Apple, Onion & "Cheddar" Pizza

                                    from Everybody Likes Sandwiches

Apparently, in an attempt to make up for the previous notorious mishap, the pizza gods sent me this recipe. And it was good.

*angels hollering in chorus*

I had another batch of crust left over in my freezer, so after seeing this recipe the other day (which I thought was delightfully strange and yet sounded weirdly awesome), I decided to buy some apples and get to work.

#1--This pizza was no walk on the moon either. Not because of the recipe or anything. But despite the fact that I FLOURED my paddle this time (after I came to the conclusion--with the help of a few others as well--that this may have caused the mishap last week), the dough still stuck to it. I ended up gently closing it into a calzone just to get it on the pizza stone and then reopening it and sort of half-assedly redistributing the toppings. So it really doesn't look quite so good as it did initially, since much of the cheez managed to burrow under the apples with all my folding and whatnot.

#2--I'm not really sure why I started numbering as I don't think I really had a second point, so this will be my second point.

#3--Ok, maybe I *DID* have a second point after all, but it can be my third instead: what a freaking explosive flavor combination this pizza is. Seriously. Every once in a while you stumble across a recipe that seems like sheer flavor-genius, where the creator could not have picked ANYTHING better to include or exclude from the recipe, and this is surely one of those. I *DID* leave out the capers ('cause for some reason I didn't think I had any, but I realized last night that I had a half-jar after all), but even without: the delicately balsamicized onions are sweet and wonderful compliments to the apples, the pesto adds a nice little bit of needed saltiness to the mix, the perfumey sweetness of the sun-dried tomatoes melds seemlessly with the Macintosh--like some strange little sister--and the vegan cheddar balances everything out with just the slightest bit of salty, zingy punch.

This recipe comes at a particularly good time since autumn is finally rolling in, which means a bounty of gorgeous, crisp apples to work with.

So seriously: if you're looking to try out a new pizza recipe any time soon, let it be this one.



INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. olive oil


• 1 large red onion, sliced thin


• 5 cloves garlic, sliced


• 1 T. balsamic vinegar


• 1 ball of pizza dough (store bought or homemade--I used the recipe from VwaV)


• 1/4 c. sliced sun-dried tomatoes (rehydrated, if not the oily kind)


• 3 T. pesto (or enough to smooth a thin layer over your pizza dough)


• 1 MacIntosh apples (or any tart apple), sliced thinly*


• 1 c. (give or take) vegan cheddar cheez, grated


*I think I could've easily gotten away with using just one apple, so gauge it based on how large your crust is--mine was probably about a 14", and one would've worked just fine.

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 450. In a large pan, heat olive oil over medium heat, adding in onions and garlic. Stir until onions turn soft, about 10 minutes. Add in balsamic vinegar and turn down heat to medium-low, stirring occassionally. The onions should be soft, glossy and caramelized, if they get too dry, add in a little water. Remove from heat.

Roll out your pizza dough and place on sheet. Spread dough with a thin layer of pesto and cover with caramelized onions and sprinkle with capers (optional), and sun-dried tomatoes. Spread a layer of apples over top and then cover with vegan cheez.

Bake in oven for about 15-20 minutes or until crust is golden and cheese is bubbly.

(Original recipe from Everybody Likes Sandwiches)

Fucking Motherfuck

                                    from VegCooking

Few of you have probably actually HEARD of the rare italian delight, the Fucking Motherfuck. It is probably best described as the little sister to the calzone: a wealth of veggies and spices wrapped in a delicately herbed crust.

A Fucking Motherfuck, huh? you're now saying to yourself. I've surely never seen THAT on the menu at any Italian restaurant. How does one go about preparing a Fucking Motherfuck?

Well, basically prep time is no more involved than making a pizza or a calzone. What you do is, while your pizza stone heats up in the oven at about 500F or so, you roll out pizza dough into the shape of a 14" pizza crust. You then place the crust on top of your wooden pizza paddle and top it with all your seasonings and toppings as you would if you were making an actual pizza.

Here is where the prep deviates from the standard pizza-baking: instead of gingerly sliding your pizza crust off the pizza paddle and onto the warm and inviting pizza stone as you would a standard pizza, you should instead BEGIN to do just that, but the crust should decide to stick to your pizza paddle. You should then take a spatula and attempt to loosen the crust on all sides from the pizza paddle. Follow this up by attempting to slide it off onto your pizza stone again--if you've made your Fucking Motherfuck correctly, you will realize that it is still sticking to your pizza paddle (like the Fucking Motherfuck it is). You should then cuss at it under your breath (presumably this is how it got its name) and attempt to loosen it from the pizza paddle a second time with your spatula.

Try once more to slide it off onto the pizza stone [PLEASE NOTE: to correctly bake a Fucking Motherfuck, your crust should not be jammed at by your spatula more or less than twice, otherwise your Fucking Motherfuck will not cook as it should], and when this fails a third time, begin to thrust your spatula sporadically underneath the crust, with a hint of frustrated desperation, and jam it hastily onto the pizza stone. Given that most of your crust will still be stuck to the paddle, your pizza should then completely invert itself and end up spilling onto your pizza stone, topping side face-down. When this happens, be sure to let out a frustrated wail and shout the name of your Italian delicacy once more, for all the neighbors to hear.

Once your pizza crust and toppings have been completely inverted onto your pizza stone, you are well on your way to baking a successful Fucking Motherfuck. You should then frustratedly smash it all together, with a sense of desperate nihilism. Presumably, you will want to get SOME of the crust underneath your toppings, but whatever. As long as it's all in a big heap of vegetable-doughy sloppiness, your Fucking Motherfuck is on the fast-track to success!

Slam the oven door shut loudly (if you'd like, you can slam it one or two more times, just for good measure) and then let your Fucking Motherfuck bake for about 15 minutes or so. You will not be able to tell for certain it is done, as it will look like a mound of half-burnt, crusty, doughy vegetables, but as long as the crust has begun to brown and the vegetables appear to be sizzling, you should be ok. (If you'd like, you can tear off a bit of the crust right now, just to doublecheck how done it is.) When cooked through, remove from the oven and let cool.

Treat your Fucking Motherfuck as you would a calzone--you can just eat it as is or serve it with a side of tomato sauce.

Your Fucking Motherfuck will serve 2-3.

Below is a recipe for a Dill & Vegetable Fucking Motherfuck, but you can fill your Fucking Motherfuck with whatever toppings your little heart desires.


DILL & VEGETABLE FUCKING MOTHERFUCK

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 T. vegan margarine


• 1/2 c. onions, thinly sliced


• 1 vegan pizza dough


• 1 garlic bulb


• 1/2 c. minced dill


• 3 firm Roma tomatoes, thinly sliced


• 1 small eggplant, thinly sliced (I also salted it and let it drain for 1/2 an hour and then rinsed and patted it dry)


• 3 T. extra-virgin olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 425F if you are making the pizza version, 500F if you are making a Fucking Motherfuck.

In a medium sauté pan over medium heat, melt the margarine. Sauté the onions until caramelized. Set aside.

Roll out the pizza dough to 1/4-inch thick. Spread with the garlic and sprinkle with 1/2 of the dill. Arrange the onions, tomatoes, and eggplant on top. Brush with the oil and sprinkle with the remaining dill.

Transfer into your oven or onto your pizza stone (if you are making a Fucking Motherfuck, follow the directions detailed above).

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes for a pizza (15-20 for a Fucking Motherfuck), until the dough is crispy and the vegetables are soft.

(Recipe from VegCooking)

Rum Cashew Fudge

I'm normally not one to chuckle about dead animals/insects/etc., but the irony of the following story made it difficult not to find it at least a LITTLE bit humorous.

I decided this past weekend to whip up some whiskey peanut fudge for our Cleveland Veganz September outting (go check out pics!). So I'm standing in my kitchen, melting chocolate chips in my microwave after having just whisked together the powdered sugar and whiskey for the fudge, and I catch a glimpse of the powdered-sugar/whiskey mixture out of the corner of my eye, noting that there a couple of black flecks in the mix. So I'm like, Hm. What the heck? Did I not clean the bowl out all the way? Now, I'm not the best of dishcleaners, granted, but to set all your minds at ease, what had been in the bowl previously WAS actually chocolate as well, which is why I wasn't overly-concerned. Anyways, I leaned in nonetheless, to pick the little black flecks out with my finger only to get a closer look and realize that they're not chocolate bits, they're BROWN ANTS!

Apparently my bag of powdered sugar was not closed all the way, and back when I was having the ant problem, a bunch of them ants got a wee bit too excited and climbed into the powdered sugar, never to emerge again. Which really is a bummer for those ants (though I guess there are worse ways to go than drowning in sugar), but struck me as RIDICULOUSLY ironic seeing as, of all the events I could've been making fudge for, it was a vegan event where accidental ants would've not just been gross but would've gone against everything the event itself was about.

So yeah: I almost made ant fudge and served it to a bunch of vegans. GO ME!

The GOOD thing that came out of this is that I ran out of whiskey, so after getting a new batch of powdered sugar, I decided to use rum and cashews instead of whiskey and peanuts. And I've gotta say, I think I might've actually liked the combo quite a bit more.

The whiskey fudge is most DEFINITELY good good shit, but it is kind of gruff and the kind of fudge that would EASILY get pissed off at you in a bar setting and break a bottle over your skull. The RUM fudge on the other hand had a bit more suaveness behind it. It's the kind of fudge that would lean over to you at the bar (in an entirely non-sleazy way), place its fingertips lightly on your wrist, and whisper flirtatious words into your ear, nearly touching you with its lips so that it can be heard over the bar-noise, and making you tingle at the feel of its warm breath against your neck.

I didn't take a picture of the new fudge, since it pretty much looked like the other fudge. So just use your imagination and picture that the peanuts are actually cashews and the whiskey is rum. Do it.

INGREDIENTS:

• 6 T. rum


• 1 1/4 c. powdered sugar


• 1 1/4 c. semisweet chocolate chips (melt them and cool them down after measuring the amount)


• 1 c. cashews (chop them after measuring the amount)

DIRECTIONS

prepare an 8×8 baking pan with some parchment paper for minimal cleanup.

whisk your rum together with the sugar. throw in cashews. add chocolate, stir well.

pour in your prepared baking pan, grab an extra piece of parchment paper and press down with a spatula [or your not-too-warm hands] on top of the extra parchment to level the fudge.

place in fridge for at least a couple of hours.

remove from pan, remove parchment paper and cut your fudge the way it’s never been cut before. the size of the pieces is up to you!

(Original whiskey-fudge recipe from Have Cake, Will Travel)