E's Mom's "Goulash-That-Isn't-Really-Goulash"

I was gonna be lazy and just post some things that I've eaten but you haven't. But then I said: No. Post a motherf-ing recipe already. You didn't post one yesterday. You have several just sitting there, moping around, waiting for you to post them so they can get some attention. So post a motherfucker.

E cooked this for us this weekend. He said his mom used to make it for them when they were little (though not veganized) and he used to love it. It is a good and quick meal to whip up and one that I'm guessing would please kids (though I can't say for sure, since there ARE some Damiens out there and whatnot). Either which way: try it sometime. Or don't. I don't really care.

But remember: one day I may post the greatest recipe the universe has ever seen, one that is the equivalent of a decade-long orgasm, and if you are "too busy" to try these out, while everyone else's eyes are dilated, toes are clenched, mouths are trapped in an ecstatic gaping o, you'll just be sitting there, farting around, missing out.

And it'd serve you right.*

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 lb. elbow mac


• 1 bag morningstar veggie crumbles


• 1 large can crushed tomato


• 2 T. fresh chopped parsley


• 2 T. fresh chopped basil


• 3/4 t. crushed dried rosemary


• salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

cook pasta al dente.

drain pasta, do not rinse.

cook veggie crumbles in frying pan until slightly browned.

in large pot, combine entire can (tomatoes and sauce) of crushed tomatoes, pasta, veggie crumbles, basil, parsley, rosemary, salt, pepper.

heat through over med flame, stirring often.

once heated, serve.

yum.

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*E's goulash is *not*, in fact, the Giant Universe-Orgazmo Recipe, though it *is* good. Just wanted to clarify so that I don't get accusatory responses about being misleading when all you orgasm-junkies run out and try it.


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Oh yeah! And he made us salads. I feature it mostly because sometimes fresh vegetables are pretty enough to pass as modern art: