Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Flayed Mignon of Flabtastic Arm

So I bought this bean curd pack



at Tink Holl (a nearby Asian market) about a month ago with the intent of eventually stir-frying it. Which I did just the other day.

I was excited about using it, because I'd just been talking to my friend, Ms. Tudor Rosy about these delicious bean curd-skin dishes that we'd both had once that were AMAZING, and this bean curd pack sort of actually looked like what they might've used for them. So I was pumped.

And then I opened the pack. And then I realized: the bean curd IN the bean curd pack kind of had the weird gelatinous consistency of the skin on chicken before you cook it. Or the flabby underside of an overweight dude's arm if he didn't get out much in the sun and then some crazed psycho killer tied him to a chair and slowly skinned the flabby underside of his upper arm off in layers:



BLLLLLORF.

Yeah, I just grossed myself out with that image as well.

But it IS kind of what it looked like. And the taste of it before marinating? Well, I can't attest to the taste of flayed flabby underside of an upper arm of course, but it's kind of what I'd IMAGINE it would taste like before you cooked it, which means: creepily gelatinous and utterly flavorless.

Thankfully after I fried it up in some teriyaki with onions, edamame, broccoli, and 'shrooms it tasted slightly better. Like tofu, it's a kind of flavor-shapeshifter, taking on the taste of whatever it happens to be cooked with. However, it DOES kind of retain that creepy gelatinous consistency, which I wasn't incredibly enthused about.

So the long and short of this review? I'd say try it out and see what you think. Just give it a year or so before you do, that way you can forget that I compared it to the flabby underside of someone's upper arm first.

Double blorf.

3 comments:

livetobegreen said...

bahaha! This blog cracks my shit up! you are freaking awesome!

Chef Mark Rasmussen said...

Very funny blog! Orgasmically tasty looking food. BTW that flabarm tofu is cool if you pull it and make vegan eggdrop soup or pulled pork mockups.

Lindy Loo said...

Oh hell! That's brilliant on both counts. I hadn't even thought of how much the consistency could work in eggdrop soup. Brilliant brilliant brilliant!