The Day the Grocery-Store Clerk Didn't Get Laid, or "A Tale of a Misguided Conversation, and Also Vincent Price Quesadillas"

Last weekend, I was at the grocery store, getting my groceries rung out. And of course I had a handful of garlic-stuffed olives in my basket (since they are my newest fetish, for those of you who haven't been keeping up). Anyways, the grocery-store clerk ringing me out was a skittish young boy who spent the time trying to flirtatiously chat me up, until he said the following words:

CLERK: Just 5 olives?

ME: Pardon?

CLERK: You're only getting 5 olives?

ME: Yep.

CLERK: Did you know that just ONE olive has all of your salt for the day?

ME: What?

CLERK: Olives. Just one of them provides 100% of your salt for the day.

*A slow tear rolls its way dramatically down my cheek as my love affair with the garlic-stuffed olives is basked in a not-so-forgiving light*

*The clerk awkwardly resumes his bagging*

*A tumbleweed rolls through the grocery-store clerk's sex life*

A moment of silence for the end of my love-affair with garlic-stuffed olives.



In other news, a half-assed, snackalicious recipe...



Cleary, quesadillas aren't real photogenic.

In fact, if I hadn't told you this was a quesadilla, you probably wouldn't know wtf it actually is. It conceivably could be pancakes with a smushy-inner-layer. It could be a really flat sandwich. It could be Vincent Price in hiding. It's really hard to say.



Nonethless, I whipped these up one day when I was studying my ass off and needed a break.

They're nothing particularly magical, mostly a quick-fix when you need something slightly greasy. But I thought they were yum.

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 taco-sized tortillas


• 1/2 of a 15-oz can of black beans, drained and mashed with a fork


• 1 ripe avocado, peeled and diced


• Diced fresh tomatoes, 1/3 to 1/2 c.


• Salsa or hot sauce to dip


• Vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS

Smash your avocado into your bean mix until you have a sticky, gluey (but slightly chunky) mixture. Take a tortilla and slather your bean/avocado mix on it thickly, leaving room around the edges to seal it (or not--as you can see, mine aren't sealed real well... the bean/avocado mix is sticky enough to keep them togehter). Smoosh another tortilla over it and seal the edges as much as possible by dampening them with a tiny bit of water and smooshing them together.

Repeat with your second set of tortillas.

Heat up some veggie oil in a skillet until hot. (I used maybe 1 T. since I don't like stuff real greasy.) Toss your quesadilla on it and grill one side until starting to brown. Flip. Remove after second side browns up nicely. Slice into quarters or halves. Repeat.

Chow down with some salsa or hot sauce.