My Bitchin' Vegan Standards

Well, Tiger (*growr*), I was out of recipes for the week, so I was happy to get your request in my comments-section yesterday. And in honor of your transition to veggie-ness (and hopefully future transition to maximum veganosity), I present a list of my tried-and-true vegan items that I cannot live without.

Goodies and Foodlinesses

• Tofutti: I'm sorry, but I've yet to stumble across any other vegan ice creams that even give Tofutti a run for its money. It's rich and creamy (unlike some of the other brands which are more watery and icy-tasting), and among its various flavors, the Almond Bark and Cookie Crunch make me happy in my pee-pee.


• Rice Dream Frozen Pies: This is what Jesus would taste like if he were a food. They are sweet sweet goodness in the form of "ice cream" squished between two vegan cookies and dipped in glorious vegan chocolate. Hell would be a world where Rice Dream Frozen Pies existed no more. I recommend mocha.


<--- See: Jesus.


• Black beans: I could not live without these damn things. I have a fairly jam-packed schedule during the work-week: I get up at 5:45am and rarely get home before 8:30pm. Black beans keep my lazy-ass healthy. All I have to do is drain 'em, rinse 'em, and throw them in the microwave. Sometimes I just eat them with some salsa. Other times I crumble Fritos on top or cilantro and vegan sour cream when I have some around. I heart black beans.


• Smart-Balance Lite Margarine: I am a toast-addict (I have toast nearly every day), so I don't like eating vegan margarines that are really high in fat. Which is why I always keep a tub of this around--if I remember correctly, it only has 5 g. of fat per serving (unlike the usual 11 g.). And the one I buy has flaxseed oil in it as well, which makes me feel all flaxy and good on my insides.


• Earth Balance Margarine: This one I keep around for all my baking. Don't try using Smart-Balance for baking. It won't work. Use Earth Balance for whipping up them scrumptious vegan cookies. And then BRING ME SOME, DAMMIT.


• Natural Peanut-Butter: I am a peanut-butter whore. What can I say? Any time I have toast, the PB must come along for the ride. I think I buy Smuckers brand typically, though I really like the Trader Joe's brand as well. Stear clear of Skippy Natural PB as it doesn't taste natural at all--it tastes like you're slathering a big ol' greasy heart-attack onto your slice of bread.




• Terra Exotic Vegetable Chips: These are my downfall, so I actually try NOT to have them on-hand otherwise I can't control myself. Nonetheless, they deserve mentioning. If I could, I'd have their babies.


• Semi-sweet vegan chocolate chips: I like chocolate chips in my pancakes. And when I bake something, it usually has chocolate chips in it. So I try to always have some on hand. They're also useful for an occasional mad chocolate craving--just a few do the trick.


• TVP: I always keep a batch of this around too, in case I'm in the mood for a bit heartier taco-ish mixture. Usually I throw it in with some black beans, water, seasonings, and sometimes tomatoes and cook it for a bit and then stuff some tacos with it. Also fantastique in chili. (You can usually find this in the bulk-bins at health-food stores.)


• Silk soy milk: I can't really say for certain whether I've tried other brands or not. Either way, I really dig the Silk brand soy milk, both plain and vanilla. Tasty tasty.


• Crunchy granola bars and Quaker Apple Cinnamon rice cakes--just watch out for honey in the granola bars. I chow on these at work when I'm hungry. Crunch crunch crunch. That's what I say while I eat them. Crunch crunch crunch.




• Amy's Soups and Chilis: I almost always have a can of one of these on hand as they are damn good and they make for a quick meal. Chili-wise, I prefer the spicy. Soup-wise, my favorites are the minestrone and the fire-roasted southwestern vegetable.


• Tofutti Vegan Sour Cream: I cannot get enough of this stuff lately. I think it would even taste yummy slathered on a shoe.


• Deva Vegan Multivitamins (and Flaxseed Oil Supplements)--So I don't feel quite so unhealthy eating vegan sour cream slathered on a shoe.

Da Booze
Beer:
I am a *HUGE* beer drinker, and strangely, going vegan has actually helped refine my tastes in beer.

When feeling cheap, I usually just pick myself up some Rolling Rock.

When I'm a bit more willing to splurge, it's usually

• Goose Island's Nut Brown beer,


• Ephemere,


• a Great Lakes sampler, or




• a Samuel Smith Nut Brown (which is currently reigning champion of my favorite beers). Any and all of the Samuel Smiths I've had thus far have rocked.

Wine:
I like my wine like I like my ladies: cheap. And kind of buxomy with a tattoo or two. *Budduuummmm chiii* I typically just buy Yellowtail as it is inexpensive and I can easily find it at my local grocery store.


Stuff for Da Body
Mouf

• Tom's of Maine toothpaste




• Dessert Essence Dental Tape

Pits

• I have yet to find a deodorant that blows me away. Recommendations would be appreciated.

Hair

• Nature's Gate shampoos (I think mine's the lavendar and aloe)--I also highly recommend Abba Haircare products as well (mostly because you'll inevitably end up either humming or belting out "Dancing Queen" everytime you're in the shower).


• Kiss My Face Styling Gel--awesome awesome shit


• Giovanni Glam Traxx Stick Wax


• Giovanni Styling Glue--makes my hair stick out all crazy-like. Boo.

Bod

• Austin Soaps which will just blow your mind. (Just watch out for the occasional honey in their flavors.) My personal favorite is "Mother Earth."

Face

• Dessert Essence Tea Tree Therapy Soap (though I always appreciate recommendations)


• Nature's Gate Sunscreen Moisture Cream

Cosmetics

Lips:

• ELF's Super Glossy Lip Shine (vanilla/grape flavored--rocks out).


• The Merry Hempster's Spearmint Vegan Lip Balm

Eyes:

• ELF'S Brightening Eye Color eye shadows


• Beauty Without Cruelty Mascara

Skin:

• Beauty Without Cruelty Cover Stick

Legs:

• Kiss My Face's Peaceful Patchouli Moisture Shave--good good stuff. And allows me to smell like sweet sweet glorious hippieness for hours.

Hands:

• Kiss My Face's Peaceful Patchouli Hand Soap--so I can make everyone ELSE stink like dirty hippy for hours. OH HELL YES.

Bajingo

• A terry-cloth pad one of my sister's friends made.


• My ever faithful divacup. Fuck tampons and TSS!

My one question for you all: what is your favorite vegan bread? I buy fresh stuff occasionally from a local vendor, but I can't get through it quickly enough before it molds. What easy-to-find grocery brands do you recommend?