"The Most Bizarre Google Searches by Which People Stumble Across This Blog", Edition 272.343

So I dug VeganMofo, and although I wasn't able to post 5 days a week, I *DID* post 25 times for the month, so TAKE THAT.

However, although VeganMofo DID bump my readership up by like 250+ or so, it also effectively managed to kill all entertaining google searches for the month.

Lucky for you all, I have some leftovers from the last time I posted my google-searches.

So enjoy.

• you fucken vegetable


• my brownies didn't cook all the way


• fucking cool vegetarian recipes


• fucking pizza


• Franny and Zooey Liz Phair fuck and run


• refried shit


• yeah that vegan crap


• loo shit eating sex


• mark twain bourbon


• sexy man licking lips


• bean curd bizarre


• vegan leatherface


• homemade topless


• feasting ass


• shit on head porn


• Mexican chocolate is sweet


• shit cake pan


• sentences using benign


• image of testicle licking

(For past editions, click HERE)

Caramelized Tofu & Brussel Sprouts

                                      from 101 Cookbooks

This recipe was SO very yum.

My only problem with it: The cutting of brussel sprouts into "1/8-inch wide ribbons." No matter what direction I cut, they were chunks, not ribbons. I don't know what wonderful land of strangely ribbony brussel sprouts 101cookbooks lives in, BUT IT APPARENTLY IS NOT THE U.S. of A.

So my recommendation: Just do the best you can with shredding them up thinly. The thinner the better, since they'll take less time to cook.

Also, I doubled the recipe (sort of) below, mostly because--I'm sorry but--there's no way in hell that 1/2 block of tofu can serve 2-4 people.

Otherwise: this is one of those wonderfully minimalist recipes that brings out a delicate and sweet medley of flavors from your brussel sprouts and tofu by not overdoing it with too many other ingredients. And it doesn't take very long to make. Woot woot!

INGREDIENTS:

• 16 oz. extra-firm tofu cut into thin 1-inch segments (or just thinner strips--I also pressed my tofu)


• A couple pinches of fine-grain sea salt (optional)


• A couple splashes of olive/peanut/sesame oil


• 4 medium cloves garlic, minced


• 2/3 c. pecans, toasted and chopped


• 6 T. fine-grain natural cane sugar or brown sugar


• 1/4-1/2 c. cilantro, chopped


• 1/2 to 1 lb. brussels sprouts, washed and cut into 1/8-inch wide ribbons

DIRECTIONS

Cook the tofu strips in large hot skillet (or pot) with a bit of salt and a splash of oil. Saute until slightly golden, about 4-8 minutes each side. Add the garlic and pecans, and cook for another minute. Stir in sugar. Cook for another couple of minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro. Scrape the tofu out onto a plate and set aside while you cook the brussels sprouts.

In the same pan (no need to wash), add a touch more oil, another pinch of salt, and dial the heat up to medium-high. When the pan is nice and hot stir in the shredded brussels sprouts. Cook for 2 - 10 minutes (or until golden and tender), stirring a couple times (but not too often) until you get some golden bits, and the rest of the sprouts are bright and delicious. (It may take as long as 15 minutes if you cook a whole pound.)

Serves 2 - 3 as a main, 4 as a side

(Original recipe from 101 Cookbooks)

Meme This, Motherf-ers!

Got tagged by Eat a Vegan, and since I haven't seen this meme before, and since it's buttfucking early in the morn and I'd much rather be thinking about all the places I'd rather be right now other than here, I'm taking her up on the challenge.


1. Four Places I Go Over and Over

• The Westside Market--Every Friday morning. I love me some fresh veggies.


• Prosperity Social Club--I get my drink on here fairly regularly. It's become my favorite local bar. Helps that they have a pool table and a great patio.


• My neighborhood library--I'm one of those nerds who always has shit on order and who the librarians know by name.


• Civilization Coffee Shop--I am a bagel whore and they have my favorite bagels.

2. Four People Who E-mail Me Regularly

• Bo


• N-A


• P


• Thinking that it's got to be super uninteresting for you to read the answer for this one since you're just gonna be like: Oh yay. Four people that I totally don't know.

3. Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

• Still in bed with my two cats curled up against me, purring.


• Still in bed with N-A curled up next to me and snoring to wake the dead.


• At N-A's in the summer, sitting out on his porch with a bunch of his friends, smoking, drinking, and talking shit.


• Messing up my sheets with N-A.

4. Four of My Favorite Places to Eat

• Melt--Vegan grilled cheez!


• Johnny Mango--How I can manage to regularly finish off one of their Big Plates and still only weigh 130 lbs is beyond me.


• Mint Cafe--Bubble tea! Awesome curries! Yum soup!


• Pacific East--still my favorite sushi place.

5. Four TV Shows I Watch Over and Over

• The Office--I can watch this shit over and over and do whenever possible.


• The Simpsons/Family Guy--I catch the reruns sometimes while eating dinner.


• The Wire--I don't watch this over and over, but it's definitely in my top 3 televisions shows of all time.


• Six Feet Under--See "The Wire."

6. Four Bands/Musicians You Just Can't Get Enough of This Month

(I switched the tagging question cuz, well, if you wanna meme this, then consider yourself tagged)

• Kings of Leon--I don't know why, but I'm smitten as of late.


• Wow--I'm a douche and can't really think of any others. I've basically been listening to the Kings of Leon station for weeks on Pandora Radio. *COUobsessedGH*