Porcini Mushroom Stroganoff

                                       from The Candle Cafe Cookbook

It is currently 14-degrees. I am indoors. It is lightly snowing outdoors. I am listening to weird Radiohead covers. And I'm worrying about the damn outdoor stray that I built my cat shelter for.

I bumped into him yesterday when I got home from dinner with a friend. He was sitting in the snow. It was freezing.

I gave him some more food.

And then he did something out of the ordinary: he let me pet him all sorts of crazy. Normally, he'll barely let me touch his head, but this time he was GUNG-HO.

Which made me feel bad. Because I thought: he's probably being super-affectionate in the hope that I'll let him indoors with me.

So I fretted. And I tried to coax him into the cat shelter (which he doesn't seem to have used this past week). And I came back out and tried to coax him into a cat carrier (I figured since he wasn't being skittish, perhaps I could finally coerce him to come live with my mum, but no luck). And I pet him. And I lectured him about getting somewhere warm and STAYING there instead of sitting in the snow. When I tried again to coerce him into the carrier, he leisurely trotted off and scooted under my back neighbor's porch.

And that was that.

It upsets me though. Because the poor thing doesn't deserve to have to deal with this bitter cold. He's a big sweetie. And that makes it EXTRA-sucky.

Both N-A and my mom reminded me yesterday though that he made it through a winter or two already, so clearly he knows how to keep himself safe and warm. And they're right.

It just bothers me, going to bed, all snug under tons of covers, my cats all snuggled up against my legs, knowing that the poor thing's outside just trying to keep warm. And that there's only so much I can do.

So yeah.

I HATE THIS WEATHER.

Nonetheless: Since we don't have much choice, I figured I'd post this recipe today as it is a nice F- You to the snow. It'll warm you from your belly out to your toenails and the tips of your hair.

It's thick and heavy. And it's warm and very home-cooking-esque.

**AND** it's real super-easy to make.

So if you're cursing the snow, go whip some up.

And send your good vibes in the direction of my little neighborhood stray.



INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. extra-virgin olive oil


• 1 T. unbleached flour


• 2 T. soy margarine


• 3 garlic cloves


• 1 yellow onion, finely chopped


• 1/2 T. sea salt


• 1 T. freshly ground back pepper


• 2 oz. dried porcini mushrooms


• 1 lb. button mushrooms


• 1/4 c. white wine (or veggie broth works too)


• 1 T. tomato paste


• 1 c. soy milk


• pinch of dried parsley


• pinch of dried dill


• 1 thyme sprig (or a pinch or two of dried thyme)


• 1 bay leaf


• 1/2 c. chopped fresh chives


• 1 lb. fettuccine

DIRECTIONS

In a large saucepan over medium heat, heat the oil. Stir in the flour and cook for four minutes, stirring frequently. Add the soy margarine, garlic, onion,salt, and pepper and cook for an additional 4 minutes.

Add the porcini and button mushrooms, wine, tomatoes paste, and soy milk. Stir in the parsley, dill, thyme, bay leaf, and chives Bring to a boil, then simmer over low heat for 20 minutes.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil and cook the fettuccine according to package directions. Drain.

Spoon the sauce over the fettucine and serve at once.

Makes 4-6 servings.

(Recipe from the Candle Cafe Cookbook, reposted at Bodhi Studios)

"The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog": Resuscitated!

(For past editions, click HERE)

So just the other day, I was bemoaning the fact that the wild and fascinating plethora of strange google searches that bring people to this blog has dropped off drastically. And it was starting to bum me out a wee bit. I mean, how could you NOT get bummed out when you haven't seen a good "orange oily feces" search in months??

But then: this morning, I log onto the computer, and suddenly, it's like X-mas all over again! Not one ridiculous search, but handfuls!

So enjoy!

And God bless us, every one!

• shit licking sex


• insides of a butt


• vegan shitting my brains out


• shits New Year resolution


• This is my favorite shit


• vomit on her basil says

And these two are contenders for my all-time favorites, as they were both googled WITHIN THE SAME HOUR and BY TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE (who apparently abide by the misguided belief that they are, indeed, the shit and that the internet can verify this for them):

• yeah im the shit yeah am shit up in this bitch


• cause i'm the shit yeah i'm the shit

The Improvisational Cooking of the Ass-Less

N-A has been a cooking SLUT as of late. As he said recently, "Thanks for reintroducing me to my love of cooking. And also you are super-awesome and sexy and will one day rule the world and I shall bow to you and lick your feet." (That's not a DIRECT quote, of course.) Anyways, he had a brief stint as a cook at a local tavern/concert venue, so over the past month or so, he's been whipping out (tee hee) several recipes from days of yore for us to eat.

His ability to improvise in the kitchen actually makes me quite envious. Envious, but also inspired. It's been kind of a kick in the butt for ME to start improvising more in the kitchen as well. (Yesterday's recipe, and my Vodka lasagna recipe, being a couple such examples.) New Year's Resolution #17: Keep the improvising up for as long as possible.

The only problem with this as a resolution is a lack of concrete recipes. Which isn't much fun for YOU all, dearest readers. So I'll definitely try to balance out the improvisational cooking with some concrete recipes that I can share.

But unfortunately, because N-A's recipes are of the improvisational variety, I don't have any real recipes to share with you today.

But I do have pics that you can drool over and that will make you consider kidnapping my boyfriend.

But don't even try it.

I bite.

(Mango guacamole--a mix of canned mango/syrup,
avocado, saltines, onions, etc.)


(Stacked tacos--shrooms, tomatoes, beans, corn, peppers, etc., baked,
and topped with vegan sour cream and the aforementioned guac)


(Curried lentil stew--lentils, tofu, broccoli, spices, etc.)


(Some sort of bean/lentil stew--can't remember)


(Tacos--tomatoes, shrooms, beans, corn,
olives, avocado, vegan sour cream, etc.)