So I know there's gotta be a few incorrigible cat ladies (or cat guys) out there who are well-versed in the way of cat. The kind of cat people that, say, accidentally toss the corner of a cat-hair laden blanket over their peanut butter bagel and are so resigned to their cat persondom that instead of just throwing the hairy bagel away, they carefully hold it up to the sunlight and extract as much of the hair from the peanut butter as they can see and then proceed to eat it in a shaded area so that they at least won't have to SEE all the little glimmers of cat hair that they're consuming. Not that I'm saying *I* did that 20 minutes ago. With a glass of lemonade that was sitting next to a wobbly tumbleweed of accumulated cat hair. Oh no. But that YOU might be the kind of person to do that.
In which case: I need your help.
I have three lovely adorable wonderful cats. And I recently found out they have giardia. (Presumably the newest of the three brought it in with her, to my great joy.) They all have diarrhea (some of them bloody diarrhea), their stomachs are constantly and loudly churning away, and their coats are getting faded in color since (presumably) their nutrients are getting leached (I've been giving them vitamin treats in an attempt to help with this). So I've been (trying) to treat them all. I've done so, unsuccesfully, twice already. And I'm on my third attempt.
The problem is, the medication is horribly horribly bitter and cats hate it. (For those of you well-versed in cat meds, they've had two runs at the panacur with no luck and this is their second run at metronizadole.)
One of my cats I can pill. And she's easy-going enough that I can trick her.
The other cat, I could pill if I wanted, but she's a wee bit of an evil hellion, so I'm doing my best to work around it.
The third cat, bless her heart, is a little weirdo who is afraid of people and refuses to let me pick her up. Ever. Needless to say, pilling is not an option. She also apparently has the superheroic ability to discern even something SLIGHTLY out of place in her food. I have had the medicine COMPOUNDED into a mothereffing a) treat, b) ear-ointment, and c) flavorless liquid for her, and a) she hates the treat, b) she let me put the ear ointment on twice and then refused to let me touch her ears ever again, and c) somehow has the ability to discern that there is a strange flavorless, tasteless liquid in her food.
She is a mad fricking genius.
So: does anyone have other suggestions?
I have to pill her twice a day, or somehow get her to consume the treats twice a day.
Things I've tried so far:
Mixing the treats and/or meds in with her moist food.
Mixing the treats and/or meds in with her dry food.
Mixing the treats and/or meds in with mushed up sardines.
Using pill pockets.
Wrapping the medicated treats in cheese*. (Yes, not vegan I know, but my cats aren't vegan anyways, and I'm desperate here.)
Chasing her through the house with a treat in my hand bellowing, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY WON'T YOU JUST EAT THIS GODDAMN THING?!?! and then sobbing a little. (The most ineffective thus far.)
Cursing my very existence. (Also ineffective.)
So please: any suggestions you may have, lay them on me. Just please don't suggest anything that requires me catching her and forcing something in her mouth because--trust me--it's an impossibility (esp. since I don't have doors in my apartment).
PS. These are my three little chickpeas. They thank you ahead of time for your help: