Buttery Kidney Bean and Avocado Salad

As any of you who've been reading this blog for more than five minutes knows, I've had a long-standing and torrid (and sexy, and kinda sweaty) love affair with the avocado. Quite frankly, if I had a harem list of foods like I do my harem-list of famous-people (see My Personal Harem list in the sidebar here for more), the avocado would be my Julian Casablancas, my #1 go-to food. It is sexy and it sets my insides all a-flutter. It is, dare I say it, the perfect food.

So although this is not any real complicated recipe, is not even really a "recipe" per se, I felt the need to share it with you today. Because over the past week, my love of avocado has been reaffirmed (I've been lucking out with perfectly ripe avocado after perfectly ripe avocado from the market for the past couple weeks), and I recently realized that, if I were into threesomes, it'd most certainly be the kidney bean that I'd invite to join me and Avocado.

Seriously. Kidney beans and avocado? Surprisingly damn good. I think it's because as beans go, kidney beans are one of the more buttery ones in consistency, just like an avocado. And they are rich-tasting and velvety in consistency, JUST LIKE THE AVOCADO! And they're damn sexy!!!! JUST LIKE THE AVOCADO!!!!! I mean, seriously, how could you NOT let them go at it with each other knowing all that?

So yes. Though this seems almost not even worthy of its own recipe, given the simplicity of it, I figure it's worth noting if for no other reason than to get you out there and dabbling with an avocado-kidney bean threesome. (And yes, it's healthy, it's super-easy, and it's MAGICAL to eat. MAGICAL!)

INGREDIENTS:

I've included guess-timated proportions for the anal-retentive of you, but truly, it all comes down to portioning it out the way that makes you most tingly in your nether-regions.

• Shredded/chopped lettuce (About 1 cup)


• Kidney beans (About 1/2 to 3/4 cup)


• 1/2 of an avocado, diced


• One plum tomato, diced


• Salsa (1/2 to 3/4 cup)

DIRECTIONS

Toss lettuce in a bowl. Heat up the kidney beans in a microwave until hot. Toss the kidney beans, avocado, and plum tomato on top of the lettuce. Top off with salsa (not pictured here, otherwise it'd make a really boring picture).