Monday, February 09, 2009

Cat Bed from the Days of Yore

Over the weekend, I bought my cats THE single most HIDEOUS cat-item I've ever seen in my WHOLE life: a nauseatingly pink cat bed.

It is so hideous that it is awesome:

(Click to read descriptions)

Particularly because it was $3. Which explains the hideousness. And also explains why I purchased it despite this fact.

Let us take a look at its hideousness. Join me, won't you?

  1. It is pink. Like really REALLY pink. Because apparently cats think of themselves in very strict and inflexible gender categories.

  2. There are inexplicable pictures of "days of yore" on it. I say "days of yore" in quotes because I'm not quite sure WHAT time period they're supposed to be representing or why. But we'll generalize it to "the days of yore" aka "the times of Huckleberry Finn." Apparently the print was added just in case your cats want to wax nostalgic about "the days of yore" back when they used to smoke their corn cob pipes and flash their bloomers at hooligans in their one-room schoolhouse.

  3. It is inexplicably trimmed in leopard print. Because, apparently in the days of yore, when one was busy rowing one's riverboat down the Mississippi, it was necessary to always keep one eye open for leopards lurking in the cattails:

  4. It possesses world's most hideous giant bow:

  5. It comes with a tiny pillow that is about the size of a cat's head. Which makes me think that the manufacturers actually thought that a cat might actually have a use for this or be like, "My god--FINALLY someone realizes that, just like humans, we like to use a pillow! I mean, maybe it doesn't seem like it since we'll sleep in the bathtub. Or on top of the cookbook you're using. Or in the gutter. Or on top of several pens and the spine of your spiral notebook. But that's only because we've been without a cat pillow for all these years. Really we're all ABOUT creature comfort, bitches! So it's about f-ing time!"

  6. It is all these things IN ONE PRODUCT. And that is the greatest part of all.

The funny thing is, it's probably the best $3 that I've spent, because they LOVE the damn thing. Love it. As in, one will use it and the other will sit next to it, staring longingly at the one who's using it.

When my mom came over on Saturday, she asked if they ever use it together. And I was like, No, there's no way the two of them can fit in it together.

A couple hours later, I walk out in the kitchen to catch this sight:

So yes: it would be an understatement to say that they're in love.

I guess there's no accounting for taste when it comes to cats.

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