.

Mix in tomatoes, thyme, oregano and oregano and cook for about 5 minute, until tomatoes are a bit broken down but still whole. Add olives, capers and salt to taste. Cook just until heated through.

(Recipe from VEGAN BRUNCH, posted on the ppk)

I Suck

Yes, I haven't posted in a long while.

And rather than make excuses, I will just reassert that--ultimately--I've been enjoying just eating whatever. Repeats. Stuff scrounged together in five minutes. Half-assed recipes. None of which bears posting on this blog.

However, I *DID* get Vegan Brunch in the mail just the other day, and I've already made one of the recipes and plan on tackling some more this weekend, so *fingers crossed* you should hopefully be seeing some more postings.

Until then, I come to you today with my new fav food product. I don't think I've rambled on about it before, but if I have, just consider this newest ramble even MORE indication that you should go out and buy it.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter with Roasted Flaxseeds:



Holy shit so good. Seriously. I'm gonna have to start stocking up on it in bulk like I do my TJ's chocolate chips, that way I'm not driving 30 minutes every week just to get my hands on it.

You: Go get it. Put it on things. Eat it. Love it. I command it to be so.

Dig It.

Posted @ the home of my visual soulmate:
Left Hand Cuts the Right

Twit, Tweet, Twiddle

I've started twittering, and since I suck at posting here lately, I'll try to at least start twittering any vegan food-munchies I'm chowing down on, in case you're curious. I'll tag 'em #vegan if you decide to follow.

I also popped a twitter widget in my side-bar (growr--that sounds all SORTS of naughty). But do know that if you become a follower, my twittering's not vegan-food-exclusive, so you'll have to contend with the massive quantity of randomnesses my brain is capable of spewing.

And it is BOUNTIFUL.

BE FOREWARNED.

I will post again soon. Promise.

Love you like a mofo.

Yes, I'm Lazy, But I'm Also Awesome and Have a Fairly Decent Rack, So Suck It

See, what starts happening is that I bust out ye ol' laziness, don't post regularly, food p0rn accumulates (stuffed under the mattress so your mom won't find it), and then I can't remember what the recipe was for the pic, and if it was at all good or not, or if it made me throw up chunky sparkles and rainbows for three days.

Like this cream of broccoli soup: I just looked through about 5 broccoli soup recipes I bookmarked, and I *think* this is the one I used, though I can't be certain.

Rainy Day Cream of Broccoli Soup



Vagueries: This one I *do* remember liking. I remember thinking that it reminded me of college, where I used to buy broccoli cheese soup and then plain noodles from the pasta bar and then dump the broccoli soup over the pasta and have broccoli-cheese pasta. *Sigh* The good ol' days.


This one I had to stare at for a little while to figure out wtf it was. And as senility momentarily slipped away, I realized that I think it was this Beer Pie (fuck Guinness), which I made one day with a bunch of substitutions.


"Fuck Guinness, I'll Use VEGAN Beer" Pie



Vagueries: I do remember that I was excited to find out that Pepperidge Farm (I think) puff pastries were vegan, so I decided to try using those on top instead of the crust recipe. I also didn't use the seitan log recipe--I think maybe I subbed in the packaged shit? Which probably ultimately explains why I *do* remember thinking that this recipe made WAY too little food, and that I could've probably eaten the whole thing in one sitting if I wouldn't have been disgusted with myself for doing so. It LOOKED pretty though.


Here, I tried to make my own Southern Fried Vegetarian "Chicken," and upon doing so, I realized my friend P has a special knack with it 'cause mine didn't come out NEARLY as good as hers did when she made it. Mine: Kind of doughy, and super-greasy. Actually, this whole meal sucked, that I do remember. In the back there are the lemony roasted potatoes from Veganomicon which I actually really like but this time came out inexplicably gross. So the long and short is: if I want Southern Fried "Chicken" again at some point, I'm batting my eyelashes gratuitously at Ms. P and maybe flashing a little nip.


Southern Fried Vegetarian "Chicken"



This one I think was Chipotle Split-Pea soup, and honestly, I feel like I was surprised at liking it for some reason, but that I did. But if my life was at stake in saying that, I must admit, I can't be positive.


Chipotle Split-Pea Soup



This, on the other hand, I *DO* remember, as it was THE most beautiful cupcake I've ever seen. I wish the camera had captured how vivacious the red was on this cupcake--I literally kept pausing while eating it just to stare at how lovely the color was--but it didn't. Nonetheless, I got it at Nature's Bin and haven't seen them there since. Obviously, it's a red velvet cupcake, and just thinking about it has got me all teary-eyed. Please excuse me. *sob*





This I think was the eggplant something-something from Vegan Planet. I remember thinking, Oh yay, a vegan eggplant parmigiana recipe!! when I decided to make it, and then suddenly realizing, Hey, wait a minute! The recipe doesn't even bread the eggplant!!! What the hell was I thinking! But now I'm not even 100% certain that's where it came from. I remember I was underwhelmed by the recipe though, but I *did* like the gomashio recipe that accompanied it. (Which is why I feel like it probably WAS from Vegan Planet since every time I make something out of that cookbook, I find myself extremely underwhelmed. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel this way too??)

From Vegan Planet, I think



And finally--at least for the time being--I made this fettucine dish.


Fettucine with Sausage, Basil, and Sundried Tomatoes



Vagueries: I left the fennel out of this since I knew the "sausages" I bought were plenty spicy/fennely, and I can only take so much of the stuff without feeling like I'm sucking on a big pasta-y rope of black licorice. Other than that though, I remember liking the recipe. Perhaps not being blown away by it, but I definitely think it was decent.



And that catches me up through mid-April! *Stuffing my food p0rn back under the mattress for now*

Stay tuned for more lazy catch-up!